467 Comments
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Stephanie Hobbs's avatar

"We're changing the Defense Department" Sadly, you are.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

So many in Chump's orbit make the same stupid mistake, no doubt because they're so stupid.

You can't play Chump's grievance cards. Only he can play Chump's grievance cards.

The Russia Hoax reference, not even the Russia, Russia, Russia Hoax, was so embarrassing my testicles actually withdrew into my body.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Marcie. How many Scaramuccis will he last?

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Stranger Than Friction's avatar

I am in awe that white males can fail upwards so spectacularly. Exhibit B: Pete Hegseth.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

And he'll always be an Exhibit B, or, as we used to say growing up on a farm, Number Two.

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Amezed's avatar

OMG pals, the full version is SO much worse. "Give 'Em Enough Rope" etc. https://www.thedailybeast.com/hegseth-melts-down-in-front-of-own-kids-in-rant-to-save-job/

His kids look like hostages, poor things

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Daddy's home.

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GrannysKnitting's avatar

ffs - what a mess

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Always Be Ithacating's avatar

"Trump’s DUI hire" – mighty cold, and well deserved!

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mzf's avatar

Story is that the big tragedy of Kristi Noem's purse being stolen is that it contained her Border Patrol cap and they won't replace it.

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Marla's avatar

The real tragedy is the loss of her makeup bag. How’s she gonna cosplay Head of DHS without her glam?

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

It's a good thing she's white. 3K in cash in a brown or black woman's purse, and there's only one way they could get that kind of scratch.

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Khavrinen's avatar

They don't include those in just *every* box of Froot Loops, you know.

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coco lurks from home's avatar

The next one will be a *weekday* anchor from Faux, not just some loser weekend guy.

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Sgt JMK's avatar

Somewhere, Brian Kilmeade is shining his shoes and practicing his curtsey...

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Lionel “8647” Hutz's avatar

Sure, the White House has leaked they are looking for a replacement, but have you even considered how hard it will be to find a drunk extremist incompetent with no morals that will follow the orders of both the proven rapist Trump and Musk without question?

Apparatchiks of the Reich don't just grow on trees.

Maybe they can put Eric in at DoD.

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Khavrinen's avatar

"Eric who?" -- PAB

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mzf's avatar

Eric, for all his confused looks, is too smart for the DoD job, especially since Pop's the boss. Don Jr. on the other hand, might consider it.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Do you think it'll make Daddy love him?

He's your man.

Doubleplusgoodnews! Jr. only drinks socially.

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Mr blob's avatar

When you’re so sober, focused, and detail oriented that you remember to shave only one of your sideburns

https://bsky.app/profile/meidastouch.com/post/3lndepjdiyk2s

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Lionel “8647” Hutz's avatar

“This is NOT a meeting about ‘top secret China war plans.’ It’s an informal meeting about innovation, efficiencies & smarter production. Gonna be great!”

I take it that means Hegseth got one of those Bartesan instant cocktail machines, and wanted to try it out with everyone?

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calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

"...the White House is shopping for Hegseth’s replacement."

Might I suggest some nice House republican? Just to keep the margin as thin as possible.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Congresswoman Stefanik comes to mind.

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AIB's avatar

I run warm and cold on Will Ferrell but I so want to see him play Hegseth in a black comedy. It could be the Dr. Strangelove for our time.

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Russell Jones's avatar

>>One thing I could never stand was to see a filthy, dirty old drunky howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going blurp blurp in between as it might be a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts.<<

~ Alex DeLarge

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Alpaca Suitcase's avatar

Ullyot: 𝐻𝑒𝑔𝑠𝑒𝑡ℎ 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑠-𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑎𝑑𝑣𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑝𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑐 𝑎𝑓𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑠 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑚, 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑒𝑏𝑢𝑛𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑎 𝑣𝑎𝑔𝑢𝑒, 𝐶𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜𝑛-𝑒𝑠𝑞𝑢𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑛-𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 “𝑛𝑜𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑒𝑥𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑎𝑟 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑠.”

At first I thought, buttery emails? But nobody actually WAS sharing war plans in the buttery emails! It's OK to deny it when it actually didn't happen!

Then I realized he was talking about Bill's wang. Yes, it was a comms fail, but JHFC, I expect guys to comms fail when talking about their wangs. (And ladies about their lady wangs, for that matter.) I guarantee you this Ullyot guy will not be whinging about comms fails when Hegseth posts his wang on Signal and lies about it, he will just say "wangs will be wangs".

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