Open Up Your Wallet, Sucker. Wonkette Just Broke Your Browser For The Very Last Time.
Imagine a world where you don't have to email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com to tell me you can't read Wonkette's latest vicious snarlings because we done broke your browser (again). Imagine a world of Internet SO FAST, and also free of all the boob ads, which for some reason make you sad. (They are BOOBS. I thought you liked boobs!) Imagine that this can be yours for either $4.99, $9.99, $24.99, or $99.99 per month, none of which offers any more than the others. Imagine that you, too, are married to my husband, and he made this just for you. His name is Shypixel, and he wants you to be happy.
Well, it is ALL TRUE, my Terrible Ones, except for the part where you are married to my husband. But you still reap (some of!) the benefits!
Perhaps you would like to buy a subscription for someone you love! YOU CAN DO THAT! IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!
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You seem to have screwed the pooch.Your redesigned site is so much cleaner that even without paying baksheesh it no longer breaks my browser *and* I keep my boob ads!
Yep, I upgraded to Gold. Less than a buck a day, I read Wonkette more frequently than I ever read any newspaper, so it's a bargoon for me. CONTENT CREATORS NEED TO GET PAID, YO