Monica Cole (and the other 999,999 moms who live in her head) is once again very upset about a corporation or entity acknowledging the existence of people she doesn’t like. What is it this time? It’s the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, which her precious, precious son will not be able to watch this year due to the “LGBTQ+ agenda” present in some Broadway shows.
I know, I’m as shocked as you are.
The letter opens with this image of Harvey Fierstein dressed up as Mrs. Santa Claus, although I am choosing to believe that Monica Cole did not know that and just thought it was a picture of a woman expressing the exact anguish she feels over the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
She writes:
The non-binary and transgender extravaganza on display this Thanksgiving will be brought to you by Macy’s during their annually sponsored Thanksgiving Day Parade. Unless they are forewarned about it, this year’s holiday parade will potentially expose tens of millions of viewers at home to the liberal LGBTQ agenda.
First of all, non-binary and transgender extravaganza sounds like a fantastic time and a party I would hope to be invited to.
Second, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade has featured Broadway shows since 1969, when the parade featured a performance from the very short-lived musical Jimmy, about Jimmy Walker, the notoriously corrupt 1920s-era New York City mayor. There are always Broadway shows now, most of which would not please Monica Cole.
It’s not like we’re in Rodgers and Hammerstein times anymore. Although …
The One Million Monicas continue:
Performances showcased in the parade will include music from two Broadway musicals, & Juliet and Shucked, both of which feature transgender and non-binary performers in major roles.
People in musicals eschewing traditional gender roles? Get out of here!
This is just very, very shocking, particularly if one has never seen or heard of Rent, La Cage Aux Folles, Victor/Victoria, Kinky Boots, Hairspray, Chicago (reporter Mary Sunshine is traditionally played by a man in drag, thus the controversy over Christine Baranski playing her in the movie), Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Rocky Horror Picture Show or the production of Sondheim’s Company I went to literally a week ago.
Justin David Sullivan, who personally identifies as non-binary, will be featured in the & Juliet parade performance. On stage in the musical, Sullivan plays the role of “May,” a non-binary friend of Juliet.
This year, Sullivan declined eligibility for the Tony Awards, saying traditional acting categories need to be reconsidered to become more “inclusive” of gender non-conforming actors.
& Juliet is a jukebox musical that asks the question “What if Juliet didn’t kill herself, and instead went on a road trip with her 1990s/2000s pop-hit singing friends? What then?” I haven’t seen it but the soundtrack is a jam, featuring the music of Swedish songwriter Max Martin, who wrote like, half of all the Britney, Backstreet Boys, *NSync, Katy Perry hits we didn’t realize we knew all of the words to.
While it probably won’t happen because it’s not a main song, I now very much want the show to respond to this by showcasing Sullivan’s I Kissed A Girl duet. (Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman would also be ideal but there’s not a full video)
So cute!
Alex Newell, a biological male who also identifies as non-binary, won a Tony Award this year for his starring performance in Shucked, playing the female role of Lulu.
Newell, who uses all pronouns (he/she/they), has worn women’s clothes in recent public appearances and dressed in a shimmering, gold ball gown for the Tonys.
The real bummer about being a bigot is that you have to miss out on what is, undeniably, one of the greatest singing voices of our time. I’ve loved Alex Newell since Glee (shut up) and it would sure suck to not be able to enjoy their voice due to being a huge douchebag!
That whistle register!
Thanksgiving Day, this liberal nonsense will be broadcast live from New York on NBC, starting at 8:30 a.m. Eastern.
This isn’t the first time the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade featured gender non-conforming performers. In 2021, transgender pop star Kim Petras performed during the parade, becoming the first transgender celebrity to perform during this once family-friendly holiday tradition.
Shame on Macy’s for promoting and sponsoring this type of entertainment. We still cannot trust Macy’s Dept. Store. It is clear that Macy’s does not have our children’s best interests in mind. Macy’s needs to know that trust must be earned, and once trust is lost, it is difficult to get back.
It’s true, Monica, no one gives a shit about your dumb kid that you think is never gonna find out LGBTQ+ people exist, despite the fact that you have dedicated your whole entire life to crying about it.
This includes Macy’s, because why would they want their stores filled with a bunch of sartorially daft Helen Lovejoys going around throwing sheets over any bikini-clad mannequins or being shitty to any employees they suspect might be gay or trans or that doesn’t wish them a Merry Christmas. Hardest of passes all around!
Surely, Monica Cole will find some other way to entertain herself this year … unless the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is too woke for her now that they let the non-purebreds in.
Gay people???? ON BROADWAY!?!?!?!??! This has never ever never happened ever before.
Dear Monica,
Don't like the Macy's parade? DON'T FUCKING WATCH IT. I'm sure there are plenty of joyless TV shows airing on the Jesus Wept channel (Kirk Cameron biopic maybe? A Very Special Episode of 19 Kids and Counting featuring Josh Duggar's third sister wife once removed?). Knock yourself out, bitch. Just leave the rest of the sensible happy fun-loving world ALONE.