Please Convict Tom DeLay Already
Guess who is going to trial (finally)? Yes, renowned Texas cumsicle Tom DeLay! Anyway, he's white and the trial is in Texas so obviously he will be acquitted or maybe he'll get off with thirty hours of community service:
Jury selection is scheduled to begin Tuesday in the trial of former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, who is charged with illegally funneling corporate money to help elect GOP candidates to the Texas legislature.
The Republican was indicted in 2005 on charges he illegally sent $190,000 in corporate money through the Republican National Committee to help elect GOP Texas legislative candidates in 2002.
DeLay, who resigned in 2006, has pleaded not guilty to money laundering and conspiracy. He has said the trial will clear him.
Make him put on a pair of size 3 1/2 dancing pumps and prance around a parquet dance floor while the nation watches in horror. No wait, that would be punishment for the nation. My bad.
If we could just lure him into a tanning booth for a while. Death by bug spray would be appropriate.