368 Comments
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Doktor Zoom's avatar

All credit for the classic Wonkette shopping list goes to Rebecca. I thought of using it, but she hopped in and replaced the far less funny "list" illustration I'd picked.

Clearly the HAARP WEATHER CONTROL CHEMTRAILS synchronized our BRAINS in a JEDI MIND MELD

And if the joke is new to you, OH BOY ARE YOU LUCKY! Genuine Wonkette lore!

https://www.wonkette.com/p/1-real-america-grocery-list-discovered-in-walmart

Mary O'Shegetz's avatar

"D'you cedar cheese anywhere? " "Oh, ya, I cedar cheese over der! Now where are dose cakes we like?"

Ian's avatar

"cakes we like" has lived in my head rent free ever since.

SoBe Smirched's avatar

Right up there with the Palin Family Brawl depiction.

I think of them both frequently and immediately start giggling.

The good ol’ days.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Peace cigs be on both of you.

Chemical's avatar

I've been here for years, and finally -- FINALLY -- get the "cakes we like" meme.

🍁 L Ron Pony's avatar

It's been around a LONG time.

D-Dub's avatar

How many wonkette memes do you know?

All of them, Katie.

C&A Bongo Man's avatar

1 musturd?

Yes, indeed. One must.

Cajun Kid's avatar

For even thinking about it:

YOU MONSTER!

🍁 L Ron Pony's avatar

Entirely different etymology.

Khavrinen's avatar

( That came later. )

Antifa Commander's avatar

Oy, the more you look, the more misspellings pop out. white Kasuls? spegetti? stuf? HOW DO YOU MISSPELL "STUFF?"

Caepan's avatar

How could someone ever misspell the word "pasketti"?

funnyhaha's avatar

I think one of my favorite things is the two misspellings of spaghetti. And that "tamatoes" makes the list twice.

funnyhaha's avatar

We've enjoyed "cedar cheese" and "cakes we like" but we really have been neglecting our tamatoes, patatoes, cerial, speggetti, and bannas. Surely the Wonkette Lexicon is broad enough for those.

Emil Muz's avatar

I am in constant revision mode on my own unofficial guide...

Khavrinen's avatar

I also like the combination of "winnies and hot dog buns".

Brack's avatar

Oh no! I read this as "winnies that dog loves" and got all happy for a minute. Will no one think of the poor dog?

Khavrinen's avatar

Hopefully they'll share some of the cedar cheese with it.

( The dog I had as a child was a real cheese snob; wouldn't eat ordinary stuff, only fancy expensive varieties. )

Plain Marie's avatar

Oo, like my child. Either store brand Mac and cheese or pricy white cheddar.

ResistanceFictionistaBlondeIQ's avatar

The food of my people. Well, the potato part, anyway.

Parakeetist's avatar

So that's where "Cakes we like" comes from!

Other than our awesome baker lady, of course. :)

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Leave it on the plank long enough and many cheeses could become 'cedar cheese'.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

I conifer with this non comment.

rags's avatar

Gave me a hearty larch

D-Dub's avatar

it really spruces up your burger!

belfryo's avatar

Makes you pine for more!

Antifa Commander's avatar

I'm pining for one right now!

D-Dub's avatar

Oh don't bring out that old chestnut.

Edgar Allen Shmoe's avatar

I finally understand the “cakes we like” joke!

"M"'s avatar

I snort-laughed at CEDAR CHEESE 🧀

Owlftr13's avatar

Nazis, I hate those guys! -- Henry Jones Jr.

Owlftr13's avatar

Nazis, I hate those guys! -- Henry Jones Jr.

BrianW's avatar

"He described the project as “the most prestigious international investigative operation in the world.”"

"[Howell] added that “we’re better journalists by any standard than The New York Times.”"

Oh Dunning-Kruger, you are a harsh, but not unfair, mistress.

skinnercitycyclist's avatar

"Prestigious."

Paging Inigo Montoya.

AIB's avatar

Three unethical assholes use a law designed to increase the transparency of government to make government workers dance like puppets in the hopes of destroying our — our — government. They would not be able to do that without wealthy donors.

insert_something_creative's avatar

I think transparency is important, but these fucking assholes are clearly abusing the system. I don't know what the exact solution would be, maybe limiting the number of FOIA requests submitted by one person for a specific period of time? Whatever the solution, they shouldn't be able to weaponize the system like this because it is very clear they are doing it for malicious purposes. They are not even trying to pretend these are legitimate requests. Establishing some sort of limits on their ability to do this helps protect government workers from the MAGA mob who we know love to send death threats to any perceived "enemies."

fuflans's avatar

omg omg omg omg doc i haven't seen that in SO long. it's like fucking poetry. i want to do a recording of it (only i hear it in the 1920's sonorous male poet voice and i'm not that).

thank you!

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Dok. Let's elect Harris-Walz, and spirit the Heritage Foundation into the cornfield of shame, where they all belong. This is not why FOIA exists, and I have sympathy and pity for the bureaucrats who have to handle this.

Queen Méabh's avatar

I don't think that "mass firings of anyone in the federal workforce who isn’t loyal to that president’s ideology" is going to work out the way they think it is going to work out, not unless they murder everyone who isn't loyal. There are about 20 million civil service employees, and you know at least half of them are not Republicans, possibly even more than that, so they can't lock up 10 million people because there aren't enough cops to do it, and not enough prison cells, and it would clog up the judicial system for years. I also don't think they can get away with murdering 10 million people either, 'cause someone would notice. They really don't think this stuff through, do they?

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Nothing says “freedom” like an ideological purge.

PRW's avatar

'Among the documents they’ve sought are lists of agency personnel and messages sent by individual government workers that mention [...] “SOGIE,”' Hm, SOGIE you say? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDEqgmGIVg

Brianna Amore's avatar

If Trump gets reelected we're going to see a cultural revolution that will make Mao look like an amateur.

SethTriggs's avatar

Time is drawing near folks to defeat these fascist godbotherers.

30-day deadlines are coming up in several states. Is your registration intact?

www.vote.org

www.iwillvote.com

Remember, Republicans know your vote is powerful...that's why they try to prevent you from doing it!

Mount up!

Mr. Foobar's avatar

Got my ballot today!

Runfastandwin's avatar

“we’re better journalists by any standard than The New York Times.” Well that's a low bar...

Notreelyhelping's avatar

Maybe they could tweak their software so that, whenever Heritage has a FOIA request, it goes to the bottom of the pile.

“Oh sorry, we just haven’t worked down that far. We get an awful lot of requests, you know.”

LoCoJo's avatar

Maybe there should be a dedicated team that only processes Heritage FOIA requests. Say, two part timers who are really slow and are bad typists.

Hey, I could do that job!

Wondering Woman's avatar

Not my heritage to be a nosy bastard and snoop through people's emails to find things that are offensive to conservative assholes. Which is pretty much everything. Can’t we get HF designated as a hate group?