83 Comments

"We won in Iraq, when it serves my xenophobic point, but Obama lost in Iraq, when it serves my Obama-bashing point.

Because really, I can tell the Republican voters literally anything, even if it contradicts something I just said, because it doesn't matter really, they'll vote for the person with the R behind their name."

Expand full comment

... Republicans and "independents"... Don't forget the "independents". "They" love them some Rand Paul.

Expand full comment

He's got a point. We let people from Alabama and South Carolina travel freely and actually live in the non-treasonous states.

Expand full comment

My judgment for GOP candidates tends to be bad because I usually examine and interpret based upon which one I figure is the least insane (2012, I thought Huntsman would do well) so for this election I'm thinking either Kasich or because he can easily step into Trumps shoes as an East Coast loudmouth: Christie. Neither will win, of course...

Expand full comment

Hey according to these guys Somalia is a paradise and so is Messico's government model so maybe what we define as an unstable, ruined country that Europeans (and Americans) fucked over is to these guys the very model of an ideal state....

Expand full comment

Who wants "Trump Lite" when you can get the 200 proof original?

Expand full comment

wait...you have a republican friend? You sure this isn't just a co-worker or a guy you see at the bar sometimes?

Expand full comment

not that we would recognize. It's more like reptile mating.

Expand full comment

Considering where he's from, Randy should probably be a little happier when the US shows generosity to the losers of a conflict.

Asshole.

Expand full comment

When your constituents are idiots, you can't do or say anything smrt or you will lose them.

Expand full comment

Trump? But has Trump ever asked forgiveness from the Bibble?

Expand full comment

Can I just sum everything up here because I don't have time to catch up on every brilliant Wonkette post; I want to dope slap anyone voting for a Repub because stupid?

Expand full comment

"I believe it means peace in our time!"

"Making the world safe for democracy!"

Expand full comment

Right, right, I see, I mean, it's different from the second word on! Not even the same number of words! Conclusive! I salute you!

Expand full comment

If it's turning purple, the guy should take the ring off immediately.

Expand full comment

It is the very model of a libertarian ideal ...

(to the tune of I am the very model of a modern major general, but my inspiration got up and left so I can't do but the first line, at least until after I neck down half this bottle of red wine)

Expand full comment