Republicans One Big Happy Family Now Wait Is Matt Gaetz Outing Colleagues?
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Republicans One Big Happy Family Now Wait Is Matt Gaetz Outing Colleagues?
It would appear!
Well!
Raise your hand if you have ANY confusion about what that means, as people will be walking through the aisles to explain conservative Republicans to you.
Matt Gaetz tweeted that. It’s a whole video. We’ll put it down below for perpetuity’s sake, in case Gaetz is suddenly beset by shame and deletes it.
Jason Smith is not some Democrat. He is the Republican chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee. In the video, Gaetz plays a clip of Smith saying some mean things about Gaetz. The context is so fucking unimportant, it is just childish Republicans bitching at each other about whatever is up their asses today:
SMITH: Let me just tell you, if Matt Gaetz’s lips are moving, it’s only lies that’s coming out of it. That gentleman only loves to propel himself and propaganda. He sounds like a Democrat. It’s exactly what Democrats say. They accuse Donald Trump of everything that they’re doing. Matt Gaetz is accusing Kevin McCarthy for everything that he’s doing. The blood is on his hands for 22 wasted days, for him to join with 100 percent of the Democrat party to remove the speaker of the House …
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, snap snap snap, hiss hiss, stomp away.
Smith ended by calling Matt Gaetz a “foolish liar.”
And in response, Gaetz said:
GAETZ: Jason Smith says if my lips are moving, I’m lying. Well, you know what? If Jason Smith is breathing, he is living a lie. There might not be another member of Congress who lives a lie every day more than Jason Smith. And Jason Smith knows exactly what I’m talking about. And by the way, so does almost every member of the House Republican caucus.
So, there’s a good deal of projection in Jason Smith calling me a liar when it’s Jason Smith, who literally has to live a lie. And I honestly pity him for that because you know, it wouldn’t be something that — I wouldn’t live that way. I’ll just put it that way. So, Jason, I would check yourself before you come at me with any accusations of being dishonest about what I say, when you’re dishonest about how you live and what you do.
Wow.
Now if Matt Gaetz is saying what we think he’s saying, you have to remember that in the real world among normal people, it would not matter. But Jason Smith represents Missouri’s 8th Congressional District, which is a huge part of the southeastern quadrant of the state, in the part of Missouri that is absolutely The South. It’s beautiful country, some of it. Foothills of the Ozarks, the actual Ozarks, wonderful rivers and lakes.
Also it is severe MAGA Pigfuckville.
Also also? Republicans just unanimously elected as speaker a Christian fascist religious extremist seditionist creeper who has spent a not insignificant portion of his professional life trying to keep gay sex criminalized.
So things are still going well in the House Republican caucus!
As to Gaetz’s allegations, you can google things if you want to. The unmarried Smith used to work out with and reportedly used to be close with Aaron Schock and the superhot dimwit Republican senator (former congressman) from Oklahoma, Markwayne Mullin, who really should just shush his mouth and look pretty, due to all the stupid that falls out when he doesn’t do that.
Regular Wonkette readers saw Smith recently when he, along with Jim Jordan and James Comer, chaired that wonderful and effective hearing where they impeached Hunter Biden’s penis and banned it from ever serving as president again.
The day before that hearing, Smith had a histrionic hissyfit when an NBC News reporter asked him to explain the timeline of his Joe Biden accusations in a way that made sense from the perspective of linear time. (Linear time has the woke mind virus, as we all know.)
Anyway, as promised, here’s that Matt Gaetz video.
Hate it how these guys can’t stop fighting.
Bless their hearts, everyone.
[Mediaite]
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
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Republicans One Big Happy Family Now Wait Is Matt Gaetz Outing Colleagues?
If Smith is gay, at least it's with consenting adults.
"Oh yah? Well, like, Matt, YOU'RE all liar liar pants on fire!"
"Well... Jason, you're all like gay and stuff!"
"Well at least I don't-"
"EXCUSE ME! What were you boys saying?"
"Er uhh... nothing Mister Pierman."
"Are we supposed to be saying things like that about each other on the playground?"
"Uhhhh.... I dunno."
"You two boys need to go see Mrs. Muntz in the principal's office this instant."