I have always felt guilty about eventually boycotting my family holidays due to unhealthy disfunction. My siblings would drink and become belligerent, and the atmosphere was tense. I was embarrassed for years to expose my wife to that. Around 2012 I drastically limited my visits home. I’ve since lost both sibs and my father to health problems, and my mom moved to a lake to live in peace with her cats. I did have a mostly happy childhood, with lots of great Christmas and holiday memories. But it gradually became unhealthy. Now my wife and I host most holidays, and it’s far more pleasant and positive.
For the first writer with holiday apathy, I recommend diving in hard and see if it helps. I decorate our house for Xmas with lots of decorations and lights. We get a real tree every year, and we try to tastefully add lights and wreaths to the exterior. And we burn pine and holiday scented candles everyday, and bake stuff. And my cholesterol jumps 50 pts in December from all the eggnog. I’m an atheist, but I embrace the holiday for my son and to get myself into it. And put on some holiday classic movies. Elf, A Christmas Story, Arthur Christmas, Emmet Otter, etc. I don’t always feel like it, but it helps!
I won't say this is "the answer," but two friends recommended magnesium glycinate to me, and it has helped me sleep. I usually only take it when I think I might not sleep because of life stuff.
Also, get it in capsule form. I've been told it can be a bit of a laxative in powder form, and I haven't had problems with the caps.
Probably someone already said it but I like my weighted blanket for sleeping. It’s almost Pavlovian at this point: put on blanket, poof! Sleep.
I also bought a great cooling pillow so if you can’t sleep because of hot flashes that’s a great help. Likewise my menopause fan. Love my menopause fan. White noise and cooling.
If your mattress is older it might be time to investigate getting a new one or at least a topper for it to extend the life a bit.
If it’s your brain that’s the problem, my therapist had me doing “designated worry time” and making that time before sleeping time.
My last trick if I can’t sleep is the “tense muscles, hold, then release and pretend you are swinging in a hammock or bobbing in a boat” meditation/military/Buzzfeed hack. It works surprisingly well in spite of sounding woo woo bonkers.
“It’s an inspiring book that will—hopefully—push us toward a larger cultural conversation in which ‘atheism’ isn’t seen as a dirty word.”— The Humanist
America doesn’t need more God. It needs more atheists. Here’s an impassioned call for nonbelievers to be honest with themselves and their families about their lack of belief—and help change the American cultural conversation.
Even though a growing number of Americans don’t believe in god, many remain reluctant to say so out loud. Kate Cohen argues that not only is it rewarding for those of little faith to announce themselves, it’s crucial to our country’s future.
As she details the challenges and joys of fully embracing atheism—especially as a parent— Washington Post contributing columnist Kate Cohen does not dismiss religion as dangerous or silly. Instead, she investigates religion’s appeal in order to explain the ways we can thrive without it.
Americans who don’t believe in god call themselves atheists, agnostics, humanists, skeptics, and freethinkers. Sometimes they are called “nones,” based on the box they checked on a survey identifying their religion. And sometimes they call themselves Jewish, Christian, Muslim, or Buddhist.
Whatever you call yourself, if you don’t believe there’s a supernatural being in charge of the universe, it’s time to join the chorus of We of Little Faith .
“It’s an inspiring book that will—hopefully—push us toward a larger cultural conversation in which ‘atheism’ isn’t seen as a dirty word.”— The Humanist
America doesn’t need more God. It needs more atheists. Here’s an impassioned call for nonbelievers to be honest with themselves and their families about their lack of belief—and help change the American cultural conversation.
Even though a growing number of Americans don’t believe in god, many remain reluctant to say so out loud. Kate Cohen argues that not only is it rewarding for those of little faith to announce themselves, it’s crucial to our country’s future.
As she details the challenges and joys of fully embracing atheism—especially as a parent— Washington Post contributing columnist Kate Cohen does not dismiss religion as dangerous or silly. Instead, she investigates religion’s appeal in order to explain the ways we can thrive without it.
