'Pet Psychic' Has Incontrovertible Proof Dead Pets Are Watching You From Beyond The Grave

Get ready to become a believer.

There is no better scam going than "pet psychic." It's so much better, even, than being a real psychic because A) Who is gonna tell you you're wrong? The cat? The cat can't talk, and B) The kind of people who would hire a freaking "pet psychic" are going to believe you no matter what you say. You don't even have to become an expert in doing cold readings, because there's practically no way you can go wrong. Unless, you have ethics of some kind. I would be a terrible pet psychic for that reason, but a very good one otherwise because I would get very creative. All your pets would have incredibly rich inner lives along with hobbies, interests, and well-thought out opinions on human events.

So there are a lot of pet psychics on TikTok who tell stories about the discussions they have had with people's pets, both alive and dead. It's a perfect venue to advertise these services because not only is the pet unable to refute you, there's no one to say you didn't talk to them in the first place. Any of us could make an account and start making videos about the conversations we've had with entirely non-existent labradors. Also, all the pet psychics say the same two things — Your Pets Pick YOU! (But You Already Knew That!) and that all of your dead pets are watching you. I very much hope this isn't true because I still have nightmares about a cannibalism incident involving the pet gerbils my sister and I had as kids and I don't want their evil little spirits anywhere near me.

I came across an article today on a site called One Green Planet titled "Pet Psychic Shares Proof That Deceased Animals Can Still See Their Humans" and I clicked on it immediately. Why? Because I am very open-minded and if there is indeed "proof" of this sort of thing, then I am certainly willing to consider it.

Now, I'm gonna warn you — this is a little hard to watch . Not because of the content so much as because the audio is so incredibly out of sync with the video.

 @nikkivasconez 

If you learn one thing from me, make it this 🙏🏻 #petpsychic #animalcommunicator #petlosssupport #catmommalife

The gist of former property lawyer and current pet psychic Nikki Vasconez's story is that one time she was having a talk with someone's cat, and then later she found out that the cat was dead.

If you’re missing a pet in heaven I wanna share a story with you that’s going to show you that your angel is still with you, they see you, they hear you and this is how I know for sure.

Two and a half years ago I learned that animal communication is possible, that humans can telepathically talk to animals. This isn’t something I always knew humans could do. I started practicing and I did a session with this girl’s cat, and after the session, every time the mom was talking about her cat she kept saying “my kitty used to do,” “my kitty loved that,” everything was in the past tense.

And I said “Hey! Why is everything in the past tense?” And she said “Oh, kitty died in March!”

And then the cat untied the green ribbon from around her neck and Haley Joel Osment over here suddenly realizes that Mrs. Snickerdoodles was dead the whole time.

“What? When I connected with this cat and she told me very specific details about her human’s life right now, the cat died four months ago. I never would have tried connecting with this cat if I knew she had already passed, so I’m thankful it happened the way it did.

Well, if that entirely, unconfirmed story being told by a random lady on Tiktok (who also claims that your pets choose how they are going to die based on what life lessons they think you need to learn) is not proof of life after death for pets, I do not know what is. That being said, I would have to imagine that pets would probably not like having to sit up there in heaven ( do all dogs go to heaven?) staring at us all day. Wouldn't that be boring for them? I don't see my parents' West Highland terrier sitting still for that long, and I would certainly hope that my deceased cat, Mr. Catface, would be involved in more intellectual pursuits.

I guess if people want to believe that kind of thing, it's fine — whatever gets them through the day — though I do hope they're not paying very much for it.

Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!