For some reason we cannot discern, Joan Jett was supposed to ride atop South Dakota's float in the upcoming Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, but then this made the cattle ranchers sad because of how Joan Jett does not love meat and only loves PETA. Now, we have only ever seen that parade through a haze of bourbon and turkey, so we had no idea whatsoever that the parade had anything but those giant terrifying Muppet balloons.
Thanksgiving is a good day for PETA to stay the fuck out of sight.
Munching carpet is not strictly vegan, amirite?
The should call the Vertex Guy. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wik..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vertexguy">http://en.wikipedia.org/wik...
Now, if you move up to <a href="http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Lawrence_Welk" target="_blank">North</a> Dakota...
nobody yelps like joan jett.
that is all.