Poor Rich People Might Have To Pay Taxes Eventually

• If this doesn't make your blood boil with anger, nothing will: Barack Obama might not give super rich people permanent tax exempt status! If Obama taxes rich people, how are they supposed to create new jobs, in India/China/anywhere but here? At this point it doesn't really even matter. Obama couldn't redistribute the white man's Wealth even if he tried his hardest, since we already live in a terrible Banana Republic in which "the richest 1 percent of Americans now take home almost 24 percent of income." The rest of us squat in bedbug-infested foreclosed condos and eat re-refried beans and McDonald's McSadness sandwiches. And John Boehner might as well take our Social Security too, because most of us won't even live long enough to enjoy our first adult diaper poop -- because who can afford adult diapers? We will just have to poop our pants, and then die. Yay. [ WSJ ]

• Charlie Rangel's corruption hearing begins today! The House Ethics Committee has charged Charlie with thirteen counts of Unethical and/or Rude Behavior, including "failing to pay taxes on a home in the Dominican Republic, misuse of a rent-controlled apartment for political purposes, improper use of government mail service and letterhead" and "being such a snappy dresser" (guilty as charged!). Rangel has stated publicly that he is extremely "stupid" but "not corrupt." So basically he's going with the Blagojevich Defense. [ CNN ]

• Joe Miller's goon squad has challenged about 7,000 write-in ballots, probably because thousands of voters put a little heart above the "i" in Lisa's name, instead of dotting it properly with a skull and crossbones -- or maybe Alaska Latinos voted for "¡Lisa Murkowski!" which is very confusing because isn't the iLisa some sort of wireless Steve Jobs iTrinket? Yes, it is. And that is why determining voter intent is such a tricky business. Murkowski is trailing Miller by 8,820 votes, but ballot tabulation will continue through Wednesday, and Lisa has already received 89 percent of undisputed write-in votes. Uh, if Joe Miller wins, we are moving to the Moon. [ AP ]