Play Us Out, Afroman! Tabs, Thurs., March 19, 2026

Morning news roundup and things to read!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

What if we started with a Nice Time? We could do that!

Afroman is in court, being sued by some shit-ass cops for “defamation” for singing about how they fucked up his house and kids. That was only their first mistake. (ABC7 Chicago) Please enjoy just the smallest slice of deposition!

And please enjoy the offending defamations that a jury has ruled ARE NOT! (Billboard)

Pentagon wants $200 billion for Iran war. No, $200 billion more than they already have. (Gift link Washington Post)

Hey what if we sent all the minesweepers away from the place we chose to have a war filled with mines? Goddamn, Pete Hegseth is good at his job. (The Fucking News)

Hey how’s Trump’s brain doing? It’s real good, right? (Rex Huppke at USA Today)

“Helping consumers is the least of our concerns right now.” Yeah, we know. (Tiedrich)

How he’s trying to murder wind power this time. (Our Liz at Public Notice)

Kristi Noem, Ghislaine Maxwell — hell, Phyllis Schlafly and the time she bitched that there were no women in Reagan’s Cabinet — and the patriarchal bargain. (Andi Zeisler at Salon)

For fuck’s sake. Jeff Bezos’s “climate charity” is promoting AI to solve “climate.” (Oligarch Watch)

You guys want to see someone beat a senator with a cane into a coma? (NO, because that would be AGAINST THE RULES FOR COMMENTING RADICALS.)

New College Republicans nazi just dropped! (Popular Info)

Everyone on the Right is calling each other “harlot” and “micropenis” right now. I approve all their messages. (Paul Waldman)

I love Lisa Kudrow’s The Comeback so fucking much, and a THIRD season — 21 years after the first, 11 years after the second — starts again March 22. In this season, Valerie Cherish will star in something made by the AI, and I cannot fucking wait. Plus an interview! (The Hollywood Reporter)

You guys want to read a 157-page opinion on romantasy plagiarism? I got you. You’re welcome! (Ruling)

Play us out, Afroman!

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An ad-type object! Bookshop affiliate link, buy your libros aqui!

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Yes I’m going to be shilling this fundraiser all month. Support the girls’ Detroit public elementary school and buy some pizza (pizza). Little Caesar’s will ship the incredibly convenient pizza kits right to your home! Swear to god it is worth having these in your freezer, I was sad when we finally ate all ours last year. (Pizza Pizza)

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