938 Comments
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Rhand Holm's avatar

All of the people I personally know who have had affairs, are conservative. I can recall 9 off the top of my head. Relatives, coworkers, neighbors... One notable example is my brother's ex-wife. Two weeks before their wedding she came on to me at a family event. I dislike my brother, but I'd never have sex with his fiancé. He eventually caught her cheating on him and they divorced.

I'm not saying liberals don't have escapades, I just think it's not as common. That or we're better at hiding it.

swmnguy's avatar

I've known several myself. Also two guys who got into "swinging." All right-wingers.

One of the "swingers" got into a throuple, and apparently the other man, who was the one actually married to the woman, decided he wasn't into it anymore. So he shot his wife, and the guy I knew, and then himself, to death one day.

All right-wingers, newly wealthy finance types.

I kinda think they have very unrealistic ideas of what human reality is, and then can't accept that they and the people they're with don't live up to an impossibility. That kind of thing always comes out sideways, and sometimes with extreme consequences.

Lib types are generally better at accepting that they and theirs are flawed and fallible, so they can talk about it; break up more amicably if needed; don't rush into commitments as fast or as heedlessly; etc.

Generally. Not all the time. Not all people. Generally.

But if your entire worldview is based on rigidity, callousness, lack of empathy; things can get very weird and you're pre-wired to not handle it well.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Over in Indian Country Markwayne Mullin gets panned for being 'white-passing' and an advocate of "whitewashing" the history of genocide against Indigenous People. I am eager to learn how that constituency views his promotion to Secretary Of Homeland Security. I'll bet the various Indigenous People have a thing or two to say about how the Homeland got 'secured' to begin with!

Is there an Indigenous Deity that created Irony?

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Whose “Homeland?”

Raccoon of Vengeance's avatar

Well he has not been confirmed and he cannot legally serve until he leaves the Senate.

swmnguy's avatar

Oh Goody, he'll be "Acting" until Li'l Marco catches up on his work backlog as Archivist of the United States.

Monsieur Grumpe's avatar

Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel. These guys are like that stuff that gets sucked out of a restaurant's grease trap.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

One of those fatbergs that keep clogging up sewers.

Free beach's avatar

Tony the torch is available

satch's avatar

Does this mean that Markwayne will have to get lip and cheekbone filler?

Elviouslyqueer's avatar

He'll need it to hide the stretch marks from sucking Dump's Vienna sausage.

Bear: PROTECT THE AMERICUB's avatar

Or as Dump thinks of it, the Armour of God.

Martin Shobe's avatar

Yes. If he doesn't look like Noem, Trump won't remember his title.

Free beach's avatar

No, but he does have to shave his head.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Wait until you see his hair extensions.

Bear: PROTECT THE AMERICUB's avatar

Kristi: "Anyone wanna give me a job? Huh? Hell-OOOO!!"

World: {{crickets, crickets, crickets}}

Kristi: "STOP DOING THAT!"

Free beach's avatar

She gives jobs. But for Cory.

Bear: PROTECT THE AMERICUB's avatar

Wonket: Come for the snark. You'll stay, even if your lunch doesn't!

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

World: {{tumbleweed, lonely bell tolling in distance}}

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Send not to know for whom the bell tolls.

No, seriously, don’t.

It doesn’t toll for thee.

gallbladder's avatar

[the screech of a condor high in the air]

SayItWithWookies's avatar

***“Since then, I have reconciled with my wife, Angel, I’ve asked God to forgive me — which he has — and my faith is as strong as ever.”***

Oh, well -- we're all glad HE'S okay. Apparently the dead wife and mother he was pressuring for naked pics while she begged him to stop as her mental health deteriorated is of no consequence. Jesus fucking Christ, this guy doesn't need to be in Congress, he needs to be in a Hannibal Lecter suit.

SkeptiKC's avatar

He NEEDS to be six feet under.

Pandora's avatar

Who gets the "pleasure" of fumigating that luxury jet now that the puppy killer's leaving DHS?

Elviouslyqueer's avatar

Now I REALLY want to know what was in that bag she left behind.

Mysterysurf's avatar

Fetch me the UV light.

On second thought, I don't wanna know.

gallbladder's avatar

The plane would light up like a solar flare.

Mysterysurf's avatar

Call Roto-Rooter, that's the name, and away go troubles down the drain. Roto-Rooter!

Markwayne Mullin, duty calls!

gallbladder's avatar

Or "doodie calls"

YOU WERE SO CLOSE!!!

Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

Markwayne Mullin Dadgum. Thankfully, I wasn't holding out for somebody who might have been better than Puppykiller Krusty. My god, listening to Dadgum talk makes me want to put a bucket over my head and beat on it with a Louisville Slugger.

https://www.cnbc.com/2026/03/05/trump-kristi-noem-markwayne-mullin-dhs.html

Russell Jones's avatar

The shitbird who threatened to beat up a witness during a Senate committee hearing and who expressed extreme displeasure over the view that "Black people are not apes"? Kinda makes you wonder why he didn't get the DHS job in the first place.

satch's avatar

Mullin has about 2 inches on Bovino

Lance Thrustwell's avatar

Heh. 4 instead of 2.

Martin Shobe's avatar

Still an "innie".

Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

You can't be talking about his weenus. It ain't even 2".

"M"'s avatar

I love you, Hammy -- but you cannot force me to think about that

Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

Nor would I want to. I'm not quite *that* evil.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Neither one could find it with Trump’s tiny fingers.

Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

And Trump has had plenty of practice!

Parker Leo Blinsky's avatar

Hopefully the bug eyed fuck is next.

Free beach's avatar

There’s a never ending list of creeps , pedo pervs, and sycophantic turds in line.

You know, only the best people.

No Quid Bro Code's avatar

He can offer Ken Paxton FBI director or AG to clear the path for Cornyn.

Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

I thought "bug eyed fuck" was referring to Paxton.

Bear: PROTECT THE AMERICUB's avatar

¿Por qué no los dos... er... los every pinche one of them?

No Quid Bro Code's avatar

I think "cock-eyed" would be the correct term there.

Parker Leo Blinsky's avatar

Watch the Democrats unanimously vote to confirm Markwayne Mullin because he’s a member of the club.

tek's avatar

is r democrats learnin'?

EyeQueue's avatar

This right here. It's so fucking gross.

They *all* confirmed Liddle' Marco.

What. In. The Fuck.

Free beach's avatar

I just drool.

You know I must be getting old. I just noticed nobody at the drums. I usually just look at Hoffs.

Tessie's avatar

Hay, you guyzes! Easy just told me that Gnome is out and Richard Wayne Gary Wayne Markwayne Mullins is in!

Vileaxxe's avatar

Rats, I was just about to get “Noemnuts” to catch on.

"M"'s avatar

It's good that I'll probably never meet him bc I'd probably call him "MarkWayne Mullet" to his face

(I've met Republicans; I just can't see meeting that one)

Tetman Callis's avatar

Fire Noem to distract from the Iran War to distract from The Groceries to distract from Affordability to distract from The Ballroom to distract from the East Wing to distract from . . . the Epstein Files.

It just goes around and around. Wheee!

Raccoon of Vengeance's avatar

Noem to become envoy to the "Shield of the Americas"

What the Hell?

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

What the fuck is that Shield thingie anyway? Is it part of Bored of Peace?

An "envoy"?

Why not just tell it like it is and say she's the messenger / cocktail waitress / coffee boy who gets to relay communiques & serve the drinks?

No way this is a promotion. More like being exiled and removed from public attention. It will rankle her ass.

I smell a new tell-all book in the wind.

Coleman's avatar

She'll serve drinks on the jet she used to fly

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

As long as she has her bag of sex toys and her blanket she should be OK.

EyeQueue's avatar

Or Venom. Or COBRA.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Lovely parting grift.

SkeptiKC's avatar

That over-sprayed bint is Drumpfenfuehrer's Defense Diva.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

She gets to wear a cape and say things like "Nobody expects the Noem"

"M"'s avatar

For $200 million

Where are Anonymous

gallbladder's avatar

That and "You're nobody 'til Noembody loves you."

What?

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

and the shield is made of papier-mache and has a picture of a turkey on it

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

sn00rk!! *librarian stare* hee hee hee

helenasgarden's avatar

Awww, she's losing her flying bawdyhouse. Awww.

wobbly's avatar

Board of Peace West.

"M"'s avatar

Bored of Peace

gallbladder's avatar

Jesus Christ: these fucking people and their memes.

Mysterysurf's avatar

Wonder what the fee is to join up with that one?

"M"'s avatar

He took -- excuse me, STOLE -- $10 billion of your tax dollars in order to form it, and it's not a government entity

So, I mean, it ought to be free, don't you think

TerseNurse's avatar

Well, we'll wave the dues this month, but there's still a service charge and a nominal initiation fee.

Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

Sounds like something out of the Marvel Universe.

"M"'s avatar

Are we all gonna call Kevin Feige's office and get him to put her in a movie with the employment condition that she get and stay out of U.S. government?

Because she's insane and I don't want her there

MRK's avatar

When people were first in the first term, it made Trump look bad. So no one gets fired now. They had to invent a job for her.

Honestly, I'm just surprised this job wasn't also given to Rubio.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

Markwayne fucking Mullin though. It's like the thought process is "who's the most incompetent fucking loonbat I can think of"

MRK's avatar

He saw Markwayne say something nice about him while he was pissed at Norm. That's all it is.