UH OH SHOTS FIRED! Grandpa Pat Robertson is real glad Kim Davis is standing up for Jesus Christ's true message, which is "PEEEEE-YEW! Notice how I never said Blessed Are The Icky Homos? They're the BEATITUDES, not the BE-FAG-ITUDES." (Exact quote from the book of John.) But -- and Pat's trying to be a gentleman about this -- the sad fact is that Davis is less than ideal as a messenger of God's divine wrath against the homosexuals, due to how she is ... well, you know ladies of A Certain Kind ... what
Someone needs to do a skit with all the bigots ending up before St.Pete and getting the snot kicked out of them before being shown the elevator downstairs.
Poor fellow been starving in front of the fridge, Prolly not knowing how to operate the gadgetry of toasters and microwaves, he can at long last get a sammich again.
The rapture would be fun to watch. Those ecstatic faces, eyes closed in wonder as they are drawn into the air. Higher and higher they float with all the skeevy perverts hogging the telescopes to see up-skirt snotty girls with the silver rings who totally negged them at school (unless you were unlucky and saw up Kim Davis' skirt instead).
Higher still they rise into the pure blue sky where the first signs of doubt appear as it seems rather cold and oxygen is in short supply - but God will take care of that soon and ,sure enough, the pace of the ascension increases and the sky darkens. The speed increases again so that it becomes a race between hypoxia and hypothermia. Some stay alive long enough to be puzzled as extremist Muslims, Jews and Hindu are being raptured with them. But the puzzlement does not last long as, like a flickering candle, their consciousness is snuffed out.
The rise of these bodies ceases and for a wondrous instant all is peace until they start to fall, a meteor storm of corpsicles burning up as shooting stars and scattering their nutrients across the globe. The sadness of those who remain is lightened as words of comfort are directly planted in their minds along with the admonition, "GET THE PLANET SORTED OUT THEN GET INTO SPACE AND START LEARNING."
The teachings of Jebus is only sensible if the world is coming to an immediate end. Give no thought for tomorrow, don`t tend your land, sell all your shit and give it away etc. His rantings were pretty much destructive for any one stupid enough to take heed of his words. I see no difference between the Jebus of the babble and Harold Camping.
The whole movie is fun, but that scene floors me every time. If someone out there hasn't seen Life of Brian yet, grab a copy. The Monty Python crew outdo themselves.
Fuck your mates sister, and fuck you too!
Is that a canoe in your pocket or a really bad case of elephantiasis?
Someone needs to do a skit with all the bigots ending up before St.Pete and getting the snot kicked out of them before being shown the elevator downstairs.
Poor fellow been starving in front of the fridge, Prolly not knowing how to operate the gadgetry of toasters and microwaves, he can at long last get a sammich again.
The rapture would be fun to watch. Those ecstatic faces, eyes closed in wonder as they are drawn into the air. Higher and higher they float with all the skeevy perverts hogging the telescopes to see up-skirt snotty girls with the silver rings who totally negged them at school (unless you were unlucky and saw up Kim Davis' skirt instead).
Higher still they rise into the pure blue sky where the first signs of doubt appear as it seems rather cold and oxygen is in short supply - but God will take care of that soon and ,sure enough, the pace of the ascension increases and the sky darkens. The speed increases again so that it becomes a race between hypoxia and hypothermia. Some stay alive long enough to be puzzled as extremist Muslims, Jews and Hindu are being raptured with them. But the puzzlement does not last long as, like a flickering candle, their consciousness is snuffed out.
The rise of these bodies ceases and for a wondrous instant all is peace until they start to fall, a meteor storm of corpsicles burning up as shooting stars and scattering their nutrients across the globe. The sadness of those who remain is lightened as words of comfort are directly planted in their minds along with the admonition, "GET THE PLANET SORTED OUT THEN GET INTO SPACE AND START LEARNING."
But ... but ... there is already a human presence on Mars. The CIA teleported Obama to their secret base on the Red Planet.
Misery also likes a sledgehammer and ankles.
Cue a song to the tune of "Volare, Cantare" by Dean Martin
"Bukake oh oh, Canned Turkey ohohohoh"
Only if you use a chasing saw
Yeah, even Jesus took the nails like a champ.
no one is to throw any stones until I say so, even i\f some one DO say Jehovah! Is that clear?!?!...Alright, who threw that?
The teachings of Jebus is only sensible if the world is coming to an immediate end. Give no thought for tomorrow, don`t tend your land, sell all your shit and give it away etc. His rantings were pretty much destructive for any one stupid enough to take heed of his words. I see no difference between the Jebus of the babble and Harold Camping.
I believe the proper spelling is "hoo-er". Use your phonetics, people!
The whole movie is fun, but that scene floors me every time. If someone out there hasn't seen Life of Brian yet, grab a copy. The Monty Python crew outdo themselves.
Cubanadian! I must steal for future use. Thanks!
I would have said the county taxpayers were being discriminated against by having to pay a clerk who won't do her job.