312 Comments
User's avatar
fifthdentist's avatar

Plus ritual genital mutilation. Plus a brain injury that makes the victim's brain thingy play only images of a naked Barbara Bush in knee-high cowgirl boots and a thong in an endless loop.

Expand full comment
Comrade Wingtardd's avatar

Imagine, though, how horrifying puberty must have been for him when he discovered his inky black, wormy discharge was not normal. But at least he was the inspiration behind that shit movie Prometheus

Expand full comment
ImpureScience's avatar

Oh, please, for God's sake, make it go away. I can never un-think these thoughts, or un-see the images in my mind's eye. Why am I thinking the last scene of The Man With The X-Ray Eyes...

Expand full comment
glennisw's avatar

Ew

Expand full comment
Queen Méabh's avatar

I wondered about the laundry service at my university 40 years ago. You could sign up for a program in the dorms in which the university gave you sheets, and they exchanged them for clean sheets every week and washed them for you. I did not sign up for this, I brought my own sheets and did my own laundry, but I suspect a lot of the guys in my coed dorm found this program useful. I would not have wanted to work in the laundry service at that university or any other.

I must be fair here. . . some of the women in my dorm were just as bad.

Expand full comment
Annake_Merle's avatar

but not as leaky. its quantity over quality in crusty sheets

Expand full comment
Annake_Merle's avatar

did he hurt his hands?

Expand full comment
Queen Méabh's avatar

That depends on how you define "leaky." I had terrible menstrual periods - had to wash the sheets in the middle of the night many times.

Expand full comment
dinah42's avatar

I totally misunderstood the tweet. I thought Craig "A" Amazon was calling his former roommate a dildo. I prefer my misreading and will pretend that everyone else is wrong because OH MY GOD MY MIND-EYES! THERE IS NOT ENOUGH BLEACH!

Expand full comment
riledupone's avatar

Goldman Sachs office boy?

Expand full comment
riledupone's avatar

I think that's way more humps than would have been necessary.

Expand full comment
riledupone's avatar

Everybody claims to have been there but nobody really understood it.

Expand full comment
Snobo's avatar

You got all that from that one tweet?

Expand full comment
thixotropic jerk's avatar

Will no one think of the pillows????

Expand full comment
Dragon with the girl tattoo's avatar

Hey, trigger warning that shit!

Expand full comment
Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

What about elevensies?

Expand full comment