SNL has to portray the Hegseth clusterfuck humorously, but the damage he is doing to our military and our nation are deadly serious. Needless to say, except to the MAGA dumbfucks who do not care.
It may be worth repeating for the kids in the back, who DO NOT APPEAR TO BE LISTENING -- THAT MEANS YOU, PETE. AND DONALD, YOU TOO. The Constitution is THE BASIC LAW OF THE NATION.
Both Trump and Hegseth are rapists. This is documented fact In short they both have a history of preying upon weaker people This is the total antithesis of what we always considered to be "Manly" A real man does not prey upon the weak but rather protects them How have we sunk this low?
My goodness, Blotto von Bismarck is so fucking jealous of Mark Kelly it's blindingly obvious. He looks at Kelly and sees everything he wasn't talented enough to be. An astronaut, a decorated military officer, a guy who can actually ride a skateboard? The inferiority complex is off the charts. Because really, what is Blotto von Bismarck but a gin-soaked asshole...rescued from obscurity by being selected for the worst couch in America...the one Jizzy Divan wouldn't even want to cuddle with...the Faux News Stoopit Settee.
But I guess that's how this is going to operate, just find some sort of fakakta reason to disappear Kelly, maybe give Republicans an opportunity to get another Senate seat. The sky's the limit when you're protected by Murc's Law.
Are they going to order up another "mortgage fraud" special? I guess they need to go into the ranks of lolyers for that.
Their actual accomplishments are dismally small. the only thing they can do to elevate their position is to tear down and denigrate people who have real accomplishments to their credit. All that Kelly and those like him have done can be easily negated if we find he checked a wrong box on a mortgage or credit card application
At least in our official stance, the United States has always taken a position of minimalizing civilian casualties and even avoiding the unnecessary killing of enemy troops. This is what set us apart The Don and Pete show tosses al of that out, and promotes maximum lethality of OUR military forces. Their perception of warfare and soldiers seems to be drawn from action movies and comic books More "Kills" results in a higher score. These "people" need to be removed from their positions, the sooner the better.
War is the consequence of the "failure of diplomacy" It is the most horrible thing in the human experience. It is not glorious or cool. Anyone who speaks of it in those terms has either never been there or is a "fucking perverse sicko" . I don't know how much active fighting Pete was involved in, but he was there. so that places him in the "fucking perverse sicko" category.
How is it that the American Military Machine ... the pride of RWNJs everywhere ... can practically run out of munitions in a 2 month engagement?
Don't they have a near trillion dollar yearly budget? How do they not have stockpiles of "bullets" of various sizes to last for years? Jeebus, what an embarrassment.
There is only one thing you need to know about the drunk Pete Hegseth. He was a guard at GITMO.
Dude is really fond of torture, and he thinks it should be used against his enemies, which includes you. That, plus being a loudmouth in TeeVee, are the reasons why Trump put him where he is.
He was barred from serving on duty at the inauguration of Joe Biden after a guardsman flagged Hegseth as an "insider threat", noting a tattoo on his biceps of the words "Deus vult". He left the Individual Ready Reserve in January 2024, writing in his book The War on Warriors (2024) that he resigned over the incident
"Deus Vult" is a rallying cry used by many White Nationalist groups. Having it tattooed on your body would seem to indicate that you are at very least sympathetic to the ideals held by such groups
“Because this president got our country into this without a strategic goal, without a plan, without a timeline... because of that, we’ve expended a lot of munitions."
NUH-UH! It'S BeCauSE We GaVe aLL of OUr GoOD StuFf to THE UkrAiNe. ThEY LieD to YOU!11!!1!!!
SNL has to portray the Hegseth clusterfuck humorously, but the damage he is doing to our military and our nation are deadly serious. Needless to say, except to the MAGA dumbfucks who do not care.
“Oh fuck off you drunk cunt” (JoJoFromJerz).
I wanna party with JoJoFromJerz!
It may be worth repeating for the kids in the back, who DO NOT APPEAR TO BE LISTENING -- THAT MEANS YOU, PETE. AND DONALD, YOU TOO. The Constitution is THE BASIC LAW OF THE NATION.
Both Trump and Hegseth are rapists. This is documented fact In short they both have a history of preying upon weaker people This is the total antithesis of what we always considered to be "Manly" A real man does not prey upon the weak but rather protects them How have we sunk this low?
My goodness, Blotto von Bismarck is so fucking jealous of Mark Kelly it's blindingly obvious. He looks at Kelly and sees everything he wasn't talented enough to be. An astronaut, a decorated military officer, a guy who can actually ride a skateboard? The inferiority complex is off the charts. Because really, what is Blotto von Bismarck but a gin-soaked asshole...rescued from obscurity by being selected for the worst couch in America...the one Jizzy Divan wouldn't even want to cuddle with...the Faux News Stoopit Settee.
