20 Comments
User's avatar
Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

So basically, money really IS the root of all evil, not because it makes people do all that sinny stuff, but because it undermines natural selection and/or throat punchings.

Expand full comment
TK's avatar

Thanks for the racial insight, (((Ms. Schoenkopf))).

"Dude, fuck that noise."

I will gently encourage you to quit appropriating black argot. Thank you in advance.

Expand full comment
SullivanSt's avatar

He's asked to do his damned job, and he invokes the 8th amendment. So, by Scalia's book waterboarding and nipple electrocution are just fine, but a little light reading in large fonts, double-spaced with wide margins is cruel and unusual punishment? Our editrix doesn't want me to explain what I'm ideating right now.

On a lighter note, though, I bet Kagan's a blast at parties. A couple of her quips made me laugh reading the day 2 transcript, and I see she got a nice jab back at Scalia today ;)

Expand full comment
BarackMyWorld's avatar

Alt-text apology accepted. All is forgiven.

Expand full comment
Dashboard Buddha's avatar

Turd pops out, turd is flushed down. You can't explain it.

Expand full comment
Dashboard Buddha's avatar

<i>Ratings!! </i>

And that my friend, is where the 24 news cycle ate us whole. Those 24 hours need to be filled with something...something that will generate ad revenue. Facts and sober reporting aren't <i>sensational</i> enough to do the job. Enter the pundits to get people frothed up and planted on their sofa, watching ads.

Historians in the future (be they human or cockroach or alien) will look at the inception of the 24 hour news cycle as the beginning of the end.

Expand full comment
chascates's avatar

See his side of it, people! Whenever Tuckster hears about <i>black</i> people it's because they've been killed, let out of prison, or are involved in politics! Of those in politics, some regular 'black-face' GOP folks (4 or 5) and the rest crazy, victim-lovin' moochers!

He went to St. George's School for chrissake! So give the little bow-tied wearing poseur a break! Or at the very least a compound fracture.

Expand full comment
chascates's avatar

Adopting one who's an heiress is the only way to go!

Expand full comment
fuflans's avatar

i would like to know who takes pictures of poo.

Expand full comment
Joshua Norton's avatar

Maybe it’s best for Tucker to wank high-mindedly in one of Romney's quiet rooms, and leave the real discussion to people who’ve been mugged by right-wing reality.

Expand full comment
PubOption's avatar

Hispanic people can indeed be either white or black, consider Sammy Sosa for an example.

Expand full comment
chascates's avatar

I'll confess I don't watch teevee and only know of Carlson from the web. So I checked out Wikipedia to get the lowdown and he certainly seems like a one-percentor! <i>Carlson grew up wealthy in Carlsbad, a suburb of San Diego. He is the elder son of Richard Warner Carlson, a former Los Angeles news anchor and U.S. ambassador to the Seychelles who was president of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and director of Voice of America.[3] His adopted mother is Patricia Caroline Swanson (born 1945), former wife of Howard Feldman and an heiress to the Swanson food-conglomerate fortune.[3][4] He has a brother, Buckley Swanson Peck Carlson.[5][6] A great-uncle was Sen. J. William Fulbright.[4] He attended St. George's School, a boarding school in Newport, Rhode Island. After graduation, he majored in History at Trinity College in Hartford, Connecticut. He is married to Susan Carlson, née Andrews. They have four children: Lillie, Hopie, Dorothy, and Buckley</i> He named one child 'Hopie' and another 'Buckle'?

Expand full comment
ValiumNation's avatar

Hmmm, I find it much easier to take Tucker seriously since he got rid of the bow t...oh hey! It's a turd in a toilet! Hahaha! Tucker, you are a fvckin turd!!

Expand full comment
Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

"What is the color of lightly toasted poisoned rat dicks, Alex"

Expand full comment
Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

He's not very good at it though.

Expand full comment
fuflans's avatar

i wish self immolation was a traditional american value.

Expand full comment