565 Comments
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Pexas Teat's avatar

The only reason Comer isn't in the Epstein files is because Epstein trafficked girls, not livestock.

Mark Linimon's avatar

That's really mean. Come sit by me and tell me more.

Nemo's avatar

Comer continues try to win at a battle of wits with Hillary and Bill Clinton. That's like taking a knife to a gun fight.

nick kelly's avatar

Entertaining stuff and on the mark. From me, a joke: about all the Pizza Gate crap, if I asked my AI assistant to make up a story about Clinton running such an operation, I would not expect it to star the Clinton called Hillary.

I Stedman's avatar

I'm afraid if I signed up for free canoodling I'd end up chained to a desk in a damp basement, and if the Editrix caught my typing speed going below 75wpm I'd get the hose again...

Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, and you can't prove nothing.

Mark Linimon's avatar

And, look, a squirrel!

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I understand that I have been mispronouncing the name of our latest military debacle as Operation Epstein's Fury.

According to the NYT Pitchbot, it's Operation Epstein Fury.

I apologize for any inconvenience this lapse on my part may have caused you.

Opalescent Riddles's avatar

Signed, Epstein's Mom.

tehbaddr's avatar

"But you, me, and the Clintons are not in it."

I never did anything wrong. I've been exonerated of everything! - teh bad dr

Dudley Didwrong's avatar

I'm sure that Jimmy Comer would be able to wring the true truth out of you.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

That is now my new go-to pickup line.

"Wanna go back to my place? I'm not in the Epstein Files."

Regret's avatar

Skepchick has a better one: "Wanne go back to my place? I am in the Epstein files because the perverts are warning each other about me."

innocentbystander's avatar

Iran. Venezuela. Cuba. Three tails to wag one dog. The dog's name is "Jeffrey". In this scheme of things, James Comer is a fire hydrant.

tehbaddr's avatar

"Jimmy boy, I know from Pigfuckers. I'm from Arkansas, and you Jimmy are a Pigfucker!"

Dudley Didwrong's avatar

As a representative of the Amalgamated Union of Swine, Hogs, and Pigs, I would like a word with you. None of us would allow Comer to come near us. Those chickens, however....

tehbaddr's avatar

Comer's not picky, he'll fuck any barnyard critter!

What A Debacle's avatar

Remember when every single political discussion on Twitter REQUIRED the inclusion of the words "ad hominem"?

Yeah, that was annoying. Like every wannabe pundit on earth discovered a new phrase at the exact same time and they could NOT stop repeating it.

The suddenly ubiquitous "Murc's Law" will be torturing us for the forseeable future.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Basically, he devoted his entire life to amassing enough wealth and power that he would be able to fuck the equivalent of every girl in high school who called him Nutlick.

What A Debacle's avatar

Then he hit the Ass Ceiling, Trump's taint.

Hank Napkin's avatar

FIRM GRASP OF THE OBVIOUS!

Trump’s unprovoked attack on Iran has no mandate – or legal basis -- The Guardian

tehbaddr's avatar

/thinks about it

Boy willickers! They're right!

My Erdos Number Is Five's avatar

JFC, depose the guy actually squatting in the White House.

Major Kong's avatar

The guy who's pictured with Epstein and Maxwell along with his Slovenian gold digger.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Melania, too. They pulled Hillary in.

Kirsty Gnome #squattor's avatar

On the bright side, "The American Revolution" will soon be renamed, just as "The Great War" was.

Stulexington's avatar

At the very least they'll put a 1 after it.

VwllssWndr's avatar

"Our First Mistake"

G-7 in Space's avatar

Bibi' involved so I'm sure AIPAC is in this as well...