Americans who don’t believe in god call themselves atheists, agnostics, humanists, skeptics, and freethinkers. Sometimes they are called “nones,” based on the box they checked on a survey identifying their religion. And sometimes they call themselves Jewish, Christian, Muslim, or Buddhist.
Whatever you call yourself, if you don’t believe there’s a supernatural being in charge of the universe, it’s time to join the chorus of We of Little Faith .
I wonder if you people watched that cartoon thing about the Grinch Who Drank the Koolaid. There is an interesting detail that gets overlooked. “For 53 years...” He mentions the exact number of noisy, evil smelling fiestas those land-dwelling sea monkeys down the hill have thrown. 53 years is a HELL of a long time! He has a pretty legitimate beef, that Grinch.
Me, I like the booze and the lights, less so the horrid songs, the hysterical shoppers who will literally murder you if you get between them and their duty to their children. But every year the expensive and mandatory mess subsumes the true meaning of the solstice, which is: nature wants us dead. This is a ride around Cape Horn, every day bringing us closer to near total darkness, as the ship sways and the passengers pray and barf. Cling to that rigging and hold fast, sailor! Soon we’ll be in the warm blessed summer lands and Xmas will be just a terrible memory.
I have quite a lovely Christmas tree this year, though.
I feel the Christmas one. No childhood trauma here, I have lovely memories of Christmas as a kid, but as an adult without kids I'm really not a fan of all the hullaballoo. Every March or so I think to myself "I should really stop being such a grinch about Christmas and try to enjoy it," and then I see the first cynically overly-saccharine commercial or hear the first tacky Christmas song on the Top 40 station in OCTOBER and think "Oh yeah, that's why I don't like it."
I wish it was just about the family and the fun. You just have to put up with this suffocating corporate deluge of advertisements disguised in red and green or overly-enthusiastic Christmas People (you know the ones I mean, don't pretend you don't) demanding I BE FESTIVE DAMMIT and put on an ugly sweater for the office party and sign up for the White Elephant that no one actually likes. It's just so tired.
If I really have a problem sleeping (I wake up at 3 or 4am) I will move my operation to the couch, which has a pillow and blanket. That works. Except when the Border Collie can't sleep, then we both have to suffer. "It's only a snowplow, sweetie, see?" Sigh
Hey--I know the cat in that photo--isn't he the one who appears on birthday cards with a birthday hat, saying "Kevin is judging your birthday choices" and on the inside "Choose wisely"?
Thing #1 - Watch "The Ref" (1994), realize that no matter what, your life does not suck so bad.
Thing #2 - Count. The whole "count sheep" thing is stupid. All you need to do is count. And it doesn't have to be numerical, it could be just repeating to numbers over and over. In short it is self-hypnosis, but the why it works is it blocks out all the other stuff that wants to run around in your head.
Say it with me: 14..... 27..... 14..... 27.....14.....
If 14 and 27 don't "feel" right, pick two other numbers. It doesn't matter... just so that it is boringly simple and repetitive.
One thing I always did before I retired, any thought I had about having something to do tomorrow immediately write it down on your bedside notepad and immediately forget it. It helped me a lot.
On the shortest night of the year (Winter Solstice), gather people you love* and do candle-lit Tarot readings for each other. I use the Rider-Waite deck because it synthesizes symbols of so many faith traditions, and learning about them is a fascinating journey. There's no shame in using a book to "decode" the cards, or in making up your own meanings.
*People I love include cats and dogs. Cats do not, as a rule, add value to Tarot readings, especially if you lay the cards on the floor as I like to do. Yes, it's a conundrum.
Dogs? Each dog is different. Border Collies tend to rudely inform you that you're wrong, and correct you without you requesting help. We've had lots of them in our family. They're a good argument for moving Tarot readings to a table.
Bottom line: have fun, learn new things, and open your hearts. And remember: the Death card is NOT a card of death!
