</center>Wonkette is pleased to report that we officially exist on the internet, after years of relying on strangers to notice us wearing Wonkette T-shirts and carrying Wonkette tote bags (available in the <a href="http: //wonkettebazaar.com/shop/" target="_blank">Wonkette Sweat Shop</a> for the low, low price of "money"!) and crinkle their eyebrows like maybe they recognize that logo from somewhere. <p>Rachel Maddow opened her show Tuesday night like she always does, with a long professorial segment to teach us important knowledge about the world we live in, and this time it was devoted to how Republicans LOVE Donald Trump, no matter what gross things he says about <a href="https://wonkette.substack.com/p/donald-trump-farts-out-yoogest-classiest-presidential-campaign-from-his-butt" target="_blank">Mexicans being rapists,</a> or Megyn Kelly <a href="https://wonkette.substack.com/p/donald-trump-why-was-megyn-kelly-moderating-a-debate-instead-of-in-the-blood-hut" target="_blank">having her lady period</a> on the debate stage, or any other nasty thing that comes out of his <a href="https://wonkette.substack.com/p/donald-trump-who-owns-everything-but-a-mirror-called-heidi-klum-ugly" target="_blank">appleheaded vagina mouth.</a> Why? Because completely aside from ideology, Republican voters are ASSHOLES. </p><hr/><p>In fact, a poll was just released, which found that not only is Donald Trump the FIRST choice for Republican asshole primary voters, he is also the SECOND choice for the assholes who didn't pick him the first time around. This led yr Wonkette's Doktor Zoom to write a beautiful headline that said <a href="https://wonkette.substack.com/p/republicans-want-trump-and-if-not-him-then-maybe-trump-would-do" target="_blank">"Republicans Want Trump, And If Not Him, Then Maybe Trump Would Do."</a> </p><p>And guess who loved that beautiful classy headline? Rachel Maddow loved it! It made her giggle and laugh, and then she read the sexxxy story about Donald Trump, and she giggled some more about the paragraph what said this: </p><p/><blockquote>[A]t this point, people are simply barking “Trump! Trump, Trump, TRUMP!” at anything a pollster asks. The New York real estate developer was also named Americans’ favorite flavor of ice cream, most likely to win the World Series, and preferred method of contraception.</blockquote> <p>SEE? Look right here: </p><p><a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17678498/origin.jpg"><img id="cd49b" data-rm-shortcode-id="dab137493a17e1cee39379896f2f5ca2" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY3ODQ5OC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTcxODk3ODQ2MX0.qKD6EezzJiTbmTz_iWmAWsMK_5_DvGvXe4meuT7Fd6s/img.jpg?width=980" /></a> Look, right there, you can see how it says "Wonkette" and "Doktor Zoom"! WE ARE NOT MAKING SHIT UP. </p><p>[contextly_sidebar id="1Ll9ZO0AszywStt54iyojLcbSjs9EVpx"] </p><p>So there you have it! Yr Wonkette would like to thank Rachel Maddow for telling us that we are real, and also for the little traffic bump we got last night when she said our name on the television. We'd also like to gently suggest (JUST SAYING) to her that, you know, if it was ever a slow news day and she needed one of us (Evan lives closest to New York, if it's a pissing contest) to come on the show and help her viewers understand how to make dirty jokes about politics, or maybe just needed a special Weekly Wonkette segment for her viewers to get excited about, we probably would be willing to do that, IF SHE ASKED NICELY. </p><p>Or if she just wanted to go to brunch with us, that would be fine too, whatever. </p><p>[<a href="http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show" target="_blank">Rachel Maddow Show</a>]</p>
Ahhh, yes, I remember those halcyon days of yesteryear! When all it took to be lionized was timing and the temerity to copy someone else's joke that had little or nothing to do with the post, and then paste it verbatim as the very first comment.
Attacking and bullying people when they called you out on it didn't hurt, either.
Regarding corrections, I remain convinced that a big reason why Actor212 commented as quickly and as frequently as he did back then was because he derived some sort of perverse joy from locking down others' mistakes.
Thanks a lot! Almost choked when they caught Carson working on the jigsaw puzzle. Don't watch this while eating. Laughing and eating can kill you (public service announcement) .
Thank you! I thought this was you, but another commenter who showed up a short time after all that with a "DrV#####" nym always threw me off.
Now, edit that reply, friend, before it happens again. (And it very well could — certain otherwise intelligent people still prefer lies to the truth, sadly.)
I thought the same once, and then I too was murdered. So many ruined lives in that senseless war, and all it took for the instigator to win it was some insincere ass kissing and a case of crappy wine.
Wow, good memory! La signora Quarantanova prefers La Perla from NancyMeyer.com, whose website is quite nice.
I was an early casualty in that conflict and missed its denouement, preferring to sulk in my tent for about six months, imagining I could quit Wonkette.
La Signora has impeccable taste. That is quite a nice website, indeed, and you therefor may not hear from me again soon.
(It's just as well that you were in your tent – that shit got really ugly, to a libelous degree. Still is, in a way, as far as I'm concerned. But sheer lingerie makes everything a bit better. Ciao!)
I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the chat cave...
Ahhh, yes, I remember those halcyon days of yesteryear! When all it took to be lionized was timing and the temerity to copy someone else's joke that had little or nothing to do with the post, and then paste it verbatim as the very first comment.
Attacking and bullying people when they called you out on it didn't hurt, either.
Regarding corrections, I remain convinced that a big reason why Actor212 commented as quickly and as frequently as he did back then was because he derived some sort of perverse joy from locking down others' mistakes.
Thanks a lot! Almost choked when they caught Carson working on the jigsaw puzzle. Don't watch this while eating. Laughing and eating can kill you (public service announcement) .
V572625694. Had to change it when Barb declared a jihad on me.
Transylvania 6-5000.
TOO FUNNY!
Yes, Wonkette & Maddow. Like toast and jam, like burgers and fries, like cake and ice cream. All the good things in life.
Generally the one who LEAVES last has to pay.
She must have a place to crash in NYC, though.
It's getting a bit crowded in here.
OMG! OMG! OMG! I should like to give Wonkette ALL my monies now! This is very exciting :-)
Thank you! I thought this was you, but another commenter who showed up a short time after all that with a "DrV#####" nym always threw me off.
Now, edit that reply, friend, before it happens again. (And it very well could — certain otherwise intelligent people still prefer lies to the truth, sadly.)
Which reply? I have nothing to hide, General Alexander Admiral Rogers!
I thought the same once, and then I too was murdered. So many ruined lives in that senseless war, and all it took for the instigator to win it was some insincere ass kissing and a case of crappy wine.
Still a Victoria's Secret fan?
Wow, good memory! La signora Quarantanova prefers La Perla from NancyMeyer.com, whose website is quite nice.
I was an early casualty in that conflict and missed its denouement, preferring to sulk in my tent for about six months, imagining I could quit Wonkette.
La Signora has impeccable taste. That is quite a nice website, indeed, and you therefor may not hear from me again soon.
(It's just as well that you were in your tent – that shit got really ugly, to a libelous degree. Still is, in a way, as far as I'm concerned. But sheer lingerie makes everything a bit better. Ciao!)