151 Comments
User's avatar
Lefty Mark's avatar

I tried to get in but the place was mobbed. Wow, talk about needing some living space. There was a near riot outside on the rope line. Security kept yelling at everyone to "Stop putsching!"

DrShitferbrains's avatar

ALL YOUR MONEY ARE BELONG TO US

Gristle McThornbody's avatar

“Reparations for unnatural lifestyle, that can’t even propagate to survive??”

Sit down, honey, and let Auntie Gristle explain where gay babies come from.

A lady (the "natural" kind of lady who only likes sex with men, and then only to make babies), has a vagina. We'll call this Mortise A.

A man (the "natural" kind of man who only likes sex with ladies, all the time, anywhere, any way) has a penis. We'll call this Tenon B.

The lady lays down and the man gets on top of her (THIS IS THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE WAY FOR THEM TO BE POSITIONED) and he inserts his Tenon B into her Mortise A.

Nine months later there may be a baby born! Some of the babies will, in fact, turn out to be born gay! Two gay ladies can't make gay babies. Two gay men can't make gay babies. But, and this is the beautiful part, as long as "natural" men and women keep making babies there will always be more gay babies being born :)

tegrat's avatar

I believe the correct term is "gay reparay", just sayin'. Expect a line on your 1040 next year.

Beowoof14's avatar

There is a whole industry of made up shit to worry about anymore. With no one worrying about anything that might actually happen like global warming. I am sure there are republicans who would sing a different tune if their home in the Marshall Islands was being swallowed by the rising seas.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

Now, if only there were reparations for being forced to listen to stupid right-wing bullshit...

mailman27's avatar

Also known as "puttin' the wood to her."

Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

If you have any further gender questions, you should ask his beard. (Not pictured here)

docterry6973's avatar

We almost had a tornado in my town today. Thanks, sodomites.

mailman27's avatar

Three things-Walmarts, tunnels and FEMA camps.

Misty Malarky Ying Yang's avatar

Some mean boys called me a 'sissy' in the 6th grade.

I WANT MY TWO HUNNERT DOLLARS!

Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

"It all depends on how many taps, now doesn't it?"

--Larry "SuperTuber" Craig

Ωbjectifier's avatar

Mortise and tenon eh? So lesbians use tounge in groove?I'll just see myself out.

Lady Bug's avatar

That header pic is a clear forgery! Hitler would have pinched, not used rouge!

AlanInSF's avatar

I'm betting the "national reporter" was Award-Winning Journalist Chuck C. Johnson