What on Earth did I click on? From letting us all know that Nate Paul is Indian-American (OK, I didn't know, but who cares?) to saying "obviously there was no affair" (how do they know?) and naming the alleged adulteress (I don't think she was named in news accounts) that article was like a fever dream. Oh, and then I noticed the Christian part of the newsletter, and I guess that explains it all...
Yes. Changed name from Danny Goeb to Dan Patrick. Came to Texas a number of years ago. Got his start selling class rings. Went bankrupt a few times. Was a sportscaster with a Houston TV station (he is not the same person as the commentator on ESPN). Owned a sports bar. Bought a radio station. Was a talking head on it. Used it to launch political career. Served in state senate, then ran against sitting lieutenant governor David Dewhurst (who was fairly normal).
Once on a busy day at the Bronx Zoo, lots of people were observing the chimps. One shit into his hand. Many people went ewwww, I started backing up. He winged it into the crowd with good velocity and form. I was un-beshited but not all were so lucky. Never trust a chimp with shit in his hand.
Clearly the higher your public service profile in Texas, the less competent your grasp of the English language becomes, until it finally becomes completely incomprehensible.
That was one of the tactics in Ministry For the Future. They set a value on a set amount of carbon sequestered, which let them put a value on all the oil reserves in the ground. Pay the owner of that oil that value not to pump it. At the same time, they enacted onerous taxes on pumping. Leave it in the ground, we pay you. Bring it up, you pay us.
Yeah. We are a sad sight. I talk to every sensible person I know about the need to vote. Lately I've been able to point out that Republicans want to take away the right to vote from kids 18-25. I tell them the fuckers are scared of them and beg them to prove they were right to be scared. That actually seems to be getting a little traction with them.
Forget it, Jake. It’s the Texas Democratic Party. Completely inept. Their chairperson keeps getting re-elected. Nothing changes. He keeps bringing in outside consultants - often from Democratic Party strongholds like Ohio (just fucking kill me).
OT: I'm suddenly happy that ex-Boytender's and my schedules are so opposite. He can stay here until he finds a place, but this is going to be complicated and annoying.
I was with a friend seated on a walker in front of a floor-to-ceiling window looking out into a grizzly bear enclosure. He looked up at us, came at us at a run, and slammed into the glass trying to get to my friend.
Visited the Jakarta zoo some years ago. They let me in the cage with a huge female orangutan and her two babies. The babies untied my shoes and climbed up into my arms for a cuddle. Absolutely solid muscle. Absolute fun.
I was in the SF zoo just over a decade back and watching the polar bar shamble from one end of his enclosure to the other with this weird head tic thing.
"He's dancing!" cries a delighted small child.
I kept it to myself, but that poor bear had been driven fucking insane by solitude and cramped conditions. I've not been back since.
I was not any fun to take to the zoo. My parents took us all to the Portland zoo when I was about eight years old and after seeing animals that looked bored, disengaged, or what appeared to me to be very sad chimpanzees I dissolved into tears and begged my father to make the zoo send those animals back to their "homes".
That was the last time anyone tried to take me to the zoo.
Apes are something else. You just don't go to the zoo and look at the chimpanzees, they look back at you. I think they get depressed because too many people visit the zoo and act like assholes to them. They are smart enough to figure it out.
Can't remember where, but I did see someone do a basic sleight of hand trick for an orangutan at a zoo, and it was very impressed by it. The orangutan went from being bored to having a bit of fun, and it was one of those little things that gave me a bit of hope for humanity.
The Philadelphia Zoo decided to put in raised pathways so animals like tigers could wander around various areas of the zoo. They like to sit above the pedestrian paths, plotting our deaths, no doubt.
I don't recall going to one, though I know I did, as there's photo of me at age 6 or something standing next to a polar bear cage at some zoo in Florida, then lots of photos of me wearing a kind of polar bear cape that after the zoo trip apparently became my favorite piece of apparel EVER.
