Adults hate getting mail, because these so-called "written correspondences" are almost always just bills, bills, corn syrup coupons and more bills. (Only children like getting mail, because their mail is always birthday or 9/11 checks from grandma.) This is why sending out "political mailers" is probably not very effective -- "no mail is good mail," et cetera. But if you really want to piss everyone off, you should send out mailers that
Ah, like clockwork: watch a troll pleasure itself at getting the reaction he intended! I am guessing this is related to a lesson you clearly hold tightly on to from your upbringing: "shitting myself makes Mommy pay attention to me!"
Wow, you actually know how <i>humans</i> will react! That must be an amazing trick to the other grunting forest denizens you hang with! You must be like their king or something!
No, I don&#039;t <i>blame</i> you at all. You&#039;re merely the culmination of a long string of very poor decisions made by relatives much farther back than your immediate parents. It is all of our misfortunes to have to endure you, but nobody (but you) can do much about it now.
I really regret kicking you in your tiny penis every time you expose it, because it apparently gets you off. Since I can&#039;t figure out how to make you pay me for the pleasure, so Got industry? Nope.
Wait, that IS a penis, right? It&#039;s not just another dangling fold of skin hanging from your ever sagging abdomen? Check on that and get back to us.
Hey! Got any nonsequitur links to videos that somehow, through magic troll logic, reflect poorly on someone <i>other</i> than those people in the video? That&#039;s what we need right now, Champion of the Internet!
I&#039;m going to rethink any more donations to the DNC if this is what the donations are turned into. Seriously! This possibility was omitted from my last fund-raising appeal.
Acme? I thought that coyote sued them out of business!
How else am I supposed to get my netflix discs?
Isn&#039;t that what we all thought about Bush/Kerry?
&quot;easy to lead&quot;
Ah, like clockwork: watch a troll pleasure itself at getting the reaction he intended! I am guessing this is related to a lesson you clearly hold tightly on to from your upbringing: &quot;shitting myself makes Mommy pay attention to me!&quot;
Wow, you actually know how <i>humans</i> will react! That must be an amazing trick to the other grunting forest denizens you hang with! You must be like their king or something!
Also, be nice to chromosomes, Trig says.
Continuing the theme:
Bill O&#039;Reilly&#039;s <i>Honorable Discharge</i> (Week-old Falafels with Hot Organic Condiment)
No, I don&#039;t <i>blame</i> you at all. You&#039;re merely the culmination of a long string of very poor decisions made by relatives much farther back than your immediate parents. It is all of our misfortunes to have to endure you, but nobody (but you) can do much about it now.
I really regret kicking you in your tiny penis every time you expose it, because it apparently gets you off. Since I can&#039;t figure out how to make you pay me for the pleasure, so Got industry? Nope.
Wait, that IS a penis, right? It&#039;s not just another dangling fold of skin hanging from your ever sagging abdomen? Check on that and get back to us.
Hey! Got any nonsequitur links to videos that somehow, through magic troll logic, reflect poorly on someone <i>other</i> than those people in the video? That&#039;s what we need right now, Champion of the Internet!
You could market that as an appetite suppressant because you just ruined my lunch.
Worst. Halloween card. Ever.
I&#039;m going to rethink any more donations to the DNC if this is what the donations are turned into. Seriously! This possibility was omitted from my last fund-raising appeal.
And we thought the terrorists were all in al Queda.