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Rand Paul So Mad House Intelligence Committee Let Hillary Clinton Write Benghazi Report
Hey, remember how the House Intelligence Committee rather sheepishly released its Great Big Benghazi Report after 5 on the Friday before Thanksgiving, so that nobody would pay too much attention to its investigation's total failure to find any evidence of conspiracy, cover-up, stand-down orders, or any of the most popular rightwing myths about Benghazi? Remember that? It was a whole week and a few days ago, and it seemed to us, for a few hours, like maybe the right would just cherry-pick one or two things out of the report and then completely ignore it.
How wrong we were! As it turns out, the Benghazi-Foxdustrial Complex decided that the report couldn't merely be ignored -- it had to be shown to be part of the Benghazi cover-up, because it makes perfect sense that House Republicans just gave up on looking for The Truth and are now suddenly in league with the ambassador-murdering, soldier-betraying, stand-down-order-issuing malefactors in the White House.
Fortunately, Sen. Rand Paul, who would very much like to be President of Teamerica, knows exactly who to blame for the House Intelligence Committee's failures: Hillary Clinton. In a Very Important Think Piece published Monday at Dead Breitbart's Home For Perpetual Flogging of Deceased Equines, Paul took issue with one of the report's central findings -- that there was "no intelligence failure prior to the attacks" in Benghazi -- and says that "this one sentence tells us how seriously we should take this report." Because, says Paul, the attack on the diplomatic compound in Benghazi "was, in fact, one of the worst intelligence failures in our history," which we suppose puts it right up there with the failure to anticipate the attack on Pearl Harbor, the Gulf of Tonkin non-incident, the decision to not read a memo titled "Bin Ladin Determined to Strike In U.S.," and the assumption that invading Iraq would be a cakewalk. And did you know that four Americans died? Benghazi is in fact unique among American intelligence failures, because certainly none of those other events resulted in the deaths of exactly four Americans.
You see, what the House Intelligence report failed to recognize is that the "ultimate blame lies with the Obama administration and more directly with Hillary Clinton who oversaw this tragedy during her tenure as Secretary of State." And Rand Paul is not planning on running for president against any of the nobodies on the House Intelligence Committee, but he's damn sure planning to run against Hillary Clinton. So obviously, she's really to blame for the Intelligence Committee's abject failure to find her responsible for Benghazi.
Paul (or whoever really wrote the piece for him, possibly Wikipedia) notes that the Associated Press said the report had largely debunked most conspiracy claims about Benghazi, finding that "there was no intelligence failure, no delay in sending a CIA rescue team, no missed opportunity for a military rescue, and no evidence the CIA was covertly shipping arms from Libya to Syria.”
To which he replies, in effect, oh yeah? After all, there's all these great reports from Fox News that say otherwise -- is the House Intelligence Committee calling Rand Paul's friends at Fox liars? By golly, he's not going to let Hillary Clinton get away with that, either!
When Clinton was asked during her Benghazi testimony almost two years ago who first floated the story about an anti-Islamic video supposedly being the catalyst for the attacks, she shot back, “What difference at this point does it make?”
It makes a huge difference, Mrs. Clinton. All of these questions make a difference—about your judgment and the basic competency of this administration. They make a difference to the families of the victims.
They make a difference to the American people who deserve to know the truth.
We suppose we could mention that the House report actually identified who first suggested that the anti-Islamic video played a role in the attacks: the CIA. And also, just maybe, everybody who commented on the attacks in the days right after Sept. 11, 2012 -- including Mitt Romney -- seeing as how the video did spark actual attacks on the American embassy in Egypt the same day, a minor detail that seems to have vanished from the Right's collective memory.
Obviously, now that the Senate is in Republican hands, it's time to get to the bottom of this: How did Hillary Clinton subvert the House Intelligence Committee into doing her bidding? Rand Paul vows he will not rest until he gets some answers. After that, he's planning on re-opening the investigation into what really happened to Vince Foster.