31 Comments
User's avatar
Shypixel's avatar

But the happiest loser you could ever meet. Seriously. I leak joy from my pores.

Mayor_Quimby's avatar

I once missed like a whole week because my doctor called and said ' yeah, um dude, you have almost no blood left, and we don't know why. Go directly to the ER before you die' I would highly recommend a half dozen pints of blood for anybody who gets a similar call. If you're a pussy, that is.

Mayor_Quimby's avatar

What? I'm sure that is founded in sound behavioral science.

jqheywood's avatar

And here is the guy that wrote the article: <a href="http://www.businessinsider...." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.businessinsider.com/author/max-nisen">http://www.businessinsider....

SullivanSt's avatar

Monochrome portraits of dead Presidents.

SullivanSt's avatar

Sigh, can somebody please patiently momsplain to these idiot manchildren that money is not an objective in itself, it is a means to an end?

I mean, there's no point in being able to buy an absurdly large and luxurious yacht if you never have time to take it out on the water.

Also, firing a bunch of people to make your stock more desirable to Wall Street may technically be "making a difference", but it's not actually making the world a better place.

Dashboard Buddha's avatar

<i>A private room in the cardiac care unit.</i>

Served by your own cardiologist who works 100 hours per week.

(Yeah...that's what I want...a doc who walks the ragged edge of exhaustion tinkering with my heart.)

SullivanSt's avatar

Indeed: please stop trying to make "a difference" and start trying to make "an improvement".

Dashboard Buddha's avatar

"I'll tell ya something...and that's a fact...you'll never see a hearse with a luggage rack" <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watc..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKixNITitT0">http://www.youtube.com/watc...

Dashboard Buddha's avatar

Except for that pesky child support. Just ask perpetual winner Joe Walsh.

Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

David Vitter suggests a full-body diaper might do the trick!

After he hides his inexplicable hardon.

Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

It's pretty easy dude. The other one was about Ted Nugent.

Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Joe Walsh will get back to you on that.

Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

I believe she got where she is due to Business Inside 'er