Sure we believe it! Here is another story of Dr. Ben Carson, world-famous neurosurgeon and egyptologist and attempted murderer and double-barreled brain-totin' badass robber-beater-upper. And we definitely believe it, because it is coming direct from the mouth of one Mrs. Candy Carson,
So, did he look down and see a 10 spot, or did the carjackers give him $10 in apology? Carson's adventures always end with him having a couple of extra fivers.
One informed commenter said that they probably tried some minor enhancement to a fission bomb, like adding a little Hydrogen or Deuterium to the mix (doesn't help, it makes a fizzle, the USA found this out in 1952), by the time the description got up to Fearless Leader, it had telephoned into "Hydrogen bomb". And the NK press agency wasn't going to contradict that.
So, we've got a brain surgeon in a jaguar who stops for gas in a sketchy part of town and leave the keys in the ignition when he goes in to pay for the gas. Right.
I am on the edge of my seat waiting for his next story about hanging on the side of an airplane as it's taking off in order to get inside to stop terrorists from delivering a nuclear device.
So this one time, me and Ben? We were chllin' at this Olive Garden organization, and Ben was all, dude, I totally want to go score some crack right now. And I was all, naw mang, that wouldn't be cool, and we'd have to go to not the greatest neighborhood. And he was like, yo dog, I'm Ben fucking Carson, I'm all famous and there's a picture of me with Jesus and shit. So we went down there and these thugs jumped us, but Ben man, he fucked up those dudes bad. Afterward, they were all like, yo, sorry bro, we didn't realize it was you, and then he gave them his autograph and shit. It was hella cool. True story.
Oh sure Wonkette, always going to the dirtiest possible explanation for anything. Maybe he was just praying nekkid with that hot young nurse to teach her about a life of abstinence until marriage. I mean this man has showered with Jesus, why he's got a pic of the afterglow and everything....dirty sex in some cheap motel with some hot young thing, pfft.
This is literally the funniest thing I've read all day.
I've never understood why he didn't form wheels on the ends of his arms and legs. He didn't need a motorcycle; he could BECOME a motorcycle.
Chris Christie? Oh wait, you said running for President. I missed the 'for President' part.
So, did he look down and see a 10 spot, or did the carjackers give him $10 in apology? Carson's adventures always end with him having a couple of extra fivers.
One informed commenter said that they probably tried some minor enhancement to a fission bomb, like adding a little Hydrogen or Deuterium to the mix (doesn't help, it makes a fizzle, the USA found this out in 1952), by the time the description got up to Fearless Leader, it had telephoned into "Hydrogen bomb". And the NK press agency wasn't going to contradict that.
So, we've got a brain surgeon in a jaguar who stops for gas in a sketchy part of town and leave the keys in the ignition when he goes in to pay for the gas. Right.
Yeah, but singing the National Anthem at all of Ben's campaign events is going to get him elected. You watch.
I am on the edge of my seat waiting for his next story about hanging on the side of an airplane as it's taking off in order to get inside to stop terrorists from delivering a nuclear device.
An impossible mission? I think not.
Grifted Hands
A jaguar is a freshing change from that chicken.
Dr Ben is so bad ass he gets a Christmas card every year from Chuck Norris. Or else!
So this one time, me and Ben? We were chllin' at this Olive Garden organization, and Ben was all, dude, I totally want to go score some crack right now. And I was all, naw mang, that wouldn't be cool, and we'd have to go to not the greatest neighborhood. And he was like, yo dog, I'm Ben fucking Carson, I'm all famous and there's a picture of me with Jesus and shit. So we went down there and these thugs jumped us, but Ben man, he fucked up those dudes bad. Afterward, they were all like, yo, sorry bro, we didn't realize it was you, and then he gave them his autograph and shit. It was hella cool. True story.
Has he ever taught a dog to smoke? That's what I want to know.
We may have stumbled on to the New Holy Trinity: Ben Carson, Bill Brasky, Buckaroo Banzai and Chuck Norris.
Oh sure Wonkette, always going to the dirtiest possible explanation for anything. Maybe he was just praying nekkid with that hot young nurse to teach her about a life of abstinence until marriage. I mean this man has showered with Jesus, why he's got a pic of the afterglow and everything....dirty sex in some cheap motel with some hot young thing, pfft.
Ben Carson loved his Jaguar because it could hold A LOT of grain in its trunk covering the dead bodies, just like with the pyramids!