Once You Do This With Your Ravioli, You'll Never Go Back! Tabs, Thurs., Dec. 28, 2023

Now now, clickbait, that's nasty. No link! Morning news roundup!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

It’s upsetting to see people in red states blame the Democratic president for their shitty poverty-stricken lives when their red state governors literally refuse to distribute all the financial help their state’s been awarded (see: Montana, all of them) — plus just the red states’ supply side fiscal mismanagement in general beyond all that. But yes, it’s entirely possible Old Joe loses Georgia this year; young Black people feel taken for granted by the Democratic Party — and often are! — and nobody’s really pointing out like “Joe Biden awarded billions in relief to Black farmers and then the courts were like NAH LOL RACIST.” (Now there’s another $2 billion in relief for Black farmers, and considering this entire op-ed is set in rural Georgia, Joe’s campaign should PROBABLY try to talk about it above a whisper, or even at all.) Plus I’m pretty sure Gov. Brian Kemp has managed to throw some extra folks off the voter rolls. — Gift link New York Times

Big sigh, but here once again is Simon Rosenberg’s presentation for your bookmarking needs, With Democrats Things Get Better. (Hopium Chronicles)

No, I don’t think we’ll be leaving Substack because it hosts (and more importantly monetizes) Actual Nazis. (Techdirt splainer) Here’s Radley Balko on why he’s staying — for now — mostly boiling down to pragmatic reasons and that no matter where you go, they too might end up letting on the Nazis. Same for us, with the added wrinkle that Wonkette isn’t just a newsletter that can move to another newsletter host, but we’re an actual website with twenty years of archives (it’s true! TWENTY! next week! I just realized!) and last time we tried to leave our platform it literally took four years of trying to get our site rebuilt, when Substack finally came and did it for us gratis in a few months. (Radley Balko) But AR Moxon is absolutely right here about the owners’ ridiculously incorrect pablum about the “marketplace of ideas” and “sunshine is the best disinfectant” and all the dishonest rest. (The Reframe)

Michigan’s pro-voter agenda. Killing it, Michigan! — Bolts mag

Integration, the suburbs, American politics, and Detroit! I am going to read this eventually! (Politico mag)

We’ve been over this before, but one reason (beyond what you’d expect like “lack of access to health care” or “maternity deserts”) for the hideous rates of maternal mortality among Black women is simply the stress of everyday racism “weathering” them, literally damaging their telomeres. This also goes for Black people dying all the time at too young. The New Yorker on the academic who has been shouting about it for 40 years — and the people who called her “perverse.”

Arlington National Cemetery has a Confederate memorial? “Nah son, fuck that.” — The Pentagon. Meanwhile, Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin will fight the Pentagon to the death for the honor of a bunch of fuckin traitors. (MSNBC)

I KNEW the term “private equity” would come up in this story, everybody now has to give me five dollars. Online retailer Zulily goes kabloolilie. — AP

George Santos is mad an upcoming HBO biopic is “fucking fiction,” but I do believe that’s rather the point. (Screen Geek)

So what is the purpose of trying to get on the ballot in seven (7) states, do you suppose? That does not seem like enough to be president, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.? — Politico

Well, Gypsy Rose Blanchard is getting out of prison early after killing her mother who forced her through unnecessary surgeries for fake illnesses her whole life. Good luck, poor thing. — People

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Hey hey, don’t forget the Detroit Wonkin’ New Year’s Brunch, Mon., Jan. 1, noon-3 p.m.! Email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com for our address, NO MURDERIN’!