Normally we don't like to get too into campaign finance and disclosure scandals because we are just not that kind of Wonkblog. We're the other kind. The one with dick jokes. But we'll make an exception for a scandal that involves Texas Rep. Steve Stockman because Steve Stockman. The problem is, doing this requires understanding what the hell happened, and that is a thing that may never occur. Even absent a thorough understanding of the issues, we have no reason to disbelieve that Steve Stockman was behaving in a shenanigan-y/illegal sort of way because, of course, Steve Stockman. Stick with us while we try to figure this out.
You know how, sometimes, the only comment you can think of is "Christ, what an asshole"? And then another part of your brain fires up and says, "Nah, that's too obvious"?
Hmmm. If I was getting paid that kind of salary, the $7500 would represent my "hookers and blow" money. I could use some of the rest to buy up half of my town while still having enough for a comfortable life here. It might be nice to experience life as a member of the 1%.
<i>I asked both to return to employment in my office, and both agreed. I then appointed both men to their positions at their previous salaries</i>
&quot;One staffer made $60K/year and the other $50K/year but somehow they were able to cut checks for $7,500 to Steve Stockman like nobody&rsquo;s business.&quot;
Oh, come on. That can be explained away so easily. They just decided they didn&#039;t need to eat for the rest of the year.
At one place I worked we were all solicited to pitch in $5 to buy the big boss a Christmas present--I was making $6/hr. We called it the &quot;employment tax.&quot; Betcha Stockman&#039;s faithful servants felt about the same way.
Can&#039;t this douche bag get himself on the right sort of committee where the lobbyists just shovel money into your reelection fund?
If I&#039;m making 50-60 big ones and Aunt Ruth wants to give my boss a cash gift, Imma ask her to knit him a sweater instead and show my retirement fund some love.
&quot;Look, there&#039;s no damn way you people can prove we laundered money, on account of how good a job I did laundering it.&quot;
It&#039;s the classic Tom DeLay defense, and I expect Rep Stockman to get a massive raise and a think tank to call his own as soon as the courts realize he&#039;s right.
There is no good Laffer.
You know how, sometimes, the only comment you can think of is &quot;Christ, what an asshole&quot;? And then another part of your brain fires up and says, &quot;Nah, that&#039;s too obvious&quot;?
Hmmm. If I was getting paid that kind of salary, the $7500 would represent my &quot;hookers and blow&quot; money. I could use some of the rest to buy up half of my town while still having enough for a comfortable life here. It might be nice to experience life as a member of the 1%.
Damn right. Even with that kind of income you can&#039;t be foolish.
Some people just have a knack for multitasking.
<i>[cue: smoke and mirrors]</i>
He&#039;s got too much respect for tradition.
<i>I asked both to return to employment in my office, and both agreed. I then appointed both men to their positions at their previous salaries</i>
He&rsquo;s just fucking with us now, right?
&quot;One staffer made $60K/year and the other $50K/year but somehow they were able to cut checks for $7,500 to Steve Stockman like nobody&rsquo;s business.&quot;
Oh, come on. That can be explained away so easily. They just decided they didn&#039;t need to eat for the rest of the year.
Wait! So he&#039;s a dick <em>and </em>a grifter? So much for him being just a one-trick pony.
I thought you meant David Stockman. I had a good Laffer.
At one place I worked we were all solicited to pitch in $5 to buy the big boss a Christmas present--I was making $6/hr. We called it the &quot;employment tax.&quot; Betcha Stockman&#039;s faithful servants felt about the same way.
Can&#039;t this douche bag get himself on the right sort of committee where the lobbyists just shovel money into your reelection fund?
If I&#039;m making 50-60 big ones and Aunt Ruth wants to give my boss a cash gift, Imma ask her to knit him a sweater instead and show my retirement fund some love.
switched to Obama phones too
&quot;Look, there&#039;s no damn way you people can prove we laundered money, on account of how good a job I did laundering it.&quot;
It&#039;s the classic Tom DeLay defense, and I expect Rep Stockman to get a massive raise and a think tank to call his own as soon as the courts realize he&#039;s right.