142 Comments

That will negate arson in all the other church fires, no doubt.

Expand full comment

Good thing too. Capitalist economies would collapse pretty spectacularly if we all stopped coveting stuff.

Expand full comment

That's *sniff* beautiful.😿

Expand full comment

Damn! Fixed the misspellings, but now the engraving company forgot the asterisk by the "graven images" line!

Expand full comment

Probably also lost head-rounding and beard-cornering in that set. Damn, how can anyone even be moral if their beard isn't trimmed in certain ways?

I always like to imagine that "the other set" was all the punishments for violating the first 10. "Thou shalt receive tornadoes and floods and be infested with simpletons for every coveting"

Expand full comment

Not odd at all, all chattle. Movable goods, owned by a fellow dude-bro.

Expand full comment

"12. Thou shalt clubbeth thine sane-folk with The Lord's jiggery-pokery until applesauce doth pour out"

Expand full comment

Wait, since when is coveting your neighbor's manservant a sin? Julio and I are in love!

Expand full comment

Jesus was thinking about working as haberdasher, in a chapeau shop.

Expand full comment

That's my neighbor?! I need to covet some binoculars, stat!

Expand full comment

Wait a minute, a football stadium is sacred ground and no monument should contradict this commandment: "I am the Lord thy God football. You shall allow no other sport to come before me."

Expand full comment

That should shield the kid from Josh Duggar.

Expand full comment

There is an 11th Commandment. Its in the new testament.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Expand full comment

Applesauce!Pure applesauce!!

Expand full comment

Those things aren't cheap. My uncle's trying to put together a monument for one of my polygamous ancestors for the Utah State Capitol grounds and the thing is going to cost a bundle. (Around $100,000, but the lolz all come from rubbing Utah's polygamy into everyone's face yet again, so I'm firmly behind the project.) Anyway, Dr. Ritze is gonna be pissed his lovely monument is getting booted.

Expand full comment