155 Comments

(Honestly, Judge Noreika behaved pretty rashly here. She does not appear to be enjoying the spotlight in this case.)

Trump appointee you say? Maybe she is not enjoying it because other Trump appointees in the spotlight have been exposed as partisan hacks who know less about law than I do?

Expand full comment

Ta, Liz. You lawsplain so very well.

Expand full comment

Those witnesses who swore under oath that something else was afoot because "whistleblowers", they better have lawyers.

Expand full comment

Liz, your Open Arguments on this was EXcellent. It took me halfway through my drive home from my trip to my hometown today!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you! We aim to please.

Expand full comment
Jul 27, 2023·edited Jul 27, 2023

This is a plea deal for an American citizen not holding any public office. Judge Noreika should have told Congress to go fuck themselves and that she wouldn't read any brief they provided.

Expand full comment

Since Liz thinks the judge acted honorably, I will defer to her cogent analysis. I admit I first thought there was tomfoolery afoot from her, but this makes it clearer that there was other fuckery about.

Expand full comment

Thank you for the clarification. So the judge was actually looking out for Hunter while setting her own boundaries. Those lawyers who negotiated this apparently heard what they wanted to hear, facts be damned. Maybe the tax charges will just go away in the coming kerfuffle.

Expand full comment

Mmmm. Bullshit for everyone!!

Expand full comment

As usual thus is all over my head. I cant even follow legalese on the English translation. What does all of this mean? Does it mean anything? What has happened? Is he in more trouble than he was before, or the same trouble I really wish that I could follow this stuff.

Expand full comment

I know. I need a flow chart.

Expand full comment

I think pretty much the same, although Hunter's lawyers now know they have to pay attention to what the other side is saying.

Expand full comment

"[Republican Senator/Congressman asshole], how do you reconcile going after Hunter Biden over 2 misdemeanors with having to defend your party leader and 2024 frontrunner, who is under 73 very serious criminal indictments?"

Do your fucking job, "liberal" media.

Expand full comment

The thing that pisses me off (among the many, many things) is that Hunter Biden is a private citizen. He has not, nor ever will, hold political office of any kind.

I know all the GOP does is projection but "political prosecution" definitely applies here. No one would give a shit if they didn't think he was a way to get at Joe Biden. Also — what happened to "leaving the kids out of it," you screaming GOP shitbirds?

He has never worked in government, unlike the offspring of a former president,* who subsequently got a cool $2bil from the Saudis, for example. Funny how none of them care to talk about or investigate that.

*I refuse to call his 4 years squatting in the WH a presidency

Expand full comment

They're trying to break the man, so that will break the president.

At first I thought they were hoping merely for a relapse or a mental break down but anymore I am pretty convinced they are trying to get him to attempt suicide again

Expand full comment

JFC that is horrible and yet I wouldn't put it past them at all.

Expand full comment

"former president* -- I use the designator "xxx-president", which is appropriate for a porn-star swiver.

Expand full comment
Jul 27, 2023·edited Jul 27, 2023

Joe Biden is way too boring and been in the spotlight way too long to have any dirt. So, they're digging it up in the mine provided by his fuck up of a son. Hunter hasn't done anything that lots of other people have done and the Trump Spawn have done orders of magnitude worse, but he's still a fuck up. That said, he's still not exactly a criming king pin and this whole thing is ridiculous.

Expand full comment

Let Leonard Peltier out, then start screaming political prisoner.

Expand full comment

I'm fully on board with that as well and he should be released.

Expand full comment

Fuck yes. Neither Clinton, nor Obummer, nor Biden did/are Doing What is Right.

Expand full comment

See there you go logicking again. You know they don't do logic or sentience.

Expand full comment

they can @ me when their own failchildren are up for public scrutiny and comparisons come up.

Expand full comment
Jul 27, 2023·edited Jul 27, 2023

Hunter Biden has a law degree, and is represented by supposedly competent counsel.

A plea deal which includes amnesty for unknown crimes seems like a remarkable, aberrant deal, beyond reasonable expectation.

There's definitely some bullshit being flung here.

Expand full comment

Yeah... that's a lot for HB to ask.

Expand full comment

And apparently an excessive amount of wishful thinking and selective hearing, which not even good lawyers are immune to.

Expand full comment

So apparently Matt Walsh, the guy who hates the LGBTQ community, is also known as "sweet daddy" Walsh and there are videos circulating of him in adult diapers, as well as The Daily Wire selling doll fetish diaper dolls named sweet daddy. There are also videos of adult men dressed in nothing but diapers- one with a Swastika logo- wrestling each other on the Daily Wire site.

These are the people screaming about drag queens and accusing trans people and feminists of being the downfall of civilization- I shit you not... be glad that we can't post Twitter, er I mean X links anymore

Expand full comment

"x" Schmex. An asshole-run site by any other name....

Expand full comment

I, for one, will not kink shame anyone’s fantasies. After all, I still think I have a chance of convincing Taylor Swift to run away with me and open a banana stand in Jamaica. We’ll sell daiquiris and diving lessons.

Expand full comment

I'm not at all surprised and also going to take your word for it because there isn't enough eye bleach in the world to look at those videos.

Expand full comment

The best designation that I've yet seen for posts on Husk's digital shit-fit site is Xcretions.

Expand full comment
founding

(Meanwhile over in Alternate dimension XII POTUS Kamela Harris confers with her newly appointed Envoy to The Vatican, Hunter Biden, in the Oblong Office of the White House)

POTUS KH: Good to see you back here in DC Hunter! The place sure gets dull when you have to go over to Italy to straighten things out for everyone.

HB: Thanks boss! Good to see you too. I don't think the Pope is going to be making any more trouble for us for awhile.

POTUS KH: I'm so pleased to hear that Hunter. All that saber rattling between him and Tehran was making everyone in Europe mighty jumpy.

HB: We were right on the brink this time boss! The theocrats in Tehran had a battalion of suicide bombers infiltrated throughout Italy and they would have pulled the trigger if the Pope made good on his threats to use his nuclear weapons!

POTUS KH: Did he give up where he got his nukes? The CIA haven't got a clue.

HB: Yeah, he told me he got them from Israel. AND he said the Israelis had told him Tehran had their own nukes from Pakistan! We hadn't known that before.

POTUS KH: I'm so glad I listened to your dad and made you the Envoy to the Vatican! The deal to have the Pope call off the Roman Catholics in North America on the Abortion issue has really left the forced birth advocates without any ground troops. Congress is getting ready to approve the Abortion Rights Bill right now.

HB: No problemo boss.

POTUS KH: So Hunter I have to ask if you did any arm twisting this time? Anything I should know about before the press learns about it. You know I hate surprises.

HB: Nothing serious boss. I just put the agreement you wanted him to sign right on the desk in front of him. Then I put the gun to his head. Then I told him that either his signature or his brains would be on that paper within the next 10 seconds. Presto! Total compliance!

POTUS KH: I hope you smiled all the time you were doing this.

HB: Of course I smiled boss! That's the Biden Way!

Expand full comment

Make him an offer he can't refuse!

Expand full comment

Semi--OT: I was unaware that Jill Biden was married before she was married to OHJ. Hubby #1 seems like a real peach. He's clearly still mad about their divorce almost 50 years later.

https://www.newsweek.com/jill-bidens-ex-husband-defends-trump-slams-biden-crime-family-1815754

Expand full comment

The Masters of Distraction sound pretty damned desperate to me.

I do so enjoy watching them sputter and squirm.

Expand full comment