Don't know if it qualifies as a weird zoo experience, but last time I went to a zoo I specifically remember the birds making a huge ruckus. They had a good collection of macaws, toucans, and parrots creating a choir of cacophony to the point where a woman had to drag her toddler out of there because the noise was making the toddler cry.
Also at the Houston zoo, you can feed the giraffes, and you can see that they have these really weird purple tongues (wasn't from the food, they were eating lettuce) and they stick their tongues out a lot.
When I was very young, I visited a zoo. In that zoo there was a reptile house and in that reptile house, near the exit, was a frog. It was a frog that looked like an enormous, malevolent pancake.
I spent years having arguments that "pancake frog" was a real thing and not something I dreamed up while ripped to my tiny tits on E numbers.
I only discovered a few years ago that PF was in fact real and was most likely a particularly large, male African Bullfrog.
At the small Children's Zoo in Palo Alto there used to be a raccoon that changed his nocturnal ways to perch on a branch, and watch the children play, and people walk their dogs, in a nearby playground all day.
His caretakers said he loved kids, and was fascinated by them.
OT, but if there's a film title I could apply to our new downstairs neighbors and their colicky baby, it most certainly has to be "I Wake Up Screaming."
Deep inside the conservative psyche is a need to claim superiority over others. Absent of an external "threat" they will naturally turn on their own. It starts with name calling and progresses to aggressive hand gestures and chest thumping. Next is throwing the weaker opponent out of the group. If that isn't possible, physical altercations may ensue. Experiments conducted by the Department of Psychology at Tufts University have indicated that in late it's late stage, Conservative Psyche Syndrome can be fatal. In one unfortunate real life example, an attendee at CPAC was "accidentally" locked in a utility closet for several days. The subject beat himself to death with a mop handle.
Completist. What a wonderfully neutral term. Gym Jordan hates it.
https://katychristianmagazine.com/2023/06/09/impeachment-of-dade-phelan-absolutely-necessary-attorney-general-ken-paxtons-acquittal-hangs-in-the-balance/
well, I suppose there are always at least two sides to things...........
What on Earth did I click on? From letting us all know that Nate Paul is Indian-American (OK, I didn't know, but who cares?) to saying "obviously there was no affair" (how do they know?) and naming the alleged adulteress (I don't think she was named in news accounts) that article was like a fever dream. Oh, and then I noticed the Christian part of the newsletter, and I guess that explains it all...
*Let them fight gif*
https://www.reformaustin.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Fx84tbnX0AI5eC4-576x1024.jpeg
Laura Leigh Olsen, what in the world?
"Pardon me, madam, but would you have any silverback poopon?"
"Why no. All I have is this bag of greasy Paxton skins."
"Nevermind, then. I'll just go with the six-dollar hooker."
Fucking airport restaurants.
Eric's AV club experience is really paying off.
The Georgia RICO trial is also supposed to be televised, you gonna give us excerpts from that too?
This just in, Dan Patrick is an asshole.
Dan Patrick is perhaps the worst thing ever to come from Maryland.
What about Spiro Agnew?
He’s certainly is a strong contender.
He is from Maryland??
Yes. Changed name from Danny Goeb to Dan Patrick. Came to Texas a number of years ago. Got his start selling class rings. Went bankrupt a few times. Was a sportscaster with a Houston TV station (he is not the same person as the commentator on ESPN). Owned a sports bar. Bought a radio station. Was a talking head on it. Used it to launch political career. Served in state senate, then ran against sitting lieutenant governor David Dewhurst (who was fairly normal).
Sad for Texas - but glad for Maryland. Bad enough we had Dan Cox as the GOP nom for gov - but he lost badly
Once on a busy day at the Bronx Zoo, lots of people were observing the chimps. One shit into his hand. Many people went ewwww, I started backing up. He winged it into the crowd with good velocity and form. I was un-beshited but not all were so lucky. Never trust a chimp with shit in his hand.
Sounds like a good metaphor for the TX lege
can't they just wish him into the oilfield?
I get that reference although I never never watch that episode
One of the most spectacular horror stories ever told, to be sure.
