439 Comments

There is a reason I refer to it as the 'duh. The best part about being from the 'duh is that I no longer live there.

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Is "shove this turkey in the oven" some kind of euphemism?

'Cause is sounds fun.

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No, CO. Weird, though (I have approx 1 billion cousins, so it was worth a shot).

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That sounds like a number of Thanksgiving dinners, just without the "expensive" part.

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Trust me, "Jim" is real. I met him once in a Greyhound men's restroom.

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We fed the giblets to our pet mink, Brian Boru. He was thankful.

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Giblets to the mink and chopped clams in the stuffing.

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"Fill those pews, people! Hook them while they're young and get them for life."

"Kind of like the tobacco companies."

"Christ, if we only had their numbers."

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Maybe he can commute between bolgias every millenia.

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And, it goes without saying that their grandson is not allowed to bring a black, jewish, hispanic or muslim date to their house either. Not that they are prejudiced or anything.

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Naw, just buy the boxed turkey gravy Trader Joe's sells. It's smooth and tasty and when it's heated up it tastes as good as anything that could be made in a turkey roaster.

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Hell, yes. My long life has taught me that The Gheys often cook real good and their table settings are invariably much nicer than mine ... quite often the dishes actually match the serving pieces! Not to mention the conversation at their tables isn't hateful. Snarky or catty maybe but not hateful.

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I fed my brother's dog corn pudding, homemade cranberry relish, and some pieces of turkey while I was doing the dishes tonight. Will the dog get sick? Am I in trouble? In any case, she LOVED it. I know she eats green beans without incident.

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Only aware of how much money he's collected that day. FIFY.

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He's in Phoenix... I think it's actually Cave Creek. He's not a fan of AZ...he misses actual trees, and changes of season, and houses that don't all look alike, and he's not a huge fan of the heat, either, so he's really looking forward to coming home.

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Way more complicated than I imagined, so I just may have to cut the reverend a little slack, because this is a tough one: "If you're going along with it, he says, 'well, mom likes it, it's Okay.'" So, his grand-parent is also his mom, and she's named "Jim." So, what the reverend seems to imply here is that if you're like this gay-boy's momma, and gay-marry in the proper way--AFTER transgender sex reassignment--then it's OK even if you marry your mother-in-law, making your son your own grandson. Otherwise, it's just not Christian to bring your samegaysex partner to the family Thanksgiving Dinner. Family values, got it?

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