In 100 years the bunker doors of the billionaire overlords will open and the inbred mutant progeny of the Theil, Andressen, Musk clans will emerge, eager and ready to lay claim to their brave new world. A world swept clean of pesky working class moochers. A world without interfering governments telling them what to do. A world of unfettered innovation and more inbreeding amongst inbred cousins and siblings.
Just one fly in the ointment the techbreeders hadn't counted on: giant mutated red-lipped bat fish almost six stories tall who had emerged from the oceans 85 years earlier than the oligarchs. And not just any old giant mutated red-lipped batfish either. No these future lords of the entire world shoot laser beams from those eyes and speak all dialects of Chinese fluently.
Those gills are kind of interesting, actually. There are some species of fish that propel themselves by gulping in water and expelling it through their rear-facing gills, and the RLBF’s gills are in the right spot to do that. But, nobody has ever observed one moving that way. Maybe they do and it hasn’t yet been seen, or maybe it’s a leftover trait from when they once did before evolving their current walking preference. Or maybe there’s another reason they are there yet to be discovered.
I was today years old when I found out this wasn't written and originally recorded by DC-area rockabilly guitar hero Link Wray.
Link Wray's version was merely a cover, I found out today at age 72 after 60 years or so of believing otherwise. He didn't even play on the actual TV theme, it being 100% a Wrecking Crew thing. (Carol Kaye's on it though, of course!)
Pete Hegseth (yes, that Pete Hegseth) at a presser accused Iran of exporting a violent, messianic Islamist ideology chasing some sort of apocalyptic endgame.
Yesterday, I said I was going to put "It can only good happen." in my e-mail signature line, but TODAY I decided to change it to, "Dig we must. Dig me wust."
Free speech wins in court, the Pentagon orders a casual $200 billion side of war, and someone thought removing minesweepers from a mine-filled war zone was a fun little experiment.
Meanwhile, the official policy update is “helping consumers is the least of our concerns,” which honestly feels like the most honest thing anyone’s said all week.
At this point, the country isn’t being run… it’s being workshopped in real time.
The antimosty between Rand Paul and Markwayne Mullet [stat] is amusing to behold, and really drives home the fact that Mullins is just too dim to be Secretary of anything.
Trump should be made to pay for every penny of his Iranian war. He started it. He broke it. He should have to pay for it. I'm sure he has a spare $200 billion squirreled away from all his bribes and grifting.
ROCK ON AFRO MAN. I almost never watch videos, because I'm usually streaming music already, but this time I stopped and watched both the testimony and the music video. And my morning is now a little better for it, and I hope he got some vindication from them both.
> and lying under a chicken, sitting in a refrigerator, and facing the possibility of being scrambled or fried are scènes à faire in works about the personification of an egg, Gibson v. CBS, Inc., 491 F. Supp. 583, 585–86 (S.D.N.Y. 1980).
What.
Two people writing yet another teen discovering she’s supernatural? Yeah, fanfic sites are full of that. *Two* people personifying eggs?
“I’m sure that at least one or two prominent Republicans are going to run for president in 2028 promising a gentler kind of politics, a return to good manners and civil discourse. And they’re going to get destroyed in the primaries. I don’t know if Ted Cruz is going to accuse Josh Hawley of having a micropenis, or if Ron DeSantis is going to call Nikki Haley a harlot, but their surrogates and advocates certainly will.”
Dan Pfeiffer talked about this in the latest episode of Pollercoaster. He suggested there will be the Trump candidate and the gentle republican candidate who is not MAGA but still horrendous
I saw a couple of YouTube channels that showed actual copies of the letter sent to Erikkka and TP by the Young Republican TPA Point chapter (can’t remember which OK University,but it was the one that Sarah Lying Huckabee Sanders used taxpayer dollars to fly in Erika Kirk to promote TPA). They didn’t hold back, they cut all ties, terminated the chapter. Erika Kirk’s blatant grifting in the name of CK is beginning to backfire. Of course, those YR’s are still Christian Nationalists, and referred to Erika’s change of mission, yada yada, but they’re so tired of her exploiting CK’s memory and “message” -like saying “my husband would want XYZ to expand the mission which is blessed by God, etc etc.
I suppose Afroman can be your hero or spirit animal or whatever else, if you like.
I watched pretty much the entire trial, and I'm gonna pass. Mr. Foreman is a complete and utter asshole. It wasn't his lemon poundcake song that was the basis of the lawsuit; it was mostly his social media posts calling an officer a pedophile and his three-year campaign of misogynistic/homophobic/transphobic comments about the female officer. Go watch her direct testimony. They show all the exhibits. Its fucking vile.
Even if you are firmly convinced that all cops are bastards, I got news for you -- so is Afroman. He's not just a bastard, he's a misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic bastard.