I have always felt guilty about eventually boycotting my family holidays due to unhealthy disfunction. My siblings would drink and become belligerent, and the atmosphere was tense. I was embarrassed for years to expose my wife to that. Around 2012 I drastically limited my visits home. I’ve since lost both sibs and my father to health problems, and my mom moved to a lake to live in peace with her cats. I did have a mostly happy childhood, with lots of great Christmas and holiday memories. But it gradually became unhealthy. Now my wife and I host most holidays, and it’s far more pleasant and positive.
For the first writer with holiday apathy, I recommend diving in hard and see if it helps. I decorate our house for Xmas with lots of decorations and lights. We get a real tree every year, and we try to tastefully add lights and wreaths to the exterior. And we burn pine and holiday scented candles everyday, and bake stuff. And my cholesterol jumps 50 pts in December from all the eggnog. I’m an atheist, but I embrace the holiday for my son and to get myself into it. And put on some holiday classic movies. Elf, A Christmas Story, Arthur Christmas, Emmet Otter, etc. I don’t always feel like it, but it helps!
I won't say this is "the answer," but two friends recommended magnesium glycinate to me, and it has helped me sleep. I usually only take it when I think I might not sleep because of life stuff.
Also, get it in capsule form. I've been told it can be a bit of a laxative in powder form, and I haven't had problems with the caps.
Probably someone already said it but I like my weighted blanket for sleeping. It’s almost Pavlovian at this point: put on blanket, poof! Sleep.
I also bought a great cooling pillow so if you can’t sleep because of hot flashes that’s a great help. Likewise my menopause fan. Love my menopause fan. White noise and cooling.
If your mattress is older it might be time to investigate getting a new one or at least a topper for it to extend the life a bit.
If it’s your brain that’s the problem, my therapist had me doing “designated worry time” and making that time before sleeping time.
My last trick if I can’t sleep is the “tense muscles, hold, then release and pretend you are swinging in a hammock or bobbing in a boat” meditation/military/Buzzfeed hack. It works surprisingly well in spite of sounding woo woo bonkers.
This is a really enjoyable read, including a chapter on making up holidays that work for you.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/113877344-we-of-little-faith
“It’s an inspiring book that will—hopefully—push us toward a larger cultural conversation in which ‘atheism’ isn’t seen as a dirty word.”— The Humanist
America doesn’t need more God. It needs more atheists. Here’s an impassioned call for nonbelievers to be honest with themselves and their families about their lack of belief—and help change the American cultural conversation.
Even though a growing number of Americans don’t believe in god, many remain reluctant to say so out loud. Kate Cohen argues that not only is it rewarding for those of little faith to announce themselves, it’s crucial to our country’s future.
As she details the challenges and joys of fully embracing atheism—especially as a parent— Washington Post contributing columnist Kate Cohen does not dismiss religion as dangerous or silly. Instead, she investigates religion’s appeal in order to explain the ways we can thrive without it.
Americans who don’t believe in god call themselves atheists, agnostics, humanists, skeptics, and freethinkers. Sometimes they are called “nones,” based on the box they checked on a survey identifying their religion. And sometimes they call themselves Jewish, Christian, Muslim, or Buddhist.
Whatever you call yourself, if you don’t believe there’s a supernatural being in charge of the universe, it’s time to join the chorus of We of Little Faith .
This is a really enjoyable read, including a chapter on making up holidays that work for you.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/113877344-we-of-little-faith
“It’s an inspiring book that will—hopefully—push us toward a larger cultural conversation in which ‘atheism’ isn’t seen as a dirty word.”— The Humanist
America doesn’t need more God. It needs more atheists. Here’s an impassioned call for nonbelievers to be honest with themselves and their families about their lack of belief—and help change the American cultural conversation.
Even though a growing number of Americans don’t believe in god, many remain reluctant to say so out loud. Kate Cohen argues that not only is it rewarding for those of little faith to announce themselves, it’s crucial to our country’s future.
As she details the challenges and joys of fully embracing atheism—especially as a parent— Washington Post contributing columnist Kate Cohen does not dismiss religion as dangerous or silly. Instead, she investigates religion’s appeal in order to explain the ways we can thrive without it.
