Pink Soup. Tabs, Monday, June 1, 2016

It's a Lithuanian thing, you wouldn't understand.

Jun 01, 2026

Good morning, let’s see what the internet says is happening in the world this morning!

Donald Trump is very upset that the “Dumocrats, and various seemingly unpatriotic Republicans” won’t just lie back and watch him Art Of The Deal with Iran. Don’t we all trust him to negotiate something that’s at least half as good as what Barack Obama already negotiated? We do not? Oh. [Truth Social]

Trump is also bragging that he nailed his fourth recent dementia test, which he still thinks is a genius IQ test. If they’re lying to him about what kind of test it is, are they also lying to him about the results? RELEASE THE CLOCK DRAWINGS.

He’s also having a real tantrum about being told he can’t build a DRONEPORT on top of the White House, and says he’s going to cancel the inbred country fair since all the artists have pulled out, and replace it with a REAL celebrity who’s more famous than Elvis, AKA himself. [JoeMyGod / JoeMyGod]

Today in brain drain: fully 10,000 real lawyers have left the Trump administration. Their replacements? Dipshits and Nazis. The US government just isn’t an impressive place to work anymore.

Pigfuck the Plumber Markwayne Mullin will be testifying before the Senate Appropriations Committee tomorrow, and Trump’s local buttsniffing pomeranian Todd Blanche will be at House Appropriations the same day. Could be fun for both guys! [Senate Appropriations / House Appropriations]

Is this the worst, stupidest answer Kevin Hassett could have given to this question on Fox News? Yes.

You guys, don’t worry! Kevin’s talking to the credit card CEOs and they say they aren’t hurting, so it’s all probably fiiiiine.

Masha Gessen on the formula that beat Viktor Orbán, and how that formula can also beat Trump. [New York Times]

Ken Paxton says PFFFFFT, he’s no more plagued by scandal than Donald Trump is. Very good flex, Ken Paxton! [Aaron Rupar]

Related, latest poll of TX-SEN from Texas Public Opinion Research has James Talarico beating Paxton by three points, 47-44. But sure, Republicans! Keep saying Talarico is a gay vegan who eats the wrong breakfast tacos! You’re nailing it. [The Hill]

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Guys, Jon Ossoff is kind of hot, could be the 2028 nom.

Tommy Tuberville with a zinger burn, the Democrats’ new girlfriend is women.

Finland won the world cup of ice hockey, which for you Americans out there is a sport that isn’t American football. They beat Switzerland 1-0 in overtime! We bet they’re pretty excited. [AP]

Have you ever been to Vilnius, Lithuania? If not, you may not know that they have a huge Pink Soup Fest that happened this weekend, where the whole entire town becomes hot pink to celebrate this cold beet-based pink soup — šaltibarščiai — that they eat there and in Latvia. (Fun fact: there is a rivalry between the two countries over who makes the soup correctly. There was apparently a rap battle involved a few years ago?)

Here is a video from Reuters about Pink Soup Fest:

OK, that’s enough to get you started, and if it isn’t, why don’t you go read a different internet?

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