Pinky Herman. Tabs, Thurs., July 23, 2026

Jul 23, 2026

Rather than normal tabs this morning, wouldn’t you just like some nice videos of your president? Luckily, we are thinking about your needs.

Remember when the men in women’s sports ravaged your whole town and you had to live in a FEMA trailer?

Trump don’t need no stinkin’ Hormuz Street.

And finally, here is Trump saying Jon Ossoff reminds him of beloved children’s entertainer Pinky Herman.

Good old Pinky!

OK, that’s enough videos, we’ll do you some real tabs.

Marco Rubio went and met with the top diplomat in China, totally forgot to mention that his boss just gave a big speech where he accused China of interfering in the 2020 election to help steal it for Joe Biden. DOY DOY DOY, BIG FORGET, MARCO RUBIO! [Washington Post]

Speaking of Little Marco, he allegedly will not block the extradition of the big brother Barron Trump never had, Andrew Tate, and also Andrew Tate’s brother, who are wanted for rape and other crimes in the UK. [Axios]

Peacey The Clown and his violent rogue regime are thinking about next bombing … Mali? Sure, why not, Mali. [Washington Post]

CHRIST, the way he fucking lies. Trump — on his way to accept the bodies of more troops he’s gotten killed for no reason — just started bullshitting and saying all the troops who died, all of them, “said very strongly, ‘We can’t let, cannot let Iran have a nuclear weapon.’” Bull fucking shit, asshole. The only way that story would be less believable would be if Trump said they had tears in their eyes and called him “Sir.” Fuck you, bastard. [HuffPost]

Speaking of peace prizes, Trump is pretty sure he has a cool idea for the next UN secretary general, and it is the widely loathed head of FIFA, who made up a whole entire peace prize to give him because his distended asshole was leaking over the fact he’s never won the real one. [New York Post]

OK, we said no more videos, but here is a video of greasy hairball Rep. Brandon Gill — the one who rubs his penis on Dinesh D’Souza’s daughter within the bonds of holy matrimony — getting super mad because an American museum is selling merch that says “Latina Power.” IS THAT APPROPRIATE, MADAM? AT LONG LAST, IS THAT APPROPRIATE?

Take THAT, wildly successful movie The Odysssey that has Black people in it! Elon Musk is going to get his Hitler robot Grok to make ITS OWN version of The Odyssey, one that is HISTORICALLY ACCURATE. Time for some historically accurate cyclops and sirens, OK? All fictional characters are white, OK? Thank you for your attention to this matter! [Euro News / Daily Kos]

Lauren Boebert thinks maybe the moon landing was fake. [MeidasTouch]

A real good piece of music is the “Ritual Fire Dance” (“Danza Ritual del Fuego”) by Spanish composer Manuel de Falla. Here is a full orchestra version: