295 Comments
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Doktor Zoom's avatar

Oopsies, Robyn's post for National Sea Monkeys Day missed its scheduled 10 AM slot but you will still get your usual Saturday Robyn firstpost at 3 PM EDT, it'll just be last. And I have a thing for in-between, too. (it's a freeze-dried news story, just add distilled water)

OneYieldRegular's avatar

I hope Robyn will affirm that Sea Monkeys were the most disappointing of '60's/'70's children's playthings. Well, maybe Rocket Pops, but those were just murderous, not disappointing.

Now Magic Rocks, on the other hand,..

Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

Boss goes to Hawaii, everyone hits the substance of their choice early cause WEEKEND!!!!

Chaos ensues!

Ward From Cali's avatar

Ugh. "Just add distilled water." Dok's gonna brag about his EV again.

TheHeroOfCanton's avatar

Don't they prefer the term 'brine shrimp'?

Bagels of Doom's avatar

It's nice to have grownups in charge.

MrEes's avatar

Do I just pour the water on my phone, or do I save the story file and water that?

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

See what happens when the boss lady is out-of-town?

irish379's avatar

shh, don't tell mom

Tetman Callis's avatar

"(it's a freeze-dried news story, just add distilled water)"

Will rum work?

MrEes's avatar

Sounds like a capital idea.

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

Sea Monkey(tm) pic header for a Saturday > Anything from the current news . . .

freakishlystrong's avatar

I can't wait for the Sea Monkey Day story, who fucking knew there was such a day?

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

I remember an old ad in an old Marvel comic book for Sea Monkeys and thought it was about the corporate infused teen band the Monkees. I wanted to impress a tween crush at my school by owning something adjacent to the band so I sent the money order and waited. Six weeks later I was crushed to find out there wasn't no Monkee cachet in the Sea Monkeys, only a hard learned lesson on reading all the fine print. And my other crush sailed away with the captain of the basketball team on the sea of teen angst.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Sea Monkeys know. The Sea Monkeys know this is their day.

John the Retired Mailman's avatar

Not Sea People...?

Marlon Again's avatar

Suitable for everyday use, that story?

eppe's avatar
1hEdited

The Sea Monkey fans will be going over Robyn's copy with a fine-toothed comb.

Marlon Again's avatar

Comb? Interesting notion otherwise....

Suzie Greenburg's avatar

Sea Monkeys for everyone!

EyeQueue's avatar

Spoiler: They suck! They don't do tricks. They don't have little crowns on their heads, either.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

I had some as a kid, they were delicious.

EyeQueue's avatar

Shrimp sampler! XD XD XD XD

Wowdad's avatar

Those little bastards. I think you're entitled to damages! Does ten billion dollars seem about right?

EyeQueue's avatar

For me, $100,000 would do it. I'm not greedy, after all. XD XD XD

Marlon Again's avatar

Or we'll take a 1.6 Bn shakedown, yer cherce.

Suzie Greenburg's avatar

Lol. Barrel of Monkeys they are not!

John the Retired Mailman's avatar

I remember Barrel of Monkeys!!!

Assigned Cute at Birth's avatar

Imagine that, some professional opinion haver doesn't like kids getting diapers. I bet this mental giant -- this great and luminous being amongst us all -- also complains about the birthrate.

Parakeetist's avatar

OT:

Budgie has made her first cup of morning tea.

It is now afternoon where Birb lives.

Despite having had a generous bit of oatmilk poured into it, thees T is absolutely no colder.

In fact, it still seems to be scalding my beek.

Marlon Again's avatar

I would love to know where the hed image came from. She looks pretty determined to whack somebody with that bat....

Parakeetist's avatar

That's a proper apartment fight. Used to happen all the time back in En Why Cee.

Linda1961 is proudly woke's avatar

Why the fuck didn't CBS News save money by keeping Pretty Boy Tony in NYC once they realized he didn't have what it takes to make it to Beijing? Reporting from his regular anchor's desk wouldn't be any worse than reporting from Taiwan. In fact, it would not only have saved them money, but would be less pathetic.

