People's Convoy Leaves DC Without Even Citizen's Arresting The Mayor
We hardly remembered they were still there.
After a month of just kind of hanging out and being weird, the People's Convoy is leaving Washington DC. They had driven all across the country to protest COVID-19-related mandates and restrictions that were actually already being lifted on account of the fact that they worked and the numbers of infected people went down as a result.
With such successes as "driving around a bit," "meeting with Ted Cruz and Ron Johnson," and "getting flipped off by DC residents they were pretty sure were all antifa" under their belt, organizer Mike Landis announced that it was time to pack it in and head back to California.
Those listening seemed to be on board, perhaps because they were tired of pissing themselves — a problem they said they had been dealing with for some time now on account of the fact that there are not a lot of places to go to the bathroom on the Beltway.
Fortunately for DC Mayor Muriel Bowser, the truckers did not get a chance to citizen's arrest her for this crime as they had planned. Or anyone else for that matter, because they had also hoped to arrest some police officers for the same reason. Surely, that would have gone really well, because it's definitely legal to just walk up to the mayor or a police officer and arrest them for the crime of making you pee your pants because you couldn't wait until you got to a gas station. Or for anything else. Don't like how your hair looks that day? Go arrest the mayor!
You know, we wonder why Republicans are so incredibly okay with our prison system and our criminal justice system and people getting thrown in prison for decades for minor crimes, and we forget we're dealing with people who think they can LOCK HER UP over their own soiled cargo shorts.
Does this mean they're giving up on whatever it is they weren't really doing? No. Landis assured the convoyers that they would be coming back soon to finish "the job," whatever that is. However, as Zachary Petrizzo of The Daily Beast points out, that may not come to pass as there has been some trouble in paradise the past few days.
The announcement comes after lead organizer Brian Brase fled Hagerstown again over the weekend amid continued splintering within the group. [...]
During its final week in Hagerstown, the group became increasingly desperate, with two of its medics leaving and factions emerging between those who believed the convoy was “corrupt[ed]” and those who thought it wasn’t. Morale was also dropping fast, and it appeared that the $2 million raised was drying up quickly , as organizers increasingly tightened the restrictions on how and when fuel reimbursements would be distributed to truckers.
Brase, the group’s de facto leader, had previously told The Daily Beast the convoy could go on “indefinitely.” “This is a process that we are hoping to do diplomatically,” Brase said. “We’re in it for the long haul.”
Famous last words, I suppose.
[ The Daily Beast ]
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