Paul Ryan Campaigning With Donald Trump, But SHHHHHHHH, It's Too Embarrassing!

FORLORN

Awwwww, let's warm our hearts with some news about Paul Ryan being a pussy. Remember how, all through the primary and the general election, the House speaker who did not want to be the House speaker has been trying with all his might to distance himself from Donald Trump, but also trying in vain to balance that with his very powerful position in the Republican party, which has chosen Trump as its nominee? Lately, his parry has been just to focus on how awful Hillary is, rather than try to say anything nice about Trump. Sure, Ryan acknowledges that Trump is a yoooooge racist, but have you seen Hillary? Like, really seen her? HRMPH!

Before that, Ryan was a little more cagey, acting all "YOU ARE THE BIG RACIST AND I CONDEMN YOU, DONALD TRUMP," but never  actually saying he wouldn't vote for him. It's been a strange trip. It even got to a point where Ryan figured he'd PROBABLY support Trump, but that he wasn't "ready." Aren't you supposed to have deep love feelings for a man before you give him your endorsement? (He did give his "endorsement," in June, but we'd call it more of a "hate-dorsement," because Ryan haaaates Trump.)

Anyway, Trump and Ryan are campaigning together in Wisconsin, which is LOL:

Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) is campaigning with Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump in Wisconsin on Saturday, though it kind of seems he didn’t want you to know that.

Ryan’s campaign released a media advisory Thursday titled, “Paul Ryan to Attend Annual Fall Fest in Walworth County.” It’s an event in Ryan’s home state, and the advisory lists lots of state officials attending.

Ooh, we bet there will be corn dogs and craft booths, OH BOY, and also maybe they will have those things where a broad-shouldered gentleman can win a not-very-snuggly stuffed animal for his beloved, and maybe that broad-shouldered gentleman will be Donald Trump, and maybe Paul Ryan would like a stuffed animal!

You can see how excited Ryan is about this, by reading his media advisory about the event:

Do you see it? The Huffington Post notes it takes THREE PARAGRAPHS to get to the part about "Oh by the way, Trump will be there, but don't say anything, because Paul Ryan is trying to keep his late-night Trump endorsements on the down low, if you know what we mean." We are sure this will be a very exciting event for Trump, and for Paul Ryan, who we bet just really loves his job right now.

Paul Ryan will have fun with Donald Trump, at the fair.

Unless he doesn't and Trump wins a stuffed beaver for another Wisconsin congressman.

But maybe he won't do that this time.

Oh shit, Trump is probably going to say something super-racist, and then Ryan is going to have to "condemn" him, while still endorsing and voting for him.

Gah, so embarrassing!

Paul Ryan does not want to go to the fair with Donald Trump.

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[ Huffington Post ]