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

In fact, people would have probably just said, "That was stupid of them to forget the visa," and then forgot about it.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

These morons actually believe that we're going to budget-cut our way to prosperity, one diaper at a time.

Innocent_Bystander's avatar

Every jackass on WaPo's editorial board should receive 400 *used* diapers - every week, deposited on their respective doorsteps. Wannabe Nazi Muppets.

Oy!'s avatar

One of the people on that 'Make It Make Sense' thing is Carine Hajjar. She started out at the Boston Globe and I corresponded with her a bit after she spewed some particularly Jonathan Turley-esque bullshit in an op-ed. She's a right wing attack dog and it won't surprise me if she ends up spewing for Fox (if she isn't already).

And not sure what the fuck the Boston Globe is doing. More and more they are posting BS from hard right assholes and taking silly potshots at Democrats and Progressives.

clare gabriel's avatar

WTF? A bit of a diaper assist to newbirn???

THAT is a budget buster?

Not the $8000 daily fee for a bed? THATS not unacceptable?

Or the $20 for an 8oz water?

Thats okay?

Vapid outrage numbs good sense.

Marlon Again's avatar

It's certainly a challenge to not go numb.

Hollysdower is under-pupped's avatar

I wonder how this went down. Did Tony fly all the way to China, just to be thrown out, or did they realize at the last minute, and put him on a flight to Taiwan?

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

It'd have been funny if he had to run from Chinese ICE.

schmannity's avatar

There's about 23 hours of extra non-print news programming every day.

Anarchy Pony's avatar

Tony Dookiepill? Do I have that right?!

schmannity's avatar

Sponsored by Ex-Lax

josephebacon's avatar

Just waiting for SEE B.S. to do wall to wall coverage of tomorrow's Jesuspalooza in DC with every Reich-Wing Xtian Nationalist hitting the stage for Jay-Zuss.

Bari Weiss will expect all of Murka to stand in front of their TV Sets as You Know Who warbles "Gawd Bless The You-Ess-AAAYYY"!

OneYieldRegular's avatar

"He’d be boosting prosperity and opportunity."

We've had boosterism in this country almost since its founding, and people STILL can't afford diapers, gas, housing, groceries, or even a subscription to drivel like this.

Marlon Again's avatar

George F. Babbitt has entered the chat.

OneYieldRegular's avatar

Exactly who I had in mind.

Baconzgood's avatar

OT.

Dear every plant I have ever bought or was given, or grew near me (including even in even crab grass and dandelions),

I am truly sorry. I try and try and try to keep you alive. I do every thing the instructions say. I talk to you. I nurture you. I religiously prune your leafs. I water you.

I have come to accept I am the Turkish prison warden of botany. If you come to me you will die in 2 years. Be warned.

Sincerely,

Baconz.

Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

Two years is nothing to sneeze at.

EyeQueue's avatar
4mEdited

I love on my plants.

I stroke my sunflowers' leaves and talk to them and kiss the newly unfurling leaves of my little beanies.

Maybe try that.

ETA: I missed above that you said you talk to them. So try loving on them and stroking them and kissing their leaves and petals.

Baconzgood's avatar

I have. But they still die. In fact I had a cactus once I think committed sucide. I saw it pouring salt on itself when it thought I was in the other room.

Bear is Under-Cubbed's avatar

"The Turkish prison warden of botany". You may have had poor luck with plants, but Lord, can you nurture a turn of phrase.

Baconzgood's avatar

I WAS going to say "my house is the Treblinka of plant life"

But that is tacky (although true)

Parakeetist's avatar

Also to The Plants,

Baconz tries his hardest.

He loves Uue. :)

Bear is Under-Cubbed's avatar

>>now charged with taking care of a squalling poop machine that needs nearly round-the-clock attention

...but enough about the Secret Service!