Confirmed bachelor and official ladies' man Sen. Lindsey Graham, who is under the impression he is running for president, got asked a real tough question Tuesday: Hey, since you don't have a pretty, doting wife, who will be the First Lady of America when you are president? Graham's answer was very bad! No for serious, this is what he said,
... he could learn from Rock Hudson and his marriage to Phyllis Gates to save his career... everybody in the know knew it was bogus, but it protected his image until almost the end. These days, however... Miz Linz would have to release a sex-tape of him with an actual woman in order for people to believe it. Even then... not sure it would result in his being given the keys to the White House.
"Well, I’ve got a sister, she could play that role if necessary."Graham is not helping the "southern white people like to fuck their sister" stereotype.
Thanks, but to be fair, anytime I write about Lindsey I end on "Suddenly Last Summer". So it's become kind of a mash-up between Tennesee Williams and Kenny from "South Park".
The only other precedent is James Buchanan, our only bachelor President, whose first lady was his niece. Because it wouldn't have been cool to have a guy in that role (He's been rumored to have been gay, and if you want to make having the worst President in U.S. history a point of gay pride, be my guest). Actually a fair number of Presidents were unmarried for parts of their terms and the First Lady role was assumed by daughters, nieces or sisters.
It was a hot summer day. President Lindsey Graham is sitting in his parlor, cleaning his glass figurines. "My, but this Washington heat is so oppressive", he says. "Mother, I do so love my tiny glass menagerie, but sometimes I'm so lonely that even Mr. Pickles the frog can't soothe my sallow spirit". He continues, "I often dream of having a First Lady that I can call mine and mine alone, but I fear my deformity will imprison me in solitude forever."
"Lindsey dear", his mother replied, "I will not hear you calling yourself deformed. No, you simply have eccentric tastes and not unlike that Liberace fellow, you have yet to find the right woman." An idea hits her she exclaims, "I know what we'll do! We will arrange a proper afternoon with a gentle-woman caller. I met a fine lady at a social last week and I am certain she would be a fine First Lady for you. Far better than your sister could ever be"
Unfortunately as his mother is speaking, Lindsey wanders off into the kitchen where he attempts to pick up Jose and three other young, strapping busboys. They react somewhat badly and after chasing him down the hall, poor Lindsey is killed and eaten.
... The Oral Orifice: What A Stump Speech Really Means. (I subtitled it for marketing reasons).
... if only to say... "SEE! I'm not like that! Vote for me!" Yeah, no. My incredulity only stretches so far.
... he could learn from Rock Hudson and his marriage to Phyllis Gates to save his career... everybody in the know knew it was bogus, but it protected his image until almost the end. These days, however... Miz Linz would have to release a sex-tape of him with an actual woman in order for people to believe it. Even then... not sure it would result in his being given the keys to the White House.
"Well, I’ve got a sister, she could play that role if necessary."Graham is not helping the "southern white people like to fuck their sister" stereotype.
I'm sure he already has. ;)
She was banging bill maher. I'm sure it was a dare but still ... *shudder*
Thanks, but to be fair, anytime I write about Lindsey I end on "Suddenly Last Summer". So it's become kind of a mash-up between Tennesee Williams and Kenny from "South Park".
I think his description should be "ladyman" not "ladies man".
Allow me to explain the concept of "camp", which the series had in spades.
Oh, heck, his answer wasn't that bad.
Funny lol
Mitt was OK with it but Rafalca was pissed.
The only other precedent is James Buchanan, our only bachelor President, whose first lady was his niece. Because it wouldn't have been cool to have a guy in that role (He's been rumored to have been gay, and if you want to make having the worst President in U.S. history a point of gay pride, be my guest). Actually a fair number of Presidents were unmarried for parts of their terms and the First Lady role was assumed by daughters, nieces or sisters.
McConnell's pool boy would be even better for Lindsey....just sayin'.
It was a hot summer day. President Lindsey Graham is sitting in his parlor, cleaning his glass figurines. "My, but this Washington heat is so oppressive", he says. "Mother, I do so love my tiny glass menagerie, but sometimes I'm so lonely that even Mr. Pickles the frog can't soothe my sallow spirit". He continues, "I often dream of having a First Lady that I can call mine and mine alone, but I fear my deformity will imprison me in solitude forever."
"Lindsey dear", his mother replied, "I will not hear you calling yourself deformed. No, you simply have eccentric tastes and not unlike that Liberace fellow, you have yet to find the right woman." An idea hits her she exclaims, "I know what we'll do! We will arrange a proper afternoon with a gentle-woman caller. I met a fine lady at a social last week and I am certain she would be a fine First Lady for you. Far better than your sister could ever be"
Unfortunately as his mother is speaking, Lindsey wanders off into the kitchen where he attempts to pick up Jose and three other young, strapping busboys. They react somewhat badly and after chasing him down the hall, poor Lindsey is killed and eaten.
THE END
You can borrow mine. Weirdly enough, it's in a bottle shaped like Michelle Obama in a French maid outfit.