President Of United States Meets Queens-Born Usurper To Help Arrange Smooth Erasure Of Legacy

Smartest man in the room

President-elect (barf emoji) Donald Trump met with President Barack Obama at the White House today to discuss the transition of power from the Obama Administration to the New Trump Order, meeting for over 90 minutes during what was initially scheduled as a 15-minute meet and greet. It is unknown what portion of the meeting involved Trump looking up all the big words Obama used. It's entirely possible at least 30 minutes were devoted to dissuading Trump from ending the meeting by insisting on calling the executive mansion the White-Again House.

Mr Trump said many nice words about Mr. Obama, possibly because his staff is keeping him heavily medicated this week, saying he had "great respect" for President Obama and calling him a "very fine man" whose "counsel" he would seek in the future. Trump will no doubt later insist he was joking, and that he meant he looked forward to hearing Obama's legal counsel defend him before he's sent to jail for Doing Bad Things. Still, Trump is working very hard at pretending he can be Presidential, at least until he's actually got the "biscuit" with the nuclear codes in his pocket:

"I very much look forward to dealing with the president in the future, including counsel," Trump said. "He's -- he explained some of the difficulties, some of the high-flying assets, and some of the really great things that have been achieved."

Obama described it as an "excellent conversation" and "wide-ranging" -- from how to organizationally set up a White House to foreign and domestic policy.

Mr. Obama made it through the post-meeting press appearance without using the phrase "choking back bile" even once. The two even shook hands without any reports of Trump surreptitiously glancing down to compare the length of their fingers.

In a signal of things to come, Trump refused to allow a press pool to accompany him as he traveled from New York to Washington to meet the president; most presidents-elect in the modern era have allowed press pool access immediately upon winning the election, probably because prior presidents were weak and refused to tell reporters their place until now. SAD! Once inside the White House, Trump did at least tolerate the press's presence, at least while the Kenyan guy lives there.

Obama did the whole graciousness thing, as of course you'd expect him to, pretending for the sake of the country that Trump, as president-elect, automatically gets some respect. This is because Barack Obama has far better manners than we do:

"I believe that it is important for all of us, regardless of party and regardless of political preferences, to now come together, work together to deal with the many challenges that we face," Obama said, adding that he wanted Trump and his wife Melania, the incoming first lady, to feel "welcome" as they make the transition.

"And most of all," Obama continued, "I want to emphasize to you, Mr. President-elect, that we now are going to want to do everything we can to help you succeed, because if you succeed, then the country succeeds."

We're happy to take the credit if we eventually learn Mr. Obama was persuaded to be nice to Trump by our advice that ass-kissing is the best wayto manipulate him. The most telling image of the day didn't involve either the POTUS or the "PEOTUS," as NPR abbreviated Mr. Trump's title on Twitter. That honor goes to this photo of WH staff listening toObama's remarks on the election yesterday, and posted on the Tweetorz today by British Person Emma Kennedy:  

 
 That's 'we' as in 'Today we are all these people'

Mr. Trump will no doubt request a meeting with FBI tech experts to use facial-recognition software to find and prosecute everyone pictured above.

In a separate, private meeting, First Lady Michelle Obama met privately with Melania Trump, who just repeated everything Michelle said back to her for the entire 90 minutes. It is believed Ms. Obama offered Ms. Trump a tour of the White House Kitchen Garden, but Melania declined, insisting "I get al ler gic smelling hay."

[ NPR / NBC New York ]