Clearly the higher your public service profile in Texas, the less competent your grasp of the English language becomes, until it finally becomes completely incomprehensible.
Meh, it's like watching paint dry!
Is it?
10 hours of paint drying
https://youtu.be/PLOPygVcaVE?si=xGxJHFIv3LNUoYaA
Elsewhere in Abbotoir's Gilead, a Bitcoin miner held the busted-ass Texas power grid hostage and got a $31.7M payout in OUR tax dollars...
𝗧𝗲𝘅𝗮𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗯𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗥𝗶𝗼𝘁 $𝟯𝟭.𝟳 𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗱𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗔𝘂𝗴𝘂𝘀𝘁
https://www.cnbc.com/2023/09/06/texas-paid-bitcoin-miner-riot-31point7-million-to-shut-down-in-august.html
That was one of the tactics in Ministry For the Future. They set a value on a set amount of carbon sequestered, which let them put a value on all the oil reserves in the ground. Pay the owner of that oil that value not to pump it. At the same time, they enacted onerous taxes on pumping. Leave it in the ground, we pay you. Bring it up, you pay us.
There's money in that Bitcoin!
Since Texas has an impeachment trial already in progress, could they introduce the entire legislature as new defendants?
Fucking spineless cowards. I would have yanked the plug on his mining operation.
The TX GOP keeps handing Dems ammo. It's gonna be up to the Dems to use it.
Yeah. We are a sad sight. I talk to every sensible person I know about the need to vote. Lately I've been able to point out that Republicans want to take away the right to vote from kids 18-25. I tell them the fuckers are scared of them and beg them to prove they were right to be scared. That actually seems to be getting a little traction with them.
Forget it, Jake. It’s the Texas Democratic Party. Completely inept. Their chairperson keeps getting re-elected. Nothing changes. He keeps bringing in outside consultants - often from Democratic Party strongholds like Ohio (just fucking kill me).
Welcome to Florida!
I look at states like Michigan, and Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania, and Georgia, and Arizona. Then, I look at Texas and I just get sad.
I'm a native Floridian; my family has lived here for over 200 years. It's just heartbreaking...
Yup.
OT: I'm suddenly happy that ex-Boytender's and my schedules are so opposite. He can stay here until he finds a place, but this is going to be complicated and annoying.
Are you sure he's not a hobosexual?
No. He had a place in Florence. He got a place in Eugene before he moved in.
He'll find a place. I actually have a bunch of housing specialists that work in my agency.
I can send him listings.
I was just impulsive. Hey, no regrets. This was fun.
Wait just a minute here as well. Ex-boytender? I missed something. Ah well, I ain't gonna pry.
Oh no, it's fine. He just came to a drunken realization last night that he wants kids.
It's fine. I'm sad, because I was having fun and I liked him a lot, but it's not the end of the world.
Does he still want kids while sober?
I don't know. I went to work before he woke up.
He's only 30. This is obviously a thing. I knew it was going to end, but I was having fun and hoping it would last longer than this.
But, I don't want to get more emotionally invested at this point.
Wonketeers appear to be a demographic filled with weird zoo experiences.
The audubon Zoo in New Orleans is the only zoo I've been to that had -- I shit you not -- recipes on the cages.
That is possibly the most Louisiana thing I've ever heard in my life.
When I was a school kid, we went on a class field trip to the Detroit Zoo. We got to see two rhinos fuck. It left quite an impression
I was with a friend seated on a walker in front of a floor-to-ceiling window looking out into a grizzly bear enclosure. He looked up at us, came at us at a run, and slammed into the glass trying to get to my friend.
Visited the Jakarta zoo some years ago. They let me in the cage with a huge female orangutan and her two babies. The babies untied my shoes and climbed up into my arms for a cuddle. Absolutely solid muscle. Absolute fun.
They didn't tie your shoes together?
I was in the SF zoo just over a decade back and watching the polar bar shamble from one end of his enclosure to the other with this weird head tic thing.
"He's dancing!" cries a delighted small child.
