23 Comments

He didn't "soil himself," he simply (depending on focus group results):

"Created a bubble in the laundering market" "Expressed a surplus of post-processed consumer materials" "Discovered that brown invaders had breached the southern border"

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Actually, that's pretty smart on her part. How else would you get your average god-bothering wingnut interested in that?

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Well, it will be money well spent after they get the Unskewed Polls version.

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Is that you, Frank?

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So here's the plan: we're going to stencil "strengthening enforcement against gender bias in the workplace" on all the transvaginal wands. PROBLEM SOLVED!

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If anyone knows what women want, it's Miss Lindsay!

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Silly women if you would only learn how to make a good sammich and then stop learning things you would see how great we really are

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Dear GOP:

Whatever these guys are charging to tell you women hate you, I'll do it for less.

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"Strangely, even though House Republicans insist that jobs and the economy are their top priorities, women seem to perceive them as more interested in repealing Obamacare one more time."

Who says female voters aren't data driven?

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You'll also know that they meant no harm and they're sorry.

<a href="https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch\?v=c2Fm-gGgOKw" target="_blank">Hey, Callie! Hey, CAAAALLLL-ie!!</a>

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Nice work, focus groupies. Somebody's got a sammich coming!

Hope they have Frank Luntz on speed dial. He'll come up with something brilliant and deceptive, unless he's irredeemably soiled himself with his recent <a href="http:\/\/www.theatlantic.com\/politics\/archive\/2014\/01\/the-agony-of-frank-luntz\/282766\/" target="_blank">revelations</a> .

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I've said it before, and still the GOP doesn't listen: Some flowers every now and then wouldn't hurt.

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Don't forget Oprah. Women love Oprah.

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“It’s no surprise that conservatives have more work to do with women.”

What they need is some seminars!

How to Stay Pregnant Until Death. Samich Making 101. The Bliss of Subservience* *With special guest speaker Marcus Bachmann (sorry ladies he’s taken) The Glass Ceiling Myth Silence is the New Sexy. AND Polygamy Means Less Housework For You.

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So patting them on the head while patronizing them won't work any more?

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"Honey, I would never cheat on a woman as beautiful as you."

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