I know cops who are legit fucking heroes. I know cops who are crookeder than a dog's hind leg. Most are just average people who are as likely as anyone to make a mistake. Unfortunately, the consequences of their mistakes or errors in judgment can ruin people's lives.
The stupid part is going into a war which was GUARANTEED to include sea mines without either capability to deal with them yourself, or an agreement with a capable nation to do it for you. There are nations we were formerly allied with who know how to do this shit.
I'm always surprised by how many people fall for stuff like that. The idea that the Navy just up and decommissions ships on a whim seems too silly to contemplate, but people on both sides believe it every time.
Yer hed gif info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/lipstick-on-a-fish
And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/9603f5fc-ba6e-425a-87e8-01626fa133bc?utm_source=share
The Red-Lipped Batfish
has big red lips, true
the better to say hi
to me and you
So, let me get this straight. If I make it bioluminescent and wave it around………
You’ll still get arrested.
I can relate to the Batfish. On more than one occasion I've been called an old bat.
Do you know why I walk around on the bottom of the ocean?
Because I'm Batfish!!!
In 100 years the bunker doors of the billionaire overlords will open and the inbred mutant progeny of the Theil, Andressen, Musk clans will emerge, eager and ready to lay claim to their brave new world. A world swept clean of pesky working class moochers. A world without interfering governments telling them what to do. A world of unfettered innovation and more inbreeding amongst inbred cousins and siblings.
Just one fly in the ointment the techbreeders hadn't counted on: giant mutated red-lipped bat fish almost six stories tall who had emerged from the oceans 85 years earlier than the oligarchs. And not just any old giant mutated red-lipped batfish either. No these future lords of the entire world shoot laser beams from those eyes and speak all dialects of Chinese fluently.
like the end of Don't Look Up...
Only better?
Fishy has a weird mouth and feetsies....
Wait, a fish with feet?
Presenting the ocean's only monotreme: The Frog-Billed Fishypus
Why does the fish-thing have eyes on its butt?
WHY DOES THE FISH-THING HAVE EYES ON ITS BUTT?
You need eyes on the back of some body part to spot when the kids are up to something.
Optical ANAL-ysis?
Unique in the annals of the fish kingdom.
It also has an anal fin. Heh.
Those gills are kind of interesting, actually. There are some species of fish that propel themselves by gulping in water and expelling it through their rear-facing gills, and the RLBF’s gills are in the right spot to do that. But, nobody has ever observed one moving that way. Maybe they do and it hasn’t yet been seen, or maybe it’s a leftover trait from when they once did before evolving their current walking preference. Or maybe there’s another reason they are there yet to be discovered.
Thanks for the explanation, Martin.
rear view mirror?
Predator distraction for sure.
Holy evolutionary abomination WTF is it?!
Stephen Miller's mama.
Batman. Holy evolutionary abomination Batman.
Almost as bizarre as a sea robin.
Reminds me of a bikini whale.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I saw a woodpecker on the ground acting like a robin yesterday and was confused. I hope their bugs are okay…Feb was the hottest on record
Just afternoon I heard a woodpecker pecking away. There are no insects for him! He was just HORNY! LIFE IS GOOD!
A walking fish with red lips and a beard
Now you're just making stuff up.
It's not like things are not already weird
I need me a hot steaming cup.
"A walking fish with red lips and a beard"
What is one too many face lifts at Mer-a-lago, Alex?
Du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du BATFISH!
😂😂
And his sidekick, Sea Robin?
Holy siphonophore, Batfish!
Upfisted for actually having the correct amount of dus.
Neal Hefti approves.
I was today years old when I found out this wasn't written and originally recorded by DC-area rockabilly guitar hero Link Wray.
Link Wray's version was merely a cover, I found out today at age 72 after 60 years or so of believing otherwise. He didn't even play on the actual TV theme, it being 100% a Wrecking Crew thing. (Carol Kaye's on it though, of course!)
Oh well, I'll always have Rumble...
When I was a little kid there was pracically nothing that wasn't scored by Hefti or Lalo Schifrin.
LOL. It's two sets of eight.
Not much is known about them because they aren’t real, I mean, come on. /s
Next thing you know, ppl gonna be saying there's more than one time zone. Huh.
‘Heh. You other fishies think yer so pretty and sleek. Well I can do *this*! Learn s’more skills!’
That romantasy ruling was so good it should be published as literary criticism.
Pete Hegseth (yes, that Pete Hegseth) at a presser accused Iran of exporting a violent, messianic Islamist ideology chasing some sort of apocalyptic endgame.
Yesterday, I said I was going to put "It can only good happen." in my e-mail signature line, but TODAY I decided to change it to, "Dig we must. Dig me wust."
Ah yes, the modern news cycle…
Free speech wins in court, the Pentagon orders a casual $200 billion side of war, and someone thought removing minesweepers from a mine-filled war zone was a fun little experiment.
Meanwhile, the official policy update is “helping consumers is the least of our concerns,” which honestly feels like the most honest thing anyone’s said all week.
