Penis Collecting, John McCain Does The Robot (Yes, Really) And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Would you like to start your day with some laughs, some tears, or maybe just go straight to the drinking? Of course you would! And we are here to help.

• • You know things in Ferguson have gotten really ugly when CNN's Don Lemon almost got arrested :

    Lemon did not end getting detained by officers there, but they did attempt to physically push him back away from CNN’s camera, shouting, “Move out of the way, sir. Move!” [...]

    “I’m not going to resist a police officer,” Lemon said and he moved backwards. “Now you see why people are so upset here, because we have been here all day,” he added. “We’re on national television. So imagine what they are doing to people when you don’t see on national television, the people who don’t have a voice like we do.”

• • John McCain does the robot . You have to see it to believe it, and even then, you won't believe it, and you'll definitely wish you hadn't seen it.

• • Oh, hi, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, whatcha doin'? Schoolin' America on racism and class warfare and democracy and the one percent , because you are not just a hero basketball player but also a hero human being?

    I’m not saying the protests in Ferguson aren’t justified—they are. In fact, we need more protests across the country. Where’s our Kent State? What will it take to mobilize 4 million students in peaceful protest? Because that’s what it will take to evoke actual change. The middle class has to join the poor and whites have to join African-Americans in mass demonstrations, in ousting corrupt politicians, in boycotting exploitative businesses, in passing legislation that promotes economic equality and opportunity, and in punishing those who gamble with our financial future.

    Otherwise, all we’re going to get is what we got out of Ferguson: a bunch of politicians and celebrities expressing sympathy and outrage. If we don’t have a specific agenda—a list of exactly what we want to change and how—we will be gathering over and over again beside the dead bodies of our murdered children, parents, and neighbors.

    Yes, you need to go read all of his words. NOW. But then come back, we have more for you, oh yes we do.

• • In case you missed it, Liz Cheney is still awful :

    Liz Cheney on Sunday asserted that Americans did not want Bill Clinton to return to the White House because he was unfaithful to his wife and “continues to behave” improperly. [...]

    “The extent to which people look at him, look at how he’s behaved, how he continues to behave. And not that that should blame Hillary for that, but more, do you really want that person living in your White House again?”

    Guess what. Liz isn't just still awful; she's also still wrong about everything too:

    But Cook Political Report editor Amy Walter quickly shut down Cheney’s argument.

    “Who would have predicted this in 1999, but a poll recently out from Wall Street Journal, Bill Clinton, related to other world leaders, he and the pope tied,” she pointed out. “The pope tied in terms of their approval rating.”

    So yeah, people actually totally heart Bill Clinton, just like the pope. Looks like Liz is wrong. Again. As usual.

• •  Penis collecting is a neat hobby.

• • House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy's wife, Judy, is very upset that she cannot even be a Christian in Obama's America:

    People are sympathetic to different things and different causes, but when you bring up Christian, there is no sympathy whatsoever. They do not think you should be able to have that belief. You’re not pushing that on someone else, it’s your own belief, you’re living it, I’ve never seen it the way it is now, I do think it is really scary actually, I think that they don’t want you to have the right to be a Christian.

    Pssst. Mrs. House Majority Leader. Not only do you have the right to be a Christian, you even have the right to be a dimwit who thinks "they" don't want you to have the right to be a Christian. Ain't America great? Praise the Lord.

What's got you laughing, crying, and/or drinking this morning?