1014 Comments
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Just_Jim's avatar

Disagree. There's no rock bottom for republicans. They'll just get a jackhammer and drill further.

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Marcie. I've spoken to God and no, Tony, you are NOT forgiven and this is NOT forgotten. Oh, and God says go fuck yourself, because you're not fit company for any other human.

Re-Engineer's avatar

Yep. Same well-worn formula.

[ I made a mistake.

I asked God for forgiveness.

I'm a stronger Christian now.

Can't we just forget about this and move on? ]

Easiest con job you can do, and it works so reliably for a certain audience.

Holy fuckballs though, the poor lady SET HERSELF ON FUCKING FIRE. I can't possibly fathom the reality of having to live with the guilt of that, ever, so I'm obviously not on the same level as a Republican politician. I'll just accept my beta male weakness and retreat back to the shadows.

kmblue187's avatar

The President of these here United States is a perv, so every officeholder can be a perv. Leading by example, the President is.

bdog's avatar

Of course, 'god' forgave you, he doesn't exist. Santa tells me I'm on the nice list every year.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Are you trying to say something about Santa?

Wookiee Monster's avatar

“Since then, I have reconciled with my wife, Angel, I’ve asked God to forgive me — which he has — and my faith is as strong as ever.”

Reminds me of the scene from “Oh Brother Where Art Thou” where Delmar and Pete proclaim that, having been baptized, God has forgiven them for their sins and they won’t have to be fugitives any more. To which Ulysses replies that maybe God has forgiven them but “the state of Mississippi will be a bit more hard ass.”

Fuck you, Gonzales. I hope the voters of Texas as more hard ass than your god.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Pedo 47’s lasting impact on the GOP is that he’s taught them how to be utterly shameless. People like Gonzales or the puppy murdering cosplayer don’t seem to even understand how awful they look.

Puppy Killer’s dead eyes during the hearings this week as she was asked about her fuck plane and grifting said it all. It’s like she can’t even comprehend why anyone would object to her living it up on the taxpayers’ dime.

Lynn Veit's avatar

She's an Important Person, with Important Things to do. She's Entitled to the hilt.

verne's avatar

gnome can now ride cory off the cliff

Wondering Woman's avatar

Texas is Fucked Up. Politically, anyway. There are many nice things about the state once you get past the governance.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I've only been in the northern part, traveling from Oklahoma to New Mexico. It was bleak.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

"I asked God to forgive me, but he hasn't yet."

--No one who got caught, ever

Colbert Thorenson's avatar

"Texas ain’t you tired of this?" Nah, not even when the other option is a straight laced genuinely religious white guy who has the gall to not hate other humans.

John_atx's avatar

Speaking as a Texan. The Republicans that vote in primary elections in this state are bad enough. The Republicans that vote in primary runoffs are beyond belief. It’s going to be a long two and a half months until the runoff. I just wonder how many Republicans who might have voted in the Democratic primary because they thought that Crockett would be easier to beat are going to be surprised when they can’t vote in the Republican runoff?

Rhand Holm's avatar

All of the people I personally know who have had affairs, are conservative. I can recall 9 off the top of my head. Relatives, coworkers, neighbors... One notable example is my brother's ex-wife. Two weeks before their wedding she came on to me at a family event. I dislike my brother, but I'd never have sex with his fiancé. He eventually caught her cheating on him and they divorced.

I'm not saying liberals don't have escapades, I just think it's not as common. That or we're better at hiding it.

Michael Bowen's avatar

Yeah, while there were a couple post-graduation marriages that went belly-up pretty quick, generally in my circle divorces have been pretty rare, particularly in cases with children. In my extended social circle I can only think of three, which are less than half the number that my four Suthn Babtst step-siblings have among them.

Lynn Veit's avatar

About 30 or so years ago, a thoroughly Repug colleague said his biological parents had been married and divorced several times each...and that between them, had about 8 weddings and 8 divorces.

