President Stable Genius Knows Where 'Nipple' Is. DO U?

'I'll take Catch The Semen for $500, Trebek.'

Anybody want to talk about the conniption Grandpappy Hamster Dick is having on Twitter right now? Us neither! This post is about how your president is a fucking idiot whose brain doesn't even work, but there's no need to talk about his tweets right now. The only way this post relates to that is that this morning he has twice sent and twice deleted tweets that referred to the "special councel," because he absolutely refuses to learn how that word is spelled.

Fucking moron.

Let's talk about how Donald Trump didn't know what "Nepal" was, and when he saw it on a map, he called it "Nipple."

Politico very kindly calls its deep dive -- which is about how the president is a dipshit with a bad brain who made it to age 72 without learning even basic knowledge by sheer force of arrogance, ignorance, and fundamental incuriosity -- Trump's "diplomatic learning curve." It's not a learning curve, it's just that he's pathetic:

In one case, Trump, while studying a briefer's map of South Asia ahead of a 2017 meeting with India's prime minister, mispronounced Nepal as "nipple" and laughingly referred to Bhutan as "button," according to two sources with knowledge of the meeting. [...]

"He didn't know what those were. He thought it was all part of India," said one person familiar with the meeting. "He was like, 'What is this stuff in between and these other countries?'"

Haha! Button! What's that behind your ear, young man? Is it a small Asian nation called "Button"? Oh boy the president cracks himself up!

Also, one time Trump made up a country called "Nambia." He didn't say it was close to "Nipple" though, because that's just not geographically accurate.

When Trump finally met with Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, he allegedly was like "Yo where's your wife" and when he was told that actually the prime minister and his wife are separated, he said, "Ah, I think I can set him up with somebody." Isn't that adorable? President Pussgrab gonna get the Indian prime minister laid! Also, we missed this Washington Post   reporting from January, but apparently he thinks it's funny to make fun of the prime minister's accent, because he's a pig.

Politico explains how Trump is either ignorant of time zones or is so inconsiderate of foreign leaders' beauty sleep he doesn't care about time zones, which leads him to try to make embarrassing phone calls to foreign leaders when they are sleeping, as opposed to the embarrassing phone calls he makes to them when they are awake. He especially loves to call French president Emmanuel Macron, but not even for reasons! No, he just wants to call and say "I was just thinking about you" and "No you hang up first" and stuff like that:

Trump has what one former Trump national security official calls a "bizarre" fascination with calling French President Emmanuel Macron. "He wanted to talk to him constantly. ... Macron would be like: 'Hey, what are we talking about?' These are very busy people. You don't just call to check in," the official said. (The White House official said Macron has requested a majority of the calls.)

The White House is a damn liar. Trump's obsession with Macron is well documented. 

The rest of the article is mostly Trump refusing to learn important facts before big meetings, for instance that Japan and China have a pretty intense rivalry. You know, just stuff literally every American president learns if they didn't know it already, so they can do their motherfucking jobs.

This Politico article is a nice addition to the ever-growing Trump Is The Stupidest Man Alive file. Think Progress catalogues a few others, like that time he thought Belgium was just a really nice "city," and the time he got the Koreas mixed up in his little shitbrain. Wonkette is also reminded of how President Gargantuan Brain thinks the F-35 airplane is literally invisible -- he talked about it yet again on Monday as he signed a defense bill named after John McCain, but somehow managed not to mention McCain.

We're also reminded of how excited he is about Space Force, the force that will be in space, because how can you be president of space if you don't have a space force?

And finally, who can forget that time Trump asked former White House doctor Drunky McPillPusher to give him a test to prove he has a bigly brain, and the president BRAGGED AND BRAGGED about how goodly he did on that test. He got a 30 out of 30, which means NO QUESTIONS WRONG! It was the Montreal Cognitive Assessment, and the fact he got a gold star on it meant he was able to correctly identify which one in this picture is "camel":

Clearly the camel is on the right, and the other two are "nipple" and "button," respectively.

Flawless victory!

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[ Politico ]