At this point, the country isn’t being run… it’s being workshopped in real time.
I saw a meme that said "Paying taxes is beginning to feel like bankrolling a criminal conspiracy."
The antimosty between Rand Paul and Markwayne Mullet [stat] is amusing to behold, and really drives home the fact that Mullins is just too dim to be Secretary of anything.
If Rand wins on this one, we will actually be able to describe him as strutting around like a Bantam Rooster.
I’ve been enjoying some lemon pound cake for a while, if you know what I mean.
I mean, it’s a catchy tune.
Promoting AI to solve climate change... That must be why AI keeps suggesting people kill themselves; to reduce the surplus population.
Trump should be made to pay for every penny of his Iranian war. He started it. He broke it. He should have to pay for it. I'm sure he has a spare $200 billion squirreled away from all his bribes and grifting.
ROCK ON AFRO MAN. I almost never watch videos, because I'm usually streaming music already, but this time I stopped and watched both the testimony and the music video. And my morning is now a little better for it, and I hope he got some vindication from them both.
> and lying under a chicken, sitting in a refrigerator, and facing the possibility of being scrambled or fried are scènes à faire in works about the personification of an egg, Gibson v. CBS, Inc., 491 F. Supp. 583, 585–86 (S.D.N.Y. 1980).
What.
Two people writing yet another teen discovering she’s supernatural? Yeah, fanfic sites are full of that. *Two* people personifying eggs?
“I’m sure that at least one or two prominent Republicans are going to run for president in 2028 promising a gentler kind of politics, a return to good manners and civil discourse. And they’re going to get destroyed in the primaries. I don’t know if Ted Cruz is going to accuse Josh Hawley of having a micropenis, or if Ron DeSantis is going to call Nikki Haley a harlot, but their surrogates and advocates certainly will.”
🍿
Republicans only know one way to campaign. Get some billionaire's pocket change and flood the airwaves with lies about your opponent.
Dan Pfeiffer talked about this in the latest episode of Pollercoaster. He suggested there will be the Trump candidate and the gentle republican candidate who is not MAGA but still horrendous
I saw a couple of YouTube channels that showed actual copies of the letter sent to Erikkka and TP by the Young Republican TPA Point chapter (can’t remember which OK University,but it was the one that Sarah Lying Huckabee Sanders used taxpayer dollars to fly in Erika Kirk to promote TPA). They didn’t hold back, they cut all ties, terminated the chapter. Erika Kirk’s blatant grifting in the name of CK is beginning to backfire. Of course, those YR’s are still Christian Nationalists, and referred to Erika’s change of mission, yada yada, but they’re so tired of her exploiting CK’s memory and “message” -like saying “my husband would want XYZ to expand the mission which is blessed by God, etc etc.
I suppose Afroman can be your hero or spirit animal or whatever else, if you like.
I watched pretty much the entire trial, and I'm gonna pass. Mr. Foreman is a complete and utter asshole. It wasn't his lemon poundcake song that was the basis of the lawsuit; it was mostly his social media posts calling an officer a pedophile and his three-year campaign of misogynistic/homophobic/transphobic comments about the female officer. Go watch her direct testimony. They show all the exhibits. Its fucking vile.
Even if you are firmly convinced that all cops are bastards, I got news for you -- so is Afroman. He's not just a bastard, he's a misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic bastard.
Everyone involved in this case was an asshole.
There goes Captain Buzkill spoiling our fun with facts and reality and shit.
(Thanks)
I know. I really wanted to just hate the cops.
I get the impression your relationship to law enforcement is…complicated. I appreciate the occasional view from inside.
Although in this case it's a simple matter of doing one’s homework.
I know cops who are legit fucking heroes. I know cops who are crookeder than a dog's hind leg. Most are just average people who are as likely as anyone to make a mistake. Unfortunately, the consequences of their mistakes or errors in judgment can ruin people's lives.
I wouldn't make too much of the mine sweepers being sent home, they have been scheduled for de-commission for years. That the navy is in bad shape for mine sweeping assets is true, but that's been the case for years, across several administrations. This was an excellent discussion of the issue - https://www.dailykos.com/story/2026/3/11/2372774/-Trump-has-many-faults-but-sending-the-minesweepers-home-are-not-one-of-them if you are interested in the background of the minesweeper thing.
Anyway, I love Wonkette and read you every day. You help keep me sane. Thanks for all you do for us.
The stupid part is going into a war which was GUARANTEED to include sea mines without either capability to deal with them yourself, or an agreement with a capable nation to do it for you. There are nations we were formerly allied with who know how to do this shit.
I'm always surprised by how many people fall for stuff like that. The idea that the Navy just up and decommissions ships on a whim seems too silly to contemplate, but people on both sides believe it every time.
Markwayne Mullin is exactly as stupid as one would think someone named Markwayne would be. Kudos to him for living up to the stereotype.