Republican Maryland US Senate Hopeful Larry Hogan Is Pro-Choice Now, You Betcha

Will Maryland order up a Susan Collins?

Don’t fuck with us, Larry.

Don’t let his sentient-crabcake demeanor fool you, former governor of Maryland Larry Hogan is not soft! He is a man of principle, and that principle is that he, Larry Hogan, should be in charge of making America’s laws. He’d prefer the corpse of Ronald Reagan, but since Ronnie can’t come to the phone right now, he will step up as the next best thing. You’re welcome, America! He toyed with the idea of running for president last year as a “No Labels” guy, but his polling was a wet fart. So instead he filed to run for the US Senate at the last minute, giving Maryland Democrats a big screech huh wah? Oh fuck.

Larry is an actual contender, because he’s a likable kind of guy. One of his first acts as governor was political genius: He lowered the Bay Bridge toll by $2, cheaply scoring the appreciation of everyone driving to the beach. He also beat cancer and adopted shelter dogs. How could you vote against a guy who did all that?! Look how cuddly and bald he is! It also helped that as governor, his legislative job was to veto stuff, which let him take credit for the fruits of legislation passed by Democrats. He was generally pleasant (other than fucking over Baltimore City whenever he got the chance), wasn’t an anti-vax fruitcake, and left with an astronomical 80 percent approval rating.

It could even be argued that Hogan as governor was good for the progressive agenda. He gave Democrats in the Legislature a scratching post to claw against and forced them to focus, instead of fighting amongst themselves for their pet causes like they did when Martin “Carcetti” O’Malley was in charge.

And now Larry, the guy who once described himself as an anti-abortion Catholic and publicly called himself “pro-life” many, many, many times, has flip-flopped and released an ad going full Susan Collins:

“As governor, I promised to uphold Maryland law on abortion, while providing over-the-counter birth control covered by insurance. And I kept my word. Today, with Roe overturned, many have asked what I’ll do in the United States Senate. I’ll support legislation that makes Roe the law of the land, in every state, so every woman can make her own choice. I’m Larry Hogan, and I approve this message, because no one should come between a woman and her doctor.”

Well, first off, of course he promised that when he ran as governor. Maryland is 55 percent Democrat, 31 percent Republican, and 14 percent confused. Support for abortion being “legal in all or most cases” has never dipped below 60 percent in the state, some polls have shown support as high as 88 percent, and 60 percent of all voters (and 73 percent of Democrats) call abortion a “major factor” for their vote. 

The otherwise pro-choice Maryland voters who put Larry over the top in 2014 and again in 2018 did that knowing that as governor with a deep-blue Legislature he would have nearly zero power to hamper abortion access in the state. And for the Senate, presenting as anything but pro-choice would make his campaign immediately tits-up in the water. Still, even so, he took six entire weeks to announce any position at all. 

And another thing, birth control covered by insurance has been mandated in Maryland way back since 1996, when Democrat Parris Glendening was governor, and bolstered by Obamacare. Larry signed the Contraceptive Equity Act which let Plan B be sold over the counter, but it had already passed the Legislature overwhelmingly, and if he’d vetoed it, he would have been embarrassingly overridden anyway.

And, when Larry did have the chance to expand abortion access in 2022, and the Legislature earmarked $3.5 million to train abortion care providers, he vetoed it, was overridden, then refused to release the money or explain why he wouldn’t. In 2024 he opposed a ballot measure to protect abortion access, saying it “wasn’t really necessary,” and condescendingly calling it “an emotional issue for women.” (Women aren’t the only ones who will emotionally vote against you for it, Larry.)

So don’t be fooled, Maryland voters. As a senator he would have all the power to sign on fully with the Project 2025 agenda, and of course he would, he is besties with glitchin’ Mitch McConnell, who convinced him to run in the first place. And Mitch sure as shit wouldn’t have pushed him to run if he thought Larry would fart up that seat just as good as any old Democrat. Larry would happily confirm your next Amy Coathanger Barrett or Alleybortion Alito.

A pro-life stance is ballot-box murder, and Hogan isn’t the only contender who knows it. Nevada candidate Sam Brown went from wanting a national ban (even though his wife had an abortion) to scrubbing his website of all mention and saying the states should decide. Kari Lake was for that 1864 law banning abortion in Arizona, then she was against it, then she was for it again. 

Weasels gonna weasel!

Hogan will be up against Democrat Angela Alsobrooks for the US Senate seat in November. Absolutely no one expected Alsobrooks to win the primary against rich booze baron David Trone — not a single poll ever had showed her ahead. But she went on to beat the guy who spent $61 million of his own money by more than 10 points (LOL). So maybe Maryland voters will also see through lyin’ Larry’s bullhockey! MAGA also hates him, and Roger Stone has called him a “pedophile” on Twitter, because that’s what he calls anyone who doesn’t kiss Trump’s ass hard enough.

So maybe it’s not looking good for Larry. But polls, for whatever they’re worth, are mighty close. Here’s hoping this lying doesn’t let him close that gap!