Americans who don’t believe in god call themselves atheists, agnostics, humanists, skeptics, and freethinkers. Sometimes they are called “nones,” based on the box they checked on a survey identifying their religion. And sometimes they call themselves Jewish, Christian, Muslim, or Buddhist.
Whatever you call yourself, if you don’t believe there’s a supernatural being in charge of the universe, it’s time to join the chorus of We of Little Faith .
I wonder if you people watched that cartoon thing about the Grinch Who Drank the Koolaid. There is an interesting detail that gets overlooked. “For 53 years...” He mentions the exact number of noisy, evil smelling fiestas those land-dwelling sea monkeys down the hill have thrown. 53 years is a HELL of a long time! He has a pretty legitimate beef, that Grinch.
Me, I like the booze and the lights, less so the horrid songs, the hysterical shoppers who will literally murder you if you get between them and their duty to their children. But every year the expensive and mandatory mess subsumes the true meaning of the solstice, which is: nature wants us dead. This is a ride around Cape Horn, every day bringing us closer to near total darkness, as the ship sways and the passengers pray and barf. Cling to that rigging and hold fast, sailor! Soon we’ll be in the warm blessed summer lands and Xmas will be just a terrible memory.
I have quite a lovely Christmas tree this year, though.
I know a few kids who would love to adopt interpretive dance for the holidays.
I hope the "get better sleep" list is "take the best leave the rest", but I bet it's not
lolsigh
On Kreezmus, Melania and I are in agreement.
I feel the Christmas one. No childhood trauma here, I have lovely memories of Christmas as a kid, but as an adult without kids I'm really not a fan of all the hullaballoo. Every March or so I think to myself "I should really stop being such a grinch about Christmas and try to enjoy it," and then I see the first cynically overly-saccharine commercial or hear the first tacky Christmas song on the Top 40 station in OCTOBER and think "Oh yeah, that's why I don't like it."
I wish it was just about the family and the fun. You just have to put up with this suffocating corporate deluge of advertisements disguised in red and green or overly-enthusiastic Christmas People (you know the ones I mean, don't pretend you don't) demanding I BE FESTIVE DAMMIT and put on an ugly sweater for the office party and sign up for the White Elephant that no one actually likes. It's just so tired.
I wrote about urine so much in this one, a new high OR low, depending!!!!
If I really have a problem sleeping (I wake up at 3 or 4am) I will move my operation to the couch, which has a pillow and blanket. That works. Except when the Border Collie can't sleep, then we both have to suffer. "It's only a snowplow, sweetie, see?" Sigh
Hey--I know the cat in that photo--isn't he the one who appears on birthday cards with a birthday hat, saying "Kevin is judging your birthday choices" and on the inside "Choose wisely"?
Thing #1 - Watch "The Ref" (1994), realize that no matter what, your life does not suck so bad.
Thing #2 - Count. The whole "count sheep" thing is stupid. All you need to do is count. And it doesn't have to be numerical, it could be just repeating to numbers over and over. In short it is self-hypnosis, but the why it works is it blocks out all the other stuff that wants to run around in your head.
Say it with me: 14..... 27..... 14..... 27.....14.....
If 14 and 27 don't "feel" right, pick two other numbers. It doesn't matter... just so that it is boringly simple and repetitive.
One thing I always did before I retired, any thought I had about having something to do tomorrow immediately write it down on your bedside notepad and immediately forget it. It helped me a lot.
On the shortest night of the year (Winter Solstice), gather people you love* and do candle-lit Tarot readings for each other. I use the Rider-Waite deck because it synthesizes symbols of so many faith traditions, and learning about them is a fascinating journey. There's no shame in using a book to "decode" the cards, or in making up your own meanings.
*People I love include cats and dogs. Cats do not, as a rule, add value to Tarot readings, especially if you lay the cards on the floor as I like to do. Yes, it's a conundrum.
Dogs? Each dog is different. Border Collies tend to rudely inform you that you're wrong, and correct you without you requesting help. We've had lots of them in our family. They're a good argument for moving Tarot readings to a table.
Bottom line: have fun, learn new things, and open your hearts. And remember: the Death card is NOT a card of death!