One Billion Militia Patriots To March On Washington, End Reign Of Kenyan Usurper

Oh my God, you guys, get ready to pack up your sex toys and hobo beans and flee to the Mexican refugee camps, because Real America™ has had ENOUGH with this Marxo-Islamunist bull hockey in Washington, and is coming for your SOULLSSSS. 

Girt in the armor of righteousness, but not carrying the AR-15 of the Lord , an estimated* 10 to 30 million nonviolent supporters of Bible-based Constitutional government plan to descend on the nation's capital on May 16, and hang around until Barack Hussein Obama, Eric Holder, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and the worst RINOs in Congress quit out of embarrassment. Then, as called for in organizer Harry Riley's understanding of the Constitution , a new President and congressional leadership will Take America Back to, we dunno, 2008? Some time when the president didn't go around ordering the IRS to hire New Black Panthers to kill our ambassadors at the behest of Vladimir Putin, whenever that was.

An official spokeswoman for " Operation American Spring " (geddit, like the Arab Spring without Islamofascism?) tells Mother Jones that organizers don't really know how many people will show up, but they have contact with, like, 1.8 million organized militia members, and THEY'RE all certain to be there. The rest of the millions will come from retired military and law enforcement types, tea partiers, and plain old patriots. Gotta be 10-20 million of those with nothing better to do in May.

While they will miss the cherry blossoms, the movement won't fail for lack of clear goals and inspiring messages. Riley, a retired Army colonel, says on his official website that it's now or never to git 'er dun. By June, Obama will have destroyed the nation utterly, and the thought of that is enough to drive a fella to spout gibberish about fluffy lambs with flea infestations. No, we can't summarize what he says better than that. Here (ellipses in the original):

.....the law of nature rules. A fluffy, cuddly lamb gets eaten by a mean old wolf is not an illegal or immoral event...the law of nature. When some greedy, self-serving occupant of the White House or Congress, or elements outside America, is threatening our existence, our freedom, our liberty, our Constitution, our life resources, our America, then we fight back to destroy the threat and there is nothing immoral or illegal about it.

Blah, blah, something about corrupt government. Then there's more animal stuff:

A duck cannot be turned into a fox; an elephant cannot be turned into a flea; the laws of nature will not permit. Likewise, a nation ordained and principled by the laws of nature, sovereign, free, with liberty for all cannot naturally become a nation guided by royalty, decrees, tyranny, elitist, self-serving criminals.

Some Lincoln quote about royalty and God, and then the ultimate, all-embracing truth:

The United States of America (elephant) while embracing the "LIE" is teetering on the abyss of becoming a sniveling, blood sucking, undesirable nation (flea). OPERATION AMERICAN SPRING will be a gigantic step in removing the flea infestation that is sucking the blood out of America.

BOOM! If An Appeal To Pest Control doesn't bring millions of protesters to Lafayette Park, we don't know what will. Yes we do, this music video!

OK, sure, Major Major, you're probably saying to your Internet right now, but we have heard before about mass movements to depose Obama, and they were just big crock teases. The previous attempt at mobilizing a million veterans drew a few hundred, who were just there to see the memorials . The Million Truckers Ride For The Constitution turned out to be 30 truckers led by a crazy lady . And even friend of Wonket Larry Klayman failed to force Obama to come out with his hands up last November, despite a protest group numbering in the high tens!

Fine, keep your heads in the sand. We are hoarding sunscreen and brushing up our Spanish. See you all in los campos de refugiados! 

*Estimates may not reflect actual results. According to the Anti-Defamation League, there are about 20,000 active militia members in the U.S., which, Jesus, seems like too many.

[ MotherJones ]