381 Comments

Hey, Newt! Cut it open and count the rings. There can't be more than 6,000 of them.

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How's he gonna get the Mexicans to pay for the wall after it's done? Even hookers know to get the money up front.

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Graeter's Kentucky Bourbon Chocolate Chip.

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You can fold sheets, and you can fold space, but you can't fold ice cream. Ice cream is scooped.

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The show could get ratings below re-runs of My Mother the Car and NBC would not dare cancel for fear of being cut off from pressers. Oh, wait....

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I will worry about such things when Ms. Gnome stops in the middle of sex and exclaims, "My God! It looks like this sheet wasn't properly folded after it came out of the dryer."

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Tell her not to worry her pretty little head about it and offer to take her shopping.

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I don't think that's true of the current crop who came in starting in 2010. They know how to win elections: Throw shit-tons of money in negative ads at the opponent. As far as the actual mechanics of governance, I don't think they're that far from the average low-information voter, because they had no prior government experience before they ran for Congress or Senate.

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Any businessman dumb enough to pay $24 for a cocktail is too stupid to be anywhere near my money. Hell, we got the entire island of Manhattan for that.

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China might offer a low interest loan.

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Methinks Fuckface von Clownstick is more afraid of V. Putin than the American intelligence agencies.

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Is Tod even mobile himself these days?

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And the Enquirer appreciates it. They're still going full-tilt Hillary is the most dangerous criminal ever to roam the planet.

Oh, and, evidently, Bill has some sort of wasting, untreatable illness. Too bad, so sad.

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I stopped in an adult bookstore (when those were still a thing) to make a purchase, and they were promoting a porn star, who was autographing copies of her movies and having pics taken with fans. She was naked, and she didn't have a single hair on her body below her lower eyelashes. It looks strange in real life.

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You know how I know the country is fucked? Because Rand Paul, John McCain, and Miss Lindsey are starting to look like the voices of reason!

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Kinda OT, but everytime Donnie stumbles through LGBTQ, I always think he has to stop and mentally tell himself not to say BLT.

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