President Obama Declares War On Men

Evil dictator and wager of the REAL war on women Barack Obama has switched it up, just for misandrist funsies, and is now warring on men for a change. He has proclaimed April 14 as National Equal Pay Day, "by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution," which doesn't even apply to him, DUH, does he even pay attention to Senate Republicans at all?

On National Equal Pay Day, we mark how far into the new year women would have to work just to earn the same as men did in the previous year, and we renew our efforts to end this injustice. On average, full-time working women earn 78 cents for every dollar earned by men, and women of color face an even greater disparity. This wage gap puts women at a career-long disadvantage, and it harms families, communities, and our entire economy. Today, in more than half of all households, women are breadwinners -- 49 million children depend on women's salaries. But our economy and our policies have not caught up to this reality. When women experience pay discrimination it limits their future, and it also hurts the people they provide for. It means less for their families' everyday needs, for investments in their children's futures, and for their own retirements. These effects reduce our shared prosperity and restrict our Nation's economic growth. Wage inequality affects us all, and we each must do more to make certain that women are full and equal participants in our economy.

Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah, everyone knows women make less because they choose lower-paying jobs because they just like it like that. And they are too pushy or maybe it is not pushy enough -- Lean In, bitches! -- and also they are stealing jobs from men whoreallyneed paychecks to put food on their families, and haven't you heard about The Great Mancession and the End of Men?

Obviously, President Uncle Sugar has not heard about any of that, because he's still trying to socialize America even harder and redistribute the wealth so women's paychecks will no longer include the "Sorry But You're A Lady Tax":

I continue to call on the Congress to pass the Paycheck Fairness Act to protect all people's fundamental right to a fair wage.

In the last half-century, our economy has changed in many ways for the better because of the increased participation of women. But our values are not yet fully reflected in how we pay women. We tell our daughters that in America there are no limits to what they can achieve -- yet their mothers face persistent barriers to equality and success. We have to do better because our daughters deserve better. If we come together, we can change the policies and attitudes that hold women back, and we can fix this. On this day, we recommit to making equal pay a reality, and we continue our work to build a world where all our children are limited only by the size of their dreams and the power of their imaginations.

So vagina victory bump, ladies, because on this day we celebrate our smaller paychecks, based on medians and averages and such. However, as the American Association of University Women dutifully reports every year, some of us will be waiting a bit longer to celebrate:

• Women in every state experience the pay gap, but some states are worse than others.

  The best place in the United States for pay equity is Washington DC, where women were paid 91 percent of what men were paid in 2013. At the other end of the spectrum is Louisiana, the worst state in the country for pay equity, where women were paid just 66 percent of what men were paid.

• The pay gap is worse for women of color. 

  The gender pay gap affects all women, but for women of color the pay shortfall is worse. Asian American women’s salaries show the smallest gender pay gap, at 90 percent of white men’s earnings. Hispanic women’s salaries show the largest gap, at 54 percent of white men’s earnings. White men are used as a benchmark because they make up the largest demographic group in the labor force.

• Women face a pay gap in nearly every occupation. 

  From elementary and middle school teachers to computer programmers , women are paid less than men in female-dominated, gender-balanced, and male-dominated occupations .

• The pay gap grows with age.

  Women typically earn about 90 percent of what men are paid until they hit 35. After that median earnings for women are typically 75–80 percent of what men are paid.

So if you are an over-35 Latina working in Louisiana, you can celebrate your paycheck equality day the month after never. But that's just because of your dumb life choices. Maybe in your next life, you'll know better, and choose to be a white dude instead.

[White House email / American Association of University Women ]