Pat Robertson, the guy you can't even call a delusional, militantly homophobic, fearmongering warrior of Satan because that description essentially understates the case by several orders of magnitude, has a small clarification to make about Jesus's stance on traditional marriage.
And the lord sayeth, "wave a balloon in front of thine wife's eyes. If the eyes doth follow, cleave only onto her. But, if the eyes follow not thou will setest up an account with AdultFriendFinder.com. Thou mayest get laid tonight"
It has been a while since we visited with Newt and Callista…
Callista: Newteekins what are you watching on TV? Newt: The 700 Club dear. Callista: That’s nice. Pat is such a great American. We need more like him. Newt: Yes we do. Do you remember that time where we were in the capital talking with David Vitter about how the concept of marriage has changed over the years? Callista: No, I don’t remember that at all. Newt: Memory is funny thing isn’t it dear? Could you do me a favor and look up the phone number of our lawyer for me. Callista: Of course Newty-poop, anything for you.
Didn't St Ronnie try that w/ all the other crazies?
!!!
win!!
Of course! But that principle doesn't work on actual current wife. I've decided it's best not to ask why.
Rohypnol is for lovers.
Like to see him walk on air.
W/ a noose around his neck.
If he did, he forgot. Mrs. Robertson is having the divorce papers written up as we speak.
Well done!
To be fair, Robertson did parse it with "if he’s going to do something."
A little like saying "If you're going to rape someone, at least wear a condom," but still.
May I quote you?
The next caller was Newt from Georgia, who wanted to know "What about cancer?"
Another caller, Donald from NYC wants to know "What if she turns 40?"
And the lord sayeth, "wave a balloon in front of thine wife's eyes. If the eyes doth follow, cleave only onto her. But, if the eyes follow not thou will setest up an account with AdultFriendFinder.com. Thou mayest get laid tonight"
Book of Sexytimes 3:12
(Edited for your pleasure)
It has been a while since we visited with Newt and Callista…
Callista: Newteekins what are you watching on TV? Newt: The 700 Club dear. Callista: That’s nice. Pat is such a great American. We need more like him. Newt: Yes we do. Do you remember that time where we were in the capital talking with David Vitter about how the concept of marriage has changed over the years? Callista: No, I don’t remember that at all. Newt: Memory is funny thing isn’t it dear? Could you do me a favor and look up the phone number of our lawyer for me. Callista: Of course Newty-poop, anything for you.
This is good news for Pat Robertson's wife.
Do the new "until kind of death do us part" rules apply to cancer?
Of course marriage is one man plus one woman. Plus an extra woman if the first one is broken.