I kept it to myself, but that poor bear had been driven fucking insane by solitude and cramped conditions. I've not been back since.
The whole topic of stereotypic behavior in animals is depressing beyond belief. Mental illness, self-mutilation. It is criminal.
The SF Zoo is dreadful and depressing. The only good part was when they fed the lions and they’ve stopped doing that for awhile now.
Now how are the lions going to learn about the Gospel?
I was not any fun to take to the zoo. My parents took us all to the Portland zoo when I was about eight years old and after seeing animals that looked bored, disengaged, or what appeared to me to be very sad chimpanzees I dissolved into tears and begged my father to make the zoo send those animals back to their "homes".
That was the last time anyone tried to take me to the zoo.
Apes are something else. You just don't go to the zoo and look at the chimpanzees, they look back at you. I think they get depressed because too many people visit the zoo and act like assholes to them. They are smart enough to figure it out.
Can't remember where, but I did see someone do a basic sleight of hand trick for an orangutan at a zoo, and it was very impressed by it. The orangutan went from being bored to having a bit of fun, and it was one of those little things that gave me a bit of hope for humanity.
I might consider going to a butterfly house, but nothing else.
The Philadelphia Zoo decided to put in raised pathways so animals like tigers could wander around various areas of the zoo. They like to sit above the pedestrian paths, plotting our deaths, no doubt.
I don't recall going to one, though I know I did, as there's photo of me at age 6 or something standing next to a polar bear cage at some zoo in Florida, then lots of photos of me wearing a kind of polar bear cape that after the zoo trip apparently became my favorite piece of apparel EVER.
Don't know if it qualifies as a weird zoo experience, but last time I went to a zoo I specifically remember the birds making a huge ruckus. They had a good collection of macaws, toucans, and parrots creating a choir of cacophony to the point where a woman had to drag her toddler out of there because the noise was making the toddler cry.
Also at the Houston zoo, you can feed the giraffes, and you can see that they have these really weird purple tongues (wasn't from the food, they were eating lettuce) and they stick their tongues out a lot.
The Philly Zoo had to take the aracaris out of the open exhibits in the bird house, because they kept trying to leave with zoo visitors.
Those giraffe tongues are also super long. This was taken in South Africa a few years ago. They are such sweet animals. https://substack.com/@oblivias/note/c-39707600?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2kpcon
Well, one summer, at zoo camp....
When I was very young, I visited a zoo. In that zoo there was a reptile house and in that reptile house, near the exit, was a frog. It was a frog that looked like an enormous, malevolent pancake.
I spent years having arguments that "pancake frog" was a real thing and not something I dreamed up while ripped to my tiny tits on E numbers.
I only discovered a few years ago that PF was in fact real and was most likely a particularly large, male African Bullfrog.
I went to the Tampa Zoo years ago. There were pygmy monkeys having a fight.
That was awesome.
So, CPAC without without the prayer breakfast...
At the small Children's Zoo in Palo Alto there used to be a raccoon that changed his nocturnal ways to perch on a branch, and watch the children play, and people walk their dogs, in a nearby playground all day.
His caretakers said he loved kids, and was fascinated by them.
Plus they scream like mf-ers..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3RjAh8PRTQ
"Raccoon-weasels"
OT, but if there's a film title I could apply to our new downstairs neighbors and their colicky baby, it most certainly has to be "I Wake Up Screaming."
Deep inside the conservative psyche is a need to claim superiority over others. Absent of an external "threat" they will naturally turn on their own. It starts with name calling and progresses to aggressive hand gestures and chest thumping. Next is throwing the weaker opponent out of the group. If that isn't possible, physical altercations may ensue. Experiments conducted by the Department of Psychology at Tufts University have indicated that in late it's late stage, Conservative Psyche Syndrome can be fatal. In one unfortunate real life example, an attendee at CPAC was "accidentally" locked in a utility closet for several days. The subject beat himself to death with a mop handle.
The mop handle knew he was cheating on himself.
And nothing of value was lost.