Mitt Romney has so many children, he must like sexytime at least a little bit, right? No. Mitt Romney is so prim and sexless, his wife actually had to "be the man" when they made the pregnancies. (Weird religious stuff, never mind.) But Mitt Romney does love money! It is the only thing he has ever loved, in fact. This is why he will take piles of dirty porn money from the publisher of sexy 1970s magazine
Hey, say what you like about the tenets of Lunar Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
Dear Mitt Romney,
I never thought I'd find myself writing to a politician, but the most incredible thing happened...
Maybe Mitt will get a job at AdultPresidentFinder.com when this is all over.