But I guess that's how this is going to operate, just find some sort of fakakta reason to disappear Kelly, maybe give Republicans an opportunity to get another Senate seat. The sky's the limit when you're protected by Murc's Law.
Are they going to order up another "mortgage fraud" special? I guess they need to go into the ranks of lolyers for that.
Oh man Seth. You are on fire this morning. (Well, at least it's morning where I am.)
Their actual accomplishments are dismally small. the only thing they can do to elevate their position is to tear down and denigrate people who have real accomplishments to their credit. All that Kelly and those like him have done can be easily negated if we find he checked a wrong box on a mortgage or credit card application
At least in our official stance, the United States has always taken a position of minimalizing civilian casualties and even avoiding the unnecessary killing of enemy troops. This is what set us apart The Don and Pete show tosses al of that out, and promotes maximum lethality of OUR military forces. Their perception of warfare and soldiers seems to be drawn from action movies and comic books More "Kills" results in a higher score. These "people" need to be removed from their positions, the sooner the better.
Look at the US actions in Latin America and the Philippines or Vietnam and you might find that position to be tissue-thin.
That said, yes these assholes need to go.
It's not like Hegseth would remember what he said during the hearing, so for him it probably was classified information.
"I'm not question you are the drunk!"
War is the consequence of the "failure of diplomacy" It is the most horrible thing in the human experience. It is not glorious or cool. Anyone who speaks of it in those terms has either never been there or is a "fucking perverse sicko" . I don't know how much active fighting Pete was involved in, but he was there. so that places him in the "fucking perverse sicko" category.
How is it that the American Military Machine ... the pride of RWNJs everywhere ... can practically run out of munitions in a 2 month engagement?
Don't they have a near trillion dollar yearly budget? How do they not have stockpiles of "bullets" of various sizes to last for years? Jeebus, what an embarrassment.
There's probably a lot of little graft holes that money get sucked into.
I worked with a guy who was so much like Aziz doing Kash Patel. He would just pop out of nowhere and start hyping.
I imagine that's hilarious the first 2 times, and then after that you have to restrain yourself from strangling him.
Very much so!
He was a prosecutor and I was a defense attorney and he would pop out from behind a taller person and be all “you’re going down! Haha! We got you!”
He reminded me of that Jabba the Hutt sidekick.
this one?
https://lumiere-a.akamaihd.net/v1/images/image_da9047cc.jpeg
Oh, Pete. Won’t you learn from Barbara Streisand? Don’t amplify how Kelly pointed out how badly you’re fucking up.
But! You be you.
"We have been dealing with it, and don't need to worry about it," the secretary of defense said in reference to the Strait of Hormuz. Some time ago.
Can we all agree that Jost, Damon, and Ansari would be a much better hang than the creatures they are impersonating?
They would be part of a much better Cabinet too.
I want to be in that sketch or even rehearsal so very much!
There is only one thing you need to know about the drunk Pete Hegseth. He was a guard at GITMO.
Dude is really fond of torture, and he thinks it should be used against his enemies, which includes you. That, plus being a loudmouth in TeeVee, are the reasons why Trump put him where he is.
He seems like he'd be a big pal of Governor Pudding Boots, who is also a torture enthusiast.
He was barred from serving on duty at the inauguration of Joe Biden after a guardsman flagged Hegseth as an "insider threat", noting a tattoo on his biceps of the words "Deus vult". He left the Individual Ready Reserve in January 2024, writing in his book The War on Warriors (2024) that he resigned over the incident
"Deus Vult" is a rallying cry used by many White Nationalist groups. Having it tattooed on your body would seem to indicate that you are at very least sympathetic to the ideals held by such groups
I never knew that about him being barred from duty, that makes a lot of sense. No wonder he's so jealous of Mark Kelly!
Kegsbreath demonstrates sociopathic characteristics, particularly sick and twisted SADISM.
He gets OFF by doing damage to other human beings.
"He was a guard at GITMO."
And that tells you everything you need to know about why he was nominated for the position by President Stephen Miller.
Ouch! All the calamine lotion in the world won't soothe that burn!
“Because this president got our country into this without a strategic goal, without a plan, without a timeline... because of that, we’ve expended a lot of munitions."
NUH-UH! It'S BeCauSE We GaVe aLL of OUr GoOD StuFf to THE UkrAiNe. ThEY LieD to YOU!11!!1!!!
It was the immigrants! They made a second key to the weapons bunker!