129 Comments

Before the Senate considers Lynch’s nomination, McConnell wants the Senate to pass the Justice for Victims of Trafficking Act.hey mitch, how's it feel to want?

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I am guessing he probably is not.

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"What do you mean that's not Ted Cruz's dick -it's my own dick? I'm charging myself $500/hour for my own dick?"...

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How about if the only tool you have is a rubber nose?..

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Two bad that neither involves actually working at his jerb. By that standard, Boehner is the hardest-working man in Congress. He can golf, he can knock one back, he can knock another one back. That's three things, right there, at it's still mid-afternoon.

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Stop it - this hurts....!

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Tic-tact-toe, anyone?

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“No reason Sen. McConnell can’t confirm Lynch this week, regardless of the status of the trafficking bill. Senate can do 2 things at once.”

I don't think the republicans have the necessary brain power.

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23 is probably higher than they can count. He'd be good if he were playing 5.

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I'm so bad at math I have no idea what that even means. Can we just say 0%?

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Don't fret, it's abstract algebra, which most people perfectly happily go through life never having heard of. Epsilon is defined as a square root of 0 which is not equal to zero. It's as imaginary as the square root of -1, but has different properties.

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The same number of torturers he's prosecuted?

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Hey, no spilling the Colonel's secret recipe!

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I say if Holder would start talking about an investigation into the 47 Lynch would be fast tracked and If he would drop the word about anyone being convicted they would be Gitmo bound hell they could get 2 things done at once

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McConnell: Hey, you guys, we need to be on our best behavior. This human trafficking bill is the only opportunity we will have in the next few months to take a break from killing hostages and actually do our jobs by legislating something. There is also a new Attorney General we can confirm so we can get rid of Holder.

Other Republican Senators in unison: But, we like killing hostages. It's fun!

McConnell: Oh. In that case, let's double down on abortion and screw up the bill and the nomination at the same time by holding one hostage for the other.

(Other Republicans cheer and then get drunk)

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Well, if you can't put a poison pill in a bill, cuz democrats, try, try again? One would think it wouldn't be necessary... but at this point I think the cons are going to try to run on scared white people crap and Benghazi for the next 2 years as they have nothing else. (Note, I also too is a scared white person, but mostly about how much it will cost me for insurance in 3 years when my boy child has a license)..

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