Rachel Dolezal Quits NAACP, Will Continue Fight For Her People, Whoever They Are

Rachel Dolezal, the head of the Spokane, Washington, chapter of the NAACP, has resigned her post after her parents said late last week that she is not so much a black woman as she is White Like They. The whole story has had a lot of people saying, "Huh! That's weird!" and has resulted in both some fine thinky pieces about how exactly Dolezal got it wrong, as well as some premium stupid about why there's no such thing as transgender people, because gender and race are exactly the same, and you can't fake either. And now Rachel Dolezal is well on her way to becoming a footnote in a whole bunch of dissertations.

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Her resignation announcement, on the Facebooks, is an interesting combination of notpology and self-promotion; mostly, she emphasizes what an important job the Spokane NAACP does, how its mission is so much larger than all this fuss about her personal identity, and also some gratuitous self-fluffing:

I am delighted that so many organizations and individuals have supported and collaborated with the Spokane NAACP under my leadership to grow this branch into one of the healthiest in the nation in 5 short months. In the eye of this current storm, I can see that a separation of family and organizational outcomes is in the best interest of the NAACP.

It is with complete allegiance to the cause of racial and social justice and the NAACP that I step aside from the Presidency and pass the baton to my Vice President, Naima Quarles-Burnley. It is my hope that by securing a beautiful office for the organization in the heart of downtown, bringing the local branch into financial compliance, catalyzing committees to do strategic work in the five Game Changer issues, launching community forums, putting the membership on a fast climb, and helping many individuals find the legal, financial and practical support needed to fight race-based discrimination, I have positioned the Spokane NAACP to buttress this transition.

Tl;dr: the Spokane NAACP is pretty terrific, I did a lot as leader, and now there's a lot of important work for you people to do while I try to disappear. She assures us that she'll "never stop fighting for human rights," which is better than pledging she's going to go live with the Aryans in North Dakota. She also says, in her resignation statement, "This is not me quitting; this is a continuum." So she's clearly just as in touch with reality as ever. Then there's some inspiring stuff about how the black struggle continues -- thank god, no "I've been to the mountaintop" references -- and she is outta there. It is not yet known whether she will face terrorism charges for blowing up the internet over the weekend.

So we guess what this means is that by stepping aside, Rachel Dolezal has spared America from the specter of a world where nobody knows what anyone else really is, and has pushed back the day when, as Fox Newspsychoticpsychiatrist Keith Ablow warned Monday, white children will start demanding their parents take them to the hospital to get trans-racial tattoos or something.

Ablow really out-Ablows himself here:

Let me pose another question: if I believe in my soul that I'm a 65-year-old -- I happen to be 53 -- if I believe I'm 65, I say it to my doctor, I feel it in my core, can I apply for Medicare? Now you may think that that's funny, 'cause it is, but I've asked more than one attorney who's says "That's not funny, given the transgender case law, you may have a point."

That truly is a frightening thought -- Yr Dok Zoom is just a few days short of being the same age as Keith Ablow! Oh, and liberals are absolutely all on board with this "trans-age" thing Ablow just pulled out of his ass, and after that, who knows? Everything could just go Transwacky, and people will start marrying their parakeets! What it's all really about, explains Dr. Keith Ablow, is that there are a lot of sick people out there who aren't as well-adjusted as Dr. Keith Ablow:

And, someone might claim that Caitlyn Jenner chose her identity, or his depending on the way people see it, based on wanting to get on the cover of magazines because that person is addicted to fame. That's a very dangerous position to take if you object to lots of threats which, of course, I’ve gotten based on some of my comments. Because the liberal element in this country is very much in this trans-race kind of moment or trans-age.

And so, believe me, they’re bringing kids over to Boston General hospital, probably today, who think they may be of alternate gender and they will inject them with hormones around puberty time to prevent puberty. Don’t be surprised if some child says, “I was born Caucasian and I’m Black,” and if you see them being tattooed, I told you so.

Please, no one threaten Keith Ablow for feeling, deep in his soul, that he is a far less stupid human being than he clearly is. He needs our understanding, not our judgment. It's just who he is. The poor fucking idiot.

[ BBC / Awesomely Luvvie / Spokane NAACP on Facebook / Fox & Friends ]