RAW UNCUT '60 MINUTES' BOOTLEGS! Tabs, Tues., Dec. 23, 2025
In the free countries they're watching '60 Minutes.'
Ho ho ho.
That 60 Minutes segment leaked out! Or rather, they had already sent it to Canada’s Global TV and Bari Weiss didn’t have time to get in her Flintstones car to go to Canada and cry and beg them to give it back. Haha, Bari Weiss is stupid and slow and bad at going to Canada! Oh no, Bari Weiss! Is this not up to your JOURNALISM STANDARDS? Just kidding, Bari Weiss isn’t qualified to pick up our dog’s shit, much less be an editor. Also we guess nobody in the entire CBS News building explained to her how global distribution works, timeline-wise, in the magical world of TV, which she knows nothing about. If anybody liked or respected her or was glad she was there, they could have told her. [Charlie Sykes / Allison Gill]
Hey wonder if this might be part of why Bari Weiss is so desperate to bury the very real story about what the Trump Terrorists and ICE Gestapo did to innocent Venezuelans by sending them to the Salvadoran gulag. Could this be part of it?
Oof, Charlotte Clymer, oof.
Hey should we just post it here? FUCK IT WE’LL DO IT LIVE.
Please watch every minute of that, thanks.
The Heritage Foundation is falling the fuck apart over this Tucker Carlson thing, more resignations en masse. Know what we think? That this is God’s judgment on those motherfuckers at Heritage for writing Project 2025, because that’s what happens to people God hates. Anyway, they are all soft-landing into the snowy white snuggle-grundle of Mike Pence, ew gross, sickos. [Politico]
You guyyyyyys, Kash Patel is upsetttttt, he needs to feel cool and he never feels cool because he’ll never be cool, but maybe he was thinking if he could ride around in armored BMWs then he’d feel cool and maybe that might distract him from how he’s too bad at his job to catch any criminal who ever lived? You guyyyyyyyys, Kash is very insecuuuuuuure right now, because he’s a little bitch. [MS NOW]
Bill Clinton’s spox says hey losers, release all the fucking Epstein Files, no seriously, all of them. In other words, he’s calling their bluff. [Politico]
If you have not heard, RUPERT MURDOCH’S WALL STREET JOURNAL is doing interior design features about HOMOSEXUAL THROUPLE SEX HAVERS who live in, you know, just really fabulous homes, and oh boy, all the right people did not like that. Come see me at my The Moral High Ground newsletter to subscribe and share and laugh and laugh! [The Moral High Ground]
The latest from the White House Dementia Care Unit is that they have told Trump he is designing a “battleship” for the Navy to use that will have all the fanciest weapons, weapons that don’t even exist yet, weapons that are invisible. The Trump “battleship” will look just like his ballroom, and will never be built. [Seattle Times]
Donald Trump has stopped all the offshore wind projects because OMG THE RADARS! Everything is stupid. [Fox News]
No Safe Spaces For Fascists: The Training Guide. Is it good? Dunno, haven’t read it yet, just liked the headline! But we’ve read other things by the same author and they’ve been good, so. [Christopher Armitage]
To continue your Rob Reiner tribute/memorial, I watched a documentary he made a couple years ago about his longtime best friend Albert Brooks, called Albert Brooks: Defending My Life. Which, sure, not about Rob Reiner exactly, except that the whole thing is built around a conversation between those two guys sitting in a restaurant, talking about Brooks’s whole life and career, which Reiner has been heavily involved in. Just a really fun and nice watch all the way around. Available on HBO Max.
And now you may GO AWAY FROM TABS, unless you want to stay.
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No holiday is complete without the traditional cats with trees: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/cats-in-christmas-trees
And today’s meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/e9d48e0e-4d0d-42f4-b33f-4328a00a785a?utm_source=share
Sorry, I'll have to catch up with everyone tomorrow. I had "surprise" cataract surgery on my right eye this morning (I thought I was going in for the pre-op assessment!) and, unlike when I had my left eye done in October, I can't see shit. I must have had Speedy Gonzales the last time; despite me having a pretty bad, tough, and thick cataract, he was done in 10 minutes and my vision in that eye was crystal clear immediately after surgery THIS guy today...in my right eye there was an early-stage cataract, and he took about a half-hour of playing tug-of-war with my eye. Everything is completely blurry in my right eye and it hurts (stings, like I have to constantly blink), and my right nostril is constantly running.
I can't wear my glasses with this stupid eye-shield on for the next 24 hours (forgive me if there are more than my usual number of typos) and right now, just to type this, I have my computer screen enlarged to 170%. All I can really do without my glasses is watch TV. I can't even crochet! 😭
The only bright side to all of this is that I don't have to cook tonight. Thai food (or maybe fish & chips) it is!