Wow. And back then, the Repugs were chest thumping about "family values" like howler monkeys on speed.

swmnguy's avatar

I've known several myself. Also two guys who got into "swinging." All right-wingers.

One of the "swingers" got into a throuple, and apparently the other man, who was the one actually married to the woman, decided he wasn't into it anymore. So he shot his wife, and the guy I knew, and then himself, to death one day.

All right-wingers, newly wealthy finance types.

I kinda think they have very unrealistic ideas of what human reality is, and then can't accept that they and the people they're with don't live up to an impossibility. That kind of thing always comes out sideways, and sometimes with extreme consequences.

Lib types are generally better at accepting that they and theirs are flawed and fallible, so they can talk about it; break up more amicably if needed; don't rush into commitments as fast or as heedlessly; etc.

Generally. Not all the time. Not all people. Generally.

But if your entire worldview is based on rigidity, callousness, lack of empathy; things can get very weird and you're pre-wired to not handle it well.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Over in Indian Country Markwayne Mullin gets panned for being 'white-passing' and an advocate of "whitewashing" the history of genocide against Indigenous People. I am eager to learn how that constituency views his promotion to Secretary Of Homeland Security. I'll bet the various Indigenous People have a thing or two to say about how the Homeland got 'secured' to begin with!

Is there an Indigenous Deity that created Irony?

S Cerevisiae's avatar

We have many tricksters from dozens of tribes, maybe hundreds. Most love to show pretenders the error of their ways. That being said, we also have our share of idiots who can’t see they’re being played.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

It's a good thing he'll only be involved with the homeland. Unless someone had the decency to correct him, he still thinks the guy we killed in Iran is the guy who came into power during the 1979 Iranian Hostage Crisis.

Lynn Veit's avatar

Kristi Noem got the axe? *does happy dance*

Wow. Ya miss things sometimes when you just can't make yourself watch cable news anymore. *searches Mark Wayne Mullins, reads story.*

But where is ICE Barbie going to wear all those ridiculous outfits now? Her new "assignment" doesn't sound much like cosplay material. Does she lose the jet too?

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Even worse, Markwayne gets Corey in the divorce.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Whose “Homeland?”

Raccoon of Vengeance's avatar

Well he has not been confirmed and he cannot legally serve until he leaves the Senate.

T L Mills's avatar

Also Markie-the-not-so-bright has insulted one person who might be pivotal in his confirmation....Rand Paul. Rand Paul is chairman of the Senate committee on Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs. Just recently Markwayne called him a "freaking snake" and thinks Rand's neighbor was very justified in his physical assault.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

But, Trump wants him, and you know how tight Trump and Rand are.

swmnguy's avatar

Oh Goody, he'll be "Acting" until Li'l Marco catches up on his work backlog as Archivist of the United States.

Monsieur Grumpe's avatar

Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel. These guys are like that stuff that gets sucked out of a restaurant's grease trap.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

When I worked at Wendy's, I had to empty the grease buckets under the grill into a big, fifty-gallon drum out by the dumpster. A big truck with a crane would come periodically and haul them away.

I asked what they used all that grease for.

The answer. "Cosmetics."

Monsieur Grumpe's avatar

I worked at a Denny's. There was a trap in the floor covered by a small manhole cover near the dishwashing area. The smell made me gag when they opened it.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

One of those fatbergs that keep clogging up sewers.

Free beach's avatar

Tony the torch is available

satch's avatar

Does this mean that Markwayne will have to get lip and cheekbone filler?

Elviouslyqueer's avatar

He'll need it to hide the stretch marks from sucking Dump's Vienna sausage.

Lynn Veit's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

Thanks! I need these laughs wherever I find them! :)

Bear: PROTECT THE AMERICUB's avatar

Or as Dump thinks of it, the Armour of God.

Lynn Veit's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

Y'all are killin' it!

Martin Shobe's avatar

Yes. If he doesn't look like Noem, Trump won't remember his title.

Free beach's avatar

No, but he does have to shave his head.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Wait